Second date fucking weird

[seconddateshithead]

Is this just me?!

Just went for a lovely second date with a guy from old. All good. Doesn't seem crazy or obsessed with ex.

His phone keeps pinging throughout our meal from his friend. Asking how the date is etc

He keeps saying oh I should turn this off. But he doesn't. He replies each bloody time.

End of meal. I'm thinking nice walk. Maybe chill on the terrace.

Oh my friend has asked if she can meet you. Really. It's a second date. I want to get to know you not your pissed up mates.

We walk home. But oh the bar is on the way. I say don't you just want to go home? He says oh we could just stop for one.

We get there and the barmaid brings over a drink for him. So they knew he was coming cos he'd said yes. (I get nothing cos I'm an afterthought obviously...)

I'm sure they're all lovely. But they're out celebrating with shots etc. I wanted a date with one person. Is this just weird?!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

We get there and the barmaid brings over a drink for him. So they knew he was coming cos he'd said yes. (I get nothing cos I'm an afterthought obviously...)

Hard no. And kidnap his dog too, it deserves better.

[Carboholic]

Watch Midsommar to see how such relationships go

[Pingued]

Sounds like he knows it's not going to work too. But yeah what a dick.

[pigeonpies]

Drink problem

[Shoxfordian]

I assumed he was 17 from your first post not in his 50s. Block and delete

[seconddateshithead]

Sorry I should've explained the driving better. He wasn't driving. I drove to his town. Everything was within walking distance from his place. I'd had one drink but I was on water (another reason why seeing boozed up friends wasn't exactly appealing)

To be honest there had been a few 'hmm' things from date one so this has just blown everything out. For a start his old profile said he was 48...

I just woke up to some texts saying he was sorry he had 'misread my reticence' to meet his friends. But thought we had a connection!

Thinking how to reply as he doesn't seem to get it. But also thinking hes 56. It feels a bit futile.

My only regret is that I miss Parker already!

[leafygarden42]

Hmmm - you're better off with just a new dog... just sayin'

[Livelovebehappy]

It’s only a second date. Maybe he enjoyed the first date so much he thinks you’re ‘the one’ already and is excited to show you off. I would give him the benefit of the doubt if you like him, and see what the next couple of dates bring. I think just two dates is a bit soon to make an overall decision on him yet.

[wjg65ka]

Yeah I wouldn't be keen on that

[AttaGirrrrl]

I’m torn between saying “be honest” in your reply or “just say ‘I didn’t really feel a connection’”

For reasons of this thread, I totally want you to be honest and then see his replies. For the good of OLD MNers, better to give him as little feedback as possible so that he makes similar early mistakes with the rest of us and we can dump him too.

[SleepingStandingUp]

56????? Erm, hard no. Maybe his mates are happy for him to be dating but phone should have been on silent and def no detours to hang with his mates whilst they do shots. He sounds about 21, in a bad way

[AttaGirrrrl]

Totally disagree with this. If he can’t give his undivided attention on a second date, etc is he going to be like six months in?

[theDudesmummy]

He took you to a bar to meet his mates and did not offer to get you a drink? (Even soft drink if not drinking alcohol?). I would have left there and then without comment.

[VaguelyInteresting]

No.
He wanted you to meet his mates because he thought it would make him seem younger/fun etc. He was more worried about how he looked than you felt.
Don’t bother with him. Maybe get a dog?

[TheArtfulCodger]

Just forget him. He can't go one evening with a woman he should be focusing on, without his support posse checking in every five minutes and without then having to go for a drink with his support posse. Is he Steve Wright?

So rude, he should have turned his phone off and just enjoyed his time with you, getting to know you, not smirking at his phone and texting away like a 15 year old. What a turnoff.

[Guavafish]

Poor behaviour and I don’t think this man is looking for anything serious

I wouldn’t meet him again 🚩

[MsVestibule]

The fact that he lied about his age on his profile would make me not see him again, never mind the rest of it. When and how did you find that out? Before you met up?

And talking to you through his dog? That's the sort of thing I do with my DH, not somebody I'm trying to impress!!

[happinessischocolate]

There's a large group of men who go to my local pub every single night to meet their mates and as soon as they get a woman she gets dragged there to sit round talking shit every night. And they wonder why their relationships never last and they're still single aged 40/50

I think your date was just like one of those guys who just can't stay away from his pub and his mates.

[MayorGoodwaysChicken]

Lying about his age was enough to end it immediately. No one who is trustworthy and confident and comfortable with themselves would do that. Or put it another way, he was looking to draw in women through deception. Why would you entertain someone who thinks that is acceptable?

[sophiasnail]

Does this chap date a lot? It might be that he was nervous and totally misread the situation. I'd risk a 3rd date, away from his home town, and probably in the daytime, to see whether he is a nice guy with no dating skills, or genuinely a prat.

[Notmoresugar]

You're well rid.
Unless you want to be a sat at the bar widow, whilst he's happily downing pints with his mates.
He's an immature twat.

[Ilikeknitting]

Sorry you had this experience op, but far better to find out he is a bit of a dick now than this time next year.

I’d be tempted to let him know exactly why I would not be seeing him again.

As pp point out, he should still be at the point of trying to impress you, not ignoring you or showing you off to his mates.
We all live and learn (hopefully) put him down to experience.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

is he much older than you?

[Keepthemusicgoing]

No that wasn’t about meeting his friends that was just a story to divert you so he could go and drink more. Men like that who are so regular the barmaid knows their personal drink off by heart spend a lot of time in the bar or pub and don’t like to leave it to go elsewhere. He just wanted to go to the place he likes to drink

[Queynte13]

What breed of dog is Parker?