Partner tells everyone I was out of it when I had our daughter but I wasnt

[Cherryrainbow]

This may be a stupid thing but my partner keeps laughing and telling everyone that when I have my birth to our daughter last September I was really out of it, off my mind because of the gas n air and epidural, him and the nurses were joking about me babbling nonsense etc and this just isn't true!

It keeps bugging me because compared to my first Labour with my son, my daughters birth was easier and I thought it was lovely in comparison. Had contractions from 7am. Waters burst at 3pm. Got to hospital by 4, was barely on gas and air long until I had my epidural and from 10pm I was pushing, I had my daughter after 11 by forceps. I remember the conversations we had with the nurse, talking about the 80s music on the radio and what songs played, I remember being tired and crying when it was clear that pushing wasn't going to work and being scared (I think awkward angle down there I just couldn't get her past, same as with my first son) so I had to have forceps again and i was a bit worried. I remember the nurses and doctor being concerned about the amount of blood loss I had despite the injections they kept giving me, luckily it stopped before transfusions or other things were needed. The medication did make me throw up quite a bit so I asked my partner to have her until the anti sickness medication kicked in and it stopped but apart from being sick I was normal.

It also bugs me because after I had my eldest child I was in hospital for many days as I had an infection where I did have a fever and some hallucinations, weird dreams etc so I know what it's like to be out of it!

Anyway today he was joking about it again and I said I wasn't out of it but he kept insisting and said I wouldn't know because I was on gas and Air and epidural. I told him he was stupid because gas and air makes you lightheaded if anything and an epidural just numbs your back, and I know I wasn't out of it. So he then kept snapping at me that I was so defensive and practically barking at me asking why was I being defensive? and kept insisting his side of things so I just said yeah whatever and left the room.

Sorry its turned into quite the rant it just really bugs me.

It doesnt really matter if you were or you werent. You have told him you dont like him going around saying that, so he should stop. Not snap at you about it.

So rude of him OP. When our health visitor came to visit for the first time following my sons birth she asked me how the birth was. My partner at the time said I didn't cope well. To be fair I really didn't. But she looked him dead in the eye and said she's given you a healthy son I'd say she did amazingly. Loved her 😆 needed that

I mean, I was absolutely off my face during labour - pethidine, pain, infection and blood loss sent me flipping delirious at one point. DH has never once made fun of me or mocked me. In fact, he was very worried at the time. It must be even more frustrating to know you weren't out of it, but even if you were he shouldn't be taking the piss.

Next time you call out his BS and he accuses you of being 'defensive': Most people are defensive when they are being lied about, you lying arse.

I am sorry that you live with this man.

I laughed my head off on gas and air, everything was a huge joke. I can remember though. Even if he was right, he shouldn't be telling people, when you have asked him not to.

@Cherryrainbow

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, I was really worried it was going to sound like a silly problem.

I think I need to try and get the balls to have a conversation with him, as generally I hate confrontation and stuff like that.

Thinking things over honestly it's not just this but in general he does talk to me disrespectfully and harshly, and finds things funny that I really don't.

Oh no. Life’s too short to live like this Op. ☹️

I vividly remember which aria was being sung on classic FM when DD was born, but my DH swears it wasn't a woman singing at all. I finally emailed Classic FM and Radio 3 (just in case) for the playlist from the hour either side of her birth. DH was right, and I am still mad about it. That said, he doesn't joke about it, and he wouldn't if I said it bothered me.

I definitely felt like I was out of it when I had gas and air. I can remember some of the ridiculous things I came out with. I had a very long Labour and ended up developing infection and then emergency section.
My DH and I still laugh about some of the things I 'saw' or said and we have shared it with others.
However, the main thing here is you feel uncomfortable about what he is saying or doing so he needs to wise up and stop being so disrespectful. Tell him once he has experienced such physical trauma and stress to his body he can comment all he likes! How would he feel if you were sharing some of his most intimate and vulnerable moments with others while taking the piss about it?

@MotionActivatedDog

When he starts telling people this nonsense I would tell them “awww, DH was really freaked out when I was in labour, hyperventilating- the lot! I think this is his way of pretending it didn’t happen” respond to all his protestations by exaggerating it even more. “Come on love, you know you were shitting yourself. The midwife had to sit you on a chair by the window because you said you were going to faint! Hahah”

🤣 This