She has a ‘Strong character’

[Meltinghere]

The way my mum describes my Dd, 3.

What would you think is meant by this? Is it really just code for ‘Naughty and hard work’

To me I would take it as confident and outgoing.

I’d love my little girl to be a strong character rather than a shy or quiet girl. But then in my family I don’t think there a shy or quiet one in all of us!

I’d take it as meaning she found your DD hard work, yes.

If said about an adult, would assume it meant the speaker considered the person’s behaviour to be abrasive or outspoken.

I think its a mega compliment

She said no to your mom and meant it

Boundaries are seen as a flaw in girls

My adult dd has always had a strong character and it IS hard work, but a good thing.

For example, I always knew that if she took drugs or drank it would only be because she wanted to, not just to please someone else.

It means stubborn as a mule. Almost always

@Theunamedcat

She said no to your mom and meant it

Boundaries are seen as a flaw in girls

Where have you gotten that from?

My surgeon described me as a strong character in his notes. He later changed that to wilful (in person)
What he meant was I refused a bedpan, scoffed two meals when apparently most are still waking up, walked around a lot snd asked to go home about 12hrs after a big spinal op

My daughter has a strong character. She is very well mannered but speaks her mind and doesn’t suffer fools. I couldn’t be prouder.
Ditto. When she was a toddler and I was told she has a strong character I smiled and said thank you. Its the biggest compliment you can give to a girl or parent of a daughter. it means she knows her own mind and won't take shit from anyone.

I'd take that as a compliment. Toddler DS is also referred to as a strong character.

@NotMyCat

My surgeon described me as a strong character in his notes. He later changed that to wilful (in person) What he meant was I refused a bedpan, scoffed two meals when apparently most are still waking up, walked around a lot snd asked to go home about 12hrs after a big spinal op

Well, those really are the actions of a wilful madam! Shame on you 😂

When I say it to dd about dgs I mean he's hard work, demanding and stubborn. It sounds a lot kinder. I think as grandparents we forget what our own children were like as pre schoolers. Certainly dgs seems a lot more difficult than my own children were but maybe it's more that I've forgotten most of the tricky stuff.

You're my kind of person @NotMyCat

I read it as: headstrong, stubborn, confident, adventurous, bold, fiercely intelligent, independent, confrontational, contrary, and exhausting 😂 In my case anyway this is all true

Two of mine were exactly like this - and absolutely marvellous if frequently exhausting.

I agree with the pp who said it depends on your relationship with your mum as to what it means . It’s the sort of thing my MIL used to say about our children and she hates me ( children are now adult and aren’t keen on her either )

@Saidtoomuch he told me I could ride my horse after 8 weeks so I counted the days, he was convinced I would have a great recovery being so stubborn and I sent him a pic of me jumping my horse 10 weeks post op. Which he printed out and said he stuck on his desk to remind him why he does the job
The caterers were v happy I loved the food and kept bringing me mugs of tea

Reminds me of the Bertrand Russell quote; "I am strong-minded, he is obstinate, you are pig-headed."

For me it means determined, stubborn, driven, argues the toss and doesn’t back down, likes the spotlight to be on them and doesn’t always take account of others.

My eldest son, my MIL and my boss are very strong characters. I love my son and MIL dearly but oh my word, it can be exhausting being in the company of a strong character.

I 'd take it as a compliment.

@GreyhoundG1rl

My family described my daughter like this turns out she said no to my mother when my mom pushed she looked at her firmly and stated clearly "ive told you no once do I need to tell you again?"

It can mean either your child already seems to know their own mind, what they want and they are determined to achieve whatever they’re trying to achieve or it can mean in their opinion your child is wilful and defiant.

I'd say that my DS2 was a strong character as a 3yo, meaning that he was very determined and not easily distracted. I would see it as both a criticism (it does often mean that the toddler is harder work than a more pliable child) and a compliment (I admire this trait, and think it will serve her well in the future).

Whatever she means by it, I would assume it’s not complementary.

@wishing3

I don’t think it necessarily means anything negative. Could mean feisty and confident!

Feisty and confident in a 3-year-old can sometimes mean 'a pain in the neck'.

I’d take it as a compliment although it may well have not been meant as one. It depends what your mum is like.

My FIL proudly described my son as knowing his own mind when he was not doing as he was asked but my daughter as wilful because she refused to kiss him goodbye. Strong characters are sometimes seen as bad things for girls by some people who are a bit old school. If that is at play here, be mindful of that influence.