Not attending mil’s 90th party

[Happymum12345]

I know that I am being unreasonable but feel bad about it.
It’s my mother in laws 90th birthday party. We have 3 dc, 2 teens & a 9 old year old. They have spent all of school wearing masks, like everyone else, we’ve not been anywhere -restaurants etc as I have huge anxiety about covid. I have done my best to protect them without making our lives too miserable.
I spent some time last year in icu on a ventilator & had horrific time & I’m having trauma therapy for flashbacks & PTSD. I
Wasn’t there because of covid.
My mil said there would be patio doors that open and windows open, but when I checked with the venue they said there is a fire door that leads on to the car park that they can open -begrudgingly, the windows don’t open, the staff don’t wear masks & lots of them are off because they’ve been pinged. There will be 30 guests sitting in a room for 3 hours. I don’t know many of the guests, whether they’ve been jabbed or not. My dh is going to the party as is my ds. I feel bad about not going & I know that everyone there will be thinking i’m awful & neurotic, which I am. I have been jabbed but my children, obviously haven’t. I’m scared about my ds going but I’m trying to lesson the risk.

She is 90 and will not be here much longer so YABU to not enjoy her time making memories.

If your husband and child go but not you it will look like you just can't be bothered unfortunately.

@DeflatedGinDrinker

If your husband and child go but not you it will look like you just can't be bothered unfortunately.

I imagine her MiL knows that she has PTSD, and how much of a debilitating condition it is. Rather than being ignorant enough to believe that the OP “just can’t be bothered”.

Her MIL will also know that she nearly died of Covid. She was on a ventilator ffs.

Also, the OP has discussed the party arrangements with her MIL and her concerns about it. So she knows exactly why the OP won’t be coming. The OP will be seeing her the following week instead.

So of course she’ll know that it isn’t the case that the OP can’t be bothered.

@LizzieW1969

Her MIL will also know that she nearly died of Covid. She was on a ventilator ffs.

In the first post OP says I Wasn’t there because of covid She is concerned about catching covid in case she ends up back on a ventilator as that was a traumatic experience.