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Original poster

She has a ‘Strong character’

142 replies

Meltinghere · 23/07/2021 15:42

The way my mum describes my Dd, 3.

What would you think is meant by this? Is it really just code for ‘Naughty and hard work’

OP posts:
TuesdayRuby · 23/07/2021 19:37

My daughter has a strong character. And she's naughty and hard work! But then so am I :) so the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.
I am proud of her strong character, but I don't for a second imagine that some people aren't referring to her behavior when they talk about her in this tone.
Like a pp said, we're working on it. How to turn that negative feistyness and determination side of her into a positive one.

MojoJojo71 · 23/07/2021 19:48

When my DD is described as having a strong character it’s usually followed by the words ‘just like her mother’ 🤣. I take it as a compliment, long may it last.

BogRollBOGOF · 23/07/2021 19:55

If I think back through my youth group to the "strong characters" they'd be assertive and confident. Maybe not the most conformist but would learn the boundaries. I wouldn't use that term for the tiny number of difficult characters we've had.

I always feel sad when our strong characters move on, they are noticible in the dynamic of the group.

Sometimes the very meek, conformist and quiet characters can be the hardest as they don't give much feedback and it's hard to get much sense of knowing them and can be draining trying to engage with them when they offer minimal interraction. They might fit well for people who live by "children should be seen and not heard" but it's not necessarily an easy or desirable personality to have through life.

SmileyClare · 23/07/2021 19:57

..we're working on it. How to turn that negative feisty determined side of her into a positive one

I applaud this attitude. There's a danger that parents excuse all "bad" uncooperative behaviour as a "strong character" and never challenge it.

There's a balance. Fitting into society is difficult if a child always stubbornly wants their own way. For example, some children get very upset at primary school when they can't always control or dictate the games at playtime and their peers exclude them. They are accustomed to getting their own way by making a fuss or crying. Being.
considerate and able to compromise is an important social skill.

A stubborn, demanding 3 year-old is rather cute but not so endearing in a 17 year-old who refuses to respect any boundaries and won't consider opinions that don't align with their own.

mistermagpie · 23/07/2021 19:58

I'd be pleased - the world we live in, she's going to need it.

It's true about the difference between boys and girls, my son is quite difficult and people always say 'ooh he's quite the character!' like it's a cute thing, with girls the tone is different and they are 'fiesty' or whatever.

EmeraldShamrock · 23/07/2021 19:59

Confident, bossy, demanding, won't be overlooked,no modesty, my DS is a strong character he is challenging.
My niece was too she is 22 finished her degree, bought her own car, starting a good career, not always a bad thing.

MaMelon · 23/07/2021 20:01

SmileyClare I agree.

Knowing your own mind is great as long as that includes knowing your own weaknesses or limitations, acknowledging when others know more than you, and being willing to learn from them and grow as a person. Many of the strong characters I’ve come across in life aren’t always very good at that.

Ozanj · 23/07/2021 20:03

It means bossy / stubborn / obstinate / so single minded that they can be difficult to distract - but the same kids with a bit of ‘charm’ are are described as determined, resiliant.

tttigress · 23/07/2021 20:07

If it was in the sense of a work colleague, I would think total a hole.

GiantToadstool · 23/07/2021 20:18

SmileyClare exactly all this!!!

You see parents who are proud of their "strong characters" that cant see how obnoxious they are!

Original poster
Meltinghere · 23/07/2021 23:32

Hmm 🤔 mixed responses…I’m a teacher too and ‘Strong character’ would most likely have meant hard work! But as posters have said, she’ll need it in this day and age!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 23/07/2021 23:34

Strong character to me is that she knows what she wants and will no have her mind changed. Not necessarily hard work but not biddable.

Your mums probably forgotten the toddler and preschool years

NotMyCat · 24/07/2021 11:34

I think it really depends. I've at times been described as stubborn, hot headed, determined etc but then also caring and great with customers 🤷🏽‍♀️
Maybe it depends which day you catch me on Grin I'm stubborn as in if something is wrong, I will argue it until the cows come home but in general I'm pretty easy going

FreeBritnee · 24/07/2021 11:39

My son certainly has a ‘strong character’. Just like his mother Grin

Flev · 24/07/2021 11:48

My 2 yr old definitely has a strong character! We generally refer to it asher being very determined but between DH and I we joke that she's inherited a double dose of stubbonness from both of us.
Long term it will be good for her that she had this determination to succeed - but in the short term it is a challenge for us as parents to help her understand she can't always have her own way, and needs to get along with others. And I suspect her teenage years could also be interesting!

AnnaSW1 · 24/07/2021 11:50

People say this about my daughter. We all take it as a compliment. She's well behaved, no issues there. She is just very strong minded. I think it's a good thing for a little girl living in s big city! Grin

emilylily · 24/07/2021 11:54

I'd take it as 'stubborn' but choose to reframe it as resilient, independent, intelligent, decisive and confident.

GiantToadstool · 24/07/2021 12:10

I think for anyone with kids like this the challenge is to ensure they understand that others are important to/that getting their way shouldn't be at all costs/and thinking about others needs. Kindness, compassion etc are important qualities too.

I've seen some children like this who then as they get a bit older don't understand why others dont want to play with them anymore.

GiantToadstool · 24/07/2021 12:11

Often the parents have just encouraged the child's self centredness 🙄

dottiedodah · 24/07/2021 12:13

I think its good for girls to have a strong character! I was described as "Headstrong".Quite pleased as I have always done my own thing and not followed the crowd. Good on your little girl!

Xmassprout · 24/07/2021 12:23

My eldest is often described as a strong character. It's because she is strong willed, stubborn and knows her own mind.

Some people find this challenging and a negative thing. Not because her behaviour is bad, but she will challenge or question many things which can be uncomfortable for some. I'm very proud of her

lifehappened · 24/07/2021 12:30

My daughter has a strong character, as do I. I think if means you tend to get what you want by being assertive. True of me and my daughter even tho she's only 9 months. It's can be a good and bad trait all at once. Passionate but hot headed I reckon

AnnaSW1 · 24/07/2021 13:39

@GiantToadstool sounds like you are referring more to mean kids rather than kids with strong character. I think you're off the mark.

GiantToadstool · 24/07/2021 13:44

Hmmm you can think that! Parents honestly are often unaware.

Maggiesfarm · 24/07/2021 13:47

It sounds good, independent and confident with great determination.

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