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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do if you'd identified someone you know on here (MN)?

108 replies

Samosamo · 25/07/2021 15:50

Would you avoid reading their posts, especially if they are personal?

Or would you read on with gluttony?!

OP posts:
MyCatDribbles · 25/07/2021 15:51

Personally I would avoid
It’s a bit like finding someone’s diary

Insert1x20p · 25/07/2021 15:52

I told them. Thought it was fair to give them the chance to name change. Otherwise I felt uncomfortable reading their posts, as though I was spying on them.

ThroughThinkandThing · 25/07/2021 15:54

There are two people on here who I recognised from a specific post/thread. I haven't gone looking for their other posts, but haven't told them I know their username either.

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 25/07/2021 15:55

I told her. Nicely she didn’t then bother to change username so I guess she didn’t care much. I don’t search threads so would only see her by chance.

AlternativePerspective · 25/07/2021 15:57

I wouldn’t go looking for their posts, but I wouldn’t avoid them, and I wouldn’t tell them.

ParkheadParadise · 25/07/2021 15:57

My neighbour told me years ago she had seen a post I had commented on and asked if it was me.
It was very identifying but nothing I wouldn't have discussed with her.
She didn't tell me her username, so I couldn't AS her 😉😂😂

Mamette · 25/07/2021 15:57

It would depend who they are tbh. A friend, no, I wouldn’t read their posts.

An ex-boss or something… maybe 😈

SmileyClare · 25/07/2021 16:00

Mumsnet has an average 1.3 billion page views and millions of users. For that reason, I think it's very unlikely to spot your friend on here.

Unless the poster give their name and address, I can't think of any situation in a thread that would be unique to one person?

Original poster
Samosamo · 25/07/2021 16:01

What if it were your exDP's new partner? Of your DP's ex? Or your MIL?! Or your boss at work?

Not just your neighbour or someone, but someone's who's life you might very well be interested in, rightly or wrongly?!

OP posts:
Siameasy · 25/07/2021 16:13

I have and I read their posts Grin

DeflatedGinDrinker · 25/07/2021 16:14

I have! A lady telling people how she does art schemes with children and named the area. Then I realised her MN name was my childs old art group leaders nickname. One that she goes by on her advertisements that makes her sound fun. I made a comment only she would know, about her nickname, and she changed her username 😆

DrSbaitso · 25/07/2021 16:17

I've seen quite a few posts and threads that I could have written, but didn't.

The userbase is huge. I really wouldn't be too sure that you've found someone in particular.

SionnachRua · 25/07/2021 16:20

Oh yes, clocked a twat parent from the school I work in being a twat on a school related thread! The complaint was so specific (although it had been twisted slightly to fit her agenda) and looking at some other posts just confirmed it.

I wouldn't tell her that I know who she is
and I don't look for her specifically but I have a little snicker to myself whenever I see the username.

LockdownLisa · 25/07/2021 16:23

I have to admit, I would advance search their posts. I know it would be wrong, but I'd still do it!

PamTheSpam · 25/07/2021 16:24

I wouldn't do anything unless they changed the narrative to suit their story

allycat4 · 25/07/2021 16:26

I've spotted quite a few people. It's definitely them as the threads are so specific. Some people really do include their life stories.

BlusteryLake · 25/07/2021 16:29

I have spotted one school mum on here from a couple of very specific local posts in quick succession. I didn't do anything different on MN but I didn't tell her either.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 25/07/2021 16:32

Advance search their posts to be nosey.

MoonbeamSprinkles · 25/07/2021 16:36

I name change regularly and my sister ALWAYS knows it’s me.

She’ll say ‘are you moonbeamsprinkles?’

It’s a bit of a joke with us.

I’ve never worked out who she is but to be honest I’ve never looked.

Dixiechickonhols · 25/07/2021 16:46

My most uncomfortable spot was a thread about a relative and not even relevant to the issue people being extremely rude about her children’s names. I debated if should tell her or not so she could defend herself and opted for not as I’d have been upset to read what people were saying.

newnortherner111 · 25/07/2021 16:51

I'd say nothing.

SixesAndEights · 25/07/2021 16:51

Not on here but on another site equally huge a friend guessed it was me then told someone else who I didn't like and who then kept making loaded comments about subjects I knew she must have read about. No option to change my username, I had to ask admin to delete me and lost years and years of posts. I then had to wait a bit to rejoin. It was awful.

WellTidy · 25/07/2021 16:54

A friend once asked if I was ‘WellTidy’, as she’d recognised me from one of my posts on one of the more specialist boards. I thought I might as well say yes, it was obvious that it was me. And then she said that she would do a search to find my posting history! At that stage I thought it was pointless name changing to ‘protect’ my identity on subsequent posts.

GrandTheftWalrus · 25/07/2021 16:57

I would be nosey and search their posts. But never seen anyone I know. I thought I knew someone but it was just a similar situation.

MrsMillhouse · 25/07/2021 16:59

I found a posting by a lovely lady I know: we are not close friends but have had play dates etc together. Her username and comments on a thread I posted gave it away. I then messaged her on Facebook and told her than I think I had spotted her on mumsnet just in case she wanted to change her name for privacy reasons. I’m a nosey bitch, but it just felt too intrusive.

I’ve also just discovered one of my close friends is on here: but I haven’t spotted her yet.

If she guesses this was me: we were each other’s bridesmaids