She has a ‘Strong character’

[Meltinghere]

The way my mum describes my Dd, 3.

What would you think is meant by this? Is it really just code for ‘Naughty and hard work’

I wouldn’t care how it’s meant - I’d take it as a compliment because it think it’s good for girls to have a strong character!

hhhmmmm not necessarily, I would just think knows her own mind, knows what she wants kind of a thing?

Yes I would agree with what you’ve said

Urgh I hate this. People never describe little boys as having 'Strong Characters'.

TBH, to me it sounds like someone is trying to say your child is challenging and hard work but that may not be how the mean it. It would depend on the person who says it, how close you are and how critical you think they are I suppose?

It depends on your relationship with your mum, really. For me, if that came from someone I trusted, it would be a compliment.

I read 'strong character' as 'stubborn little madam'. I've always thought of boys who are 'active' and 'boisterous' as being stubborn little madmen. Isn't that just what 3yo are like though?

My daughter has a strong character. She is very well mannered but speaks her mind and doesn’t suffer fools. I couldn’t be prouder.

I've referred to one of my children's male friends as having a strong personality, so don't think it is necessarily a sexist label. I would use it when someone is a bit unusual and outspoken.

Big personality & stubborn I would think.

I describe my 4 year old as a strong character and I 100% mean it as a positive. She knows her own mind and can advocate for herself (age appropriately), and she is definitely a character; never a dull moment.

@LuaDipa this! Being a walkover never helps anyone

Stubborn/ obstinate. And boys do get this too. My friend’s ds was called this in parents evening, so friend asked me to decode. To be fair her ds is indeed stubborn and obstinate.

@Biancadelrioisback

Urgh I hate this. People never describe little boys as having 'Strong Characters'.

TBH, to me it sounds like someone is trying to say your child is challenging and hard work but that may not be how the mean it. It would depend on the person who says it, how close you are and how critical you think they are I suppose?

My boys are both described as strong characters. As am I.

I don't take it as an insult. I take it as I won't blindly do what I'm told. Which is a good thing IMO.

I don’t think it necessarily means anything negative. Could mean feisty and confident!

@LuaDipa

My daughter has a strong character. She is very well mannered but speaks her mind and doesn’t suffer fools. I couldn’t be prouder.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Yes, I love this. Totally agree.

I’m not sure what your Mum meant but it’s not for her, or anyone else, to define your child. I would try not to take it personally. In my experience, some grannies just want an easy child as it’s easier for them so if she was being critical that’s her problem, not yours.

Surely a lot depends on what kind of behaviour your mother prizes? My mother, for instance, has a horror of confident children, and confident adult women -- she thinks all nice children should be shy and semi-silent, only whispering 'I don't mind' at intervals, and that all women should operate on a permanent mode of self-deprecation, wear 'flattering' clothes and defer to men.

Your mother, on the other hand, might admire a strong character. (Mine would be kind of horrified that people might say that of her three daughters... )

I wouldn’t care how it’s meant - I’d take it as a compliment because I think it’s good for girls to have a strong character!
Exactly!
Even if your mum does find her a bit stubborn or whatever at least the way she puts it shows she sees it can be a positive trait, so I would assume she is just using a code.

Jailbreak42
Maybe I'm just sensitive as I've always been described that way in a negative way but my son never has and we have a lot of the same characteristics. I was also described as 'bossy', which he also is, but he is described as a 'little leader'.

• I meant I would not assume she is just using a code.

@Biancadelrioisback

Urgh I hate this. People never describe little boys as having 'Strong Characters'.

TBH, to me it sounds like someone is trying to say your child is challenging and hard work but that may not be how the mean it. It would depend on the person who says it, how close you are and how critical you think they are I suppose?

Urgh I hate this. People never describe little boys as having 'Strong Characters'

They absolutely do! The problem is that generally speaking people will say

Boy = 'Strong character'

Girl = 'Bossy little madam'

However it was meant (and the OP should really have asked her mum what she meant), it's certainly equal in terms of how boys are often described.

DD is 4 and I'd describe her as having a strong character.

She's confident, independent (age appropriately), and doesn't hesitate to express herself.

She needs to learn to handle disappointment better, but she's four, we're working on it.

It would depend on the options of your DM I think, does she think children should be seen and not heard? Does she think girls should be polite and quiet above all else? Then it's a dig. If she's more feminist it's probably a complement.

Well mannered women seldom make history.

Hmm. I have worked with people with 'strong characters '. They tend to be a bit....polarising.

I have one of these toddlers. Various people have referred to her as “a strong character” - my Mum (none of her four kids were apparently as “challenging” as my daughter), her nursery teacher, and friends. To be honest I cannot argue with them and don’t take it as an insult, it’s just a fact.

I read it as: headstrong, stubborn, confident, adventurous, bold, fiercely intelligent, independent, confrontational, contrary, and exhausting 😂 In my case anyway this is all true.

I sincerely hope it stands her in good stead for the future, I honestly think it will. All the good stuff is there, the sweetness, kindness, honesty. At least she won’t be a complete wet blanket like I was until I hit my thirties.

WorraLiberty in which case it is just me being over sensitive about it!

Sorry everyone, as you were.