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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask how do working parents fit in lots of extra curricular activities?

87 replies

Musication · 23/07/2021 10:48

We've recently moved back to the UK and my DC have joined a very nice local primary school where their classmates are very busy with extra-curricular activities after school and at weekends. Just yesterday one mum was telling me between her 2 DC they have just one evening a week which doesn't have activities. My DC (age 6 & 8) used to go to an international school where pretty much everything they did was part of the school day including CCA clubs.

My DH and I both start full time work soon and I will be out the house for work, my DH partly at an office and partly at home. On his days at home he will collect them from school but will need to bring them home and carry on working while they play/eat.

Since they've started school they've both asked if they can do lots of things in September- brownies/karate/dancing/horse riding/netball etc etc. I'd love them to do it but my research tells me all this stuff seems to start early evening - by the time I'm back from work, they've done reading and homework, eaten something, I don't see how this can all fit in. DD already joined a competitive swim club who train 2-3 evening a week (after 7pm) and me and DH are able to take her to these sessions because they're a bit later. But otherwise, how do you make all this happen around the school day and around work?! Do you just have to make them choose? I've managed to find a karate class for DS on a Saturday morning but most things seem to start between 4-6pm on a weekday which is tricky for us. I think extra stuff is fabulous and I want my DC to have every opportunity but I'm just not sure how everyone does this, particularly with more than one DC.

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 25/07/2021 20:41

Indy schools here, so it happened before I picked them up.

If your DD is swimming three nights a week, I’d wait and see how tired she is. Adding in Brownies/netball/hockey/dancing/ whatever might be too much- remember by Oct half term it’s dark by 5pm and driving to clubs/sitting in the car becomes v un-fun.

BlowDryRat · 25/07/2021 20:42

I work in an office job, full-time Monday to Friday. I start work at 6.30am so that I can finish at 2pm, collect them from school and run around to different activities. I negotiated hard with my employer to make sure this could happen. I also have a, b and c childcare backup plans for the odd days when I need to stay later.

trilbydoll · 25/07/2021 20:48

I'm part time which helps, I do two school pickups a week, so Monday clubs are easy for me. On Tuesday DH starts early and finishes at 4pm to do a ridiculous succession of shuttle runs between home, after school club and Beavers/Cubs for 2dc.

Tbh too many clubs just exhausts them, having done netball on Wed and Beavers/Cubs on Tuesday they need a few days off! They're at afterschool club as well when I work full days, so I don't think a few afternoons of TV is the end of the world.

Justajot · 25/07/2021 20:51

I have my working hours arranged around activities - 3 early finishes. I also work close to home, so I can leave work and have my DC at a local activity within 30 mins.

My DD used to do 3 after school activities at school and she could then go on to the afterschool childcare until 6. Including those, she probably did about 7 extra-curricular activities a week. That was great, but disappeared with covid and I've no idea if it will come back.

LBOCS2 · 25/07/2021 20:51

We fit them in at weekends mostly, and do reciprocal favours. Dance and swimming on Saturday morning, riding on Sunday morning, cricket on Friday afternoon (i have Fridays off). Beavers is on a Wednesday night - a friend does the school pickup and takes hers and mine to beavers, I collect them and drop him home. Hoping to start instrument lessons via school so it's one less activity to fit in!

Applesandpears23 · 25/07/2021 20:57

Ask around about childminders with their own children of a similar age. We had a childminder whose own children went to a local choir so she was happy to take her mindees to the choir too.

ChocolateRiver · 25/07/2021 21:05

It’s really tricky. Our dc do a lot but we only manage because I’m part time and dh and I have VERY short commutes. We’re both teachers too (dh is a primary deputy and I’m a secondary joint head of department) so understand the commitment of after school meetings etc. I’m off on Monday/Tuesday when ds has football on Mondays and then both have swimming on Tuesdays. Dh takes dd to Acro on Wednesday for 5pm - he avoids putting meetings on this night. Then ds has cricket on Friday, but not until 6:15 so that’s ok. Plus all clubs are no more than 15-20 mins away. At weekends dd has dance which is ok because it’s just drop off/pick up and ds has footie and then either cricket or rugby depending on the time of year. It’s all quite exhausting but they love it and now we’ve started it’s difficult to get them to stop/drop something so be careful what you wish for. We’ve had to say no to some things for example dd wanted to do rainbows and ds wanted to do athletics on our only free day. They also go to breakfast club and after school club 3 days a week.

JustMarriedBecca · 25/07/2021 21:09

Flex working one night a week where they do two clubs. Plus a musical instrument where the teacher comes here. We both work FT and yeah, it's crap.

Musication · 25/07/2021 21:12

@JustMarriedBecca

Flex working one night a week where they do two clubs. Plus a musical instrument where the teacher comes here. We both work FT and yeah, it's crap.
Music teacher coming to you is a good shout. We've looked at an instrument for DD as there are some visiting teachers at her school, but obviously she's only interested in an instrument not on offer 🤔. It's great to read everyone's way around this- thanks.
OP posts:
Dozer · 26/07/2021 10:11

After school ‘babysitter’ = PT nanny. Costly if you do it ‘above board’ with tax etc

oblada · 26/07/2021 10:33

Most of our activities are after 6pm.
Judo is 6pm
Brownies and equivalent is 6 or 7pm.
They do horse riding which is anytime really depending on group etc so you can choose what suits.
They do music classes too but it's private classes and at a time we choose so 6pm.
Some activities on Saturday morning but we limit those as I like to have my weekends free. But they do in have a regular but very important term time Saturday morning activity.
They did drama up to now and it was 5pm on Fridays and that worked as DH finishes early on Fridays.
Singing classes used to be private classes so again flexibility.
So effectively - either 6pm or later, or Saturday morning or private classes.

oblada · 26/07/2021 10:34

Also my kids do music lessons via zoom. They do cello. It works very well actually. We:re in a small town so no actual teacher anywhere around.

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