What would you do if you'd identified someone you know on here (MN)?

[Samosamo]

Would you avoid reading their posts, especially if they are personal?

Or would you read on with gluttony?!

I didn't tell her because she clearly comes here for support and I thought it would make her paranoid even if she n/c-ed. So I avoided reading anything she had posted about her kids etc.

I was identified by a friend on here once (a while ago) from my situation and my writing style. She let me know offline. It wasn't anything massively incriminating or embarrassing but it was a shock.

I changed my username but have also tried to be more careful about information which could be identifying.

I know that people have clocked me from another forum. And that my name is very 'outing'. But to me, this is how I keep myself honest, and stop myself from being a keyboard warrior.

TBH when people tell other posters off for sharing something that should be confidential I'm a bit because there are very few situations that are really unique and I'm sure most people posting things that might be identifying change a few details anyway.

I joined mumsnet not that long ago. One night I mentioned to my husband that I had joined, 5 minutes later he said... are you of all the bars 😂

My life isn't exciting enough to change my name.

I have spotted two friends on here but I didn't search for their posting history. I name change regularly because I am incapable, when over-empathising with posters, of not giving potentially identifing information!

I identified a work colleague on another forum. I sent her a message saying I'd seen her posts. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I didn't want to have to pretend I didn't know what she'd written. I didn't go looking for any of her older posts though.

I have!

I read and laugh privately. I pretend that I know nothing when I see them. One was someone at work, one from school. The funniest thing is one was obvious because of another thread about their husband's hobby! You couldn't make that up.

It would honestly depend on who it was, and how juicy the topic was tbh too

I told them and they completely denied it, and then wrote a couple of ludicrous posts to throw me off the scent.

Yep picked the OW and DCS first SM - spouting shite about me!
Never said anything but used to say to EX - Look I know you think xxx about me and my decisions.

The look on his face was priceless - I knew I had hit the spot! Sadly that turned into a I had broken into their e mails, had put microphones in their new house which I was not allowed to know where it was, put trackers on their cars!!!

It made me realise what a delusional beatch she was, also made me realise how the SM forum believes some ridiculous stuff and the EX /BM is always blamed for everything. Example, it was my fault that they could not afford to my 2 DCS on holiday with her 2DCs because I took them on holiday. What she failed to admit, 4 of them were going business class to Barbados and 6 was too expensive but 6 could have gone economy for less monies - or as my eldest said at the time we could have all gone to Spain /Devon/Wales!

I’ve found 2, because they both posted the exact same things on here and Facebook

One them was a really boring tax question, the other was a CF story, which I knew from another friend was completely true

But the CF story poster got accused of trolling, making it all up
I really wanted to defend her but couldn’t without outing myself

I had a quick skim through their previous posts, mostly to verify it was them, then promptly forgot their usernames

Don’t think I’d recognise the posters names again if I saw them, so haven’t said anything to either of them

it's one of the reasons why I name-change all the time.

One person I recognised from a group - say school parents, could have been 1 among 100, but reading through their previous posts made it clear who exactly it was.

Your hobby, plus the breed of your dog.. it really can be just enough.

@SmileyClare

Mumsnet has an average 1.3 billion page views and millions of users. For that reason, I think it's very unlikely to spot your friend on here.

Unless the poster give their name and address, I can't think of any situation in a thread that would be unique to one person?

Smileyclare, I identified someone on here because of a girl my DD knows who was going to be in the Olympics. She had been training at her grandma's house in [EU country] and the gran posted about it on here! Secondly, an old friend contacted me after she recognised something I'd written. So, there you go. Two instances.

I'd probably ask them! I don't think I'd bother to search through their post history unless I was feeling very nosy.

Someone had posted a thread of the Baby Names thread, asking opinions on an unusual name. One poster replied "That's my son's name! We named him Unusual name James, so that he could use James if he didn't like Unusual Name."

I knew someone whose son's name was Unusual name James, so I did an AS. She had posted several times about a specific breed of dog, which was the breed of her dog, so I knew it was her.

I didn't tell her, but neither did I read her posts after that. Her MN posts were warm, friendly and helpful, which is exactly what she's like in RL.

Mumsnet has an average 1.3 billion page views and millions of users. For that reason, I think it's very unlikely to spot your friend on here.

it's the timing more than anything.
If you post about a special incident at work or school, or a sporting event, people who are involved in that incident that morning will recognise it, or wonder if it's their event that is mentioned. If you search and get more details from the poster's history, then you can recognise someone.

Millions or not, if you post about an accurate event, you will have neighbours and friends in real life.

Fair enough Annacondom I must admit that's pretty unique.

I think if you did advance search a poster it'd probably be quite boring reading. Not many posters are divulging salacious secrets about their personal lives are they? I suppose you might be shocked if they held very controversial views on a subject. However, if you knew them, you'd probably be aware of those anyway.

I'd still read them, wouldn't say anything.

I'm always a bit amused when some threads get deleted by MNHQ because the Op has expressed fears they are outing.
Usually they haven't really given anything identifying away

Nothing. This is a discussion forum so I would respect that

I've spotted 2 friends on here, one had a nice username and I thought that sounds so similar to my friend's situation, then I happened to read another very specific thread and a few of the details meant I realised a) that it was her and b) that she'd put so much detail that anyone else who knew her would know it was her, she's a very intelligent woman so I think she was posting to raise awareness of some issues and maybe using a specific username for that.

Another friend I recognised due to a very specific sad event and turn of phrase she used when talking to me and then on here. I hod the thread, I was already supporting her IRL for what happened so it felt intrusive to read on.

I may have been recognised but don't post anything horrible (I think anyway!).
I have a health condition and I post about that under a specific username, a few times I have forgotten to name change abd then asked MNHQ

@SmileyClare

I'm always a bit amused when some threads get deleted by MNHQ because the Op has expressed fears they are outing. Usually they haven't really given anything identifying away

these only mean that the majority disagree with the OP, it has nothing to do with being identified in real life

Apart from a handful about a specific legal issue with neighbours, where the OP themselves apologies before reporting..

Oh I'd read every single one I could find

I would absolutely search their posts 😂 but anyone I've mentioned MN to doesn't seem familiar with it so I doubt I'll ever find anyone I know.