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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a job I want for a lot less money?

82 replies

megahirn · 22/07/2021 02:02

NC'd for this one as it's outing to those I know.

I am in the very fortunate position of having two job offers; it's not something I've ever had before, and whilst I feel privileged, it's been doing my head in. For context, I have a physically disabled husband that can no longer work, and two small children, so the income falls on me. I live rurally and have ties here, the job market is normally hospitality or retail unless you're a doctor etc, with a few small exceptions.

Job one is the one I want, it's mentally stimulating which is something that I love, it's not retail or hospitality, it's something I'd be so happy doing. Problem is, it's 16 hours across three days. I could find a second job in hospitality, but I've had two jobs before and it can be a nightmare for rotas, annual leave etc. I'd be financially worse off, but happier. There's also long-term chance for career progression, but that's not guaranteed.

Job two is a full time retail job, it's the best paying retail job here and it's something that isn't affected seasonally; many people here lose hours during the winter in this sort of job, whereas this job is the exception. We'd be better financially off, but I will be devastated to turn down job one. It has no chance of progression, the manager will be there for at least another 20 years.

I was told that there will be a full time vacancy for job one in three years when someone there retires, but that's an awful long time to wait. The second job I get to supplement my income will be affected seasonally, so I will be financially worse off in the winter.

Job one is the first vacancy I've seen here since I've lived here (years) that excites me. It seems like my chance to do something that I will like. However, job two obviously makes us more financially secure, and I do feel very selfish to put my wants above the family's needs. DH thinks I should take the full time one, my friend says to put my happiness first and take job one, but then she's not paying my bills. What job would you take? AIBU to even consider job one?

OP posts:
CustardyCreams · 22/07/2021 02:37

I’d take the first one, and cross my fingers that something shifts and I can increase hours there, or get lucky with a good seasonal job.

Namechangeforthisquestion7 · 22/07/2021 02:39

Take job 1, absolutely no question. Life is too short to miss out on things that make you happy. You can top up your income with a second job if necessary, but if they say someone else is retiring in a few years they might well find more and more use for you leading up to that. Good luck with it!

Bargebill19 · 22/07/2021 02:51

Job 1.
Is there anyway you would be entitled to some benefits? UC? Something to help make up the short fall in the leaner times. (Awkwardly written sorry)

PrincessNutella · 22/07/2021 03:16

The first job is only sixteen hours a week? Spread out over three days? That is tremendously impractical, especially if you are the family breadwinner. Could you see if you could negotiate it down to 16 hours over two days and get another job that would give you at least three full days of work? You need to make enough money to support your family.

Oceanbliss · 22/07/2021 03:18

Ultimately it is your decision. However, I experienced this same choice between two jobs. I chose the job that I was excited about over the job with better pay. While I am grateful for the experience I had, everything that I learnt and the people I worked with, I wish I had taken the better paid job. Financial hardship is very stressful and can have long term impacts.

Try to make a pros and cons list of both jobs. Try to be objective. Then make your decision.

Good luck Smile

fourminutestosavetheworld · 22/07/2021 03:25

I don't really see it as a plausible choice as Job 1 is only 16 hours and can't pay enough to support your family. I personally wouldn't want to take a second job and the fact that Job 1 necessitates this would make it significantly less attractive to me.

FirstStarToTheRight · 22/07/2021 03:53

Job one, it may open more doors or allow you to spring board to similar others in the future if you take a long term view. Short term views are by definition more limiting.

Well done you for having two openings and I wish you all the best. Please update us how it all turns out.

choli · 22/07/2021 04:24

Where do you live that you can support a family on 16 hours of work a week?

MistySkiesAfterRain · 22/07/2021 04:24

I agree could you negotiate to turn job one into a win win, condense the hours.

FirstStarToTheRight · 22/07/2021 04:27

@choli

Where do you live that you can support a family on 16 hours of work a week?
Working tax credits?
Chickmad · 22/07/2021 04:43

Run both scenarios through a benefits checker (turn2us are a good one) to make sure that you are getting all help available..

Does you husband get disability benefits, can you get carers allowance with job 1 as it has fewer hours?

You may find the financial difference is not as much as you expect once you factor in Universal credit and any help you can get.

Whilst I appreciate that the income earning now falls to you, you still need to bear in mind that you have 2 small children, all the responsibilities of the home and more than likely helping your husband, so perhaps fewer hours but more stimulation is exactly what you need. And perhaps all that can be expected of you whilst the children are small unless you have a fantastic support system around the help you?

AdriannaP · 22/07/2021 04:47

In your situation take job 2. Financial security with 2 children is incredibly important. Sorry it doesn’t excite you, but you are the breadwinner and have responsibilities.

harverina · 22/07/2021 04:49

@Chickmad

Run both scenarios through a benefits checker (turn2us are a good one) to make sure that you are getting all help available..

Does you husband get disability benefits, can you get carers allowance with job 1 as it has fewer hours?

You may find the financial difference is not as much as you expect once you factor in Universal credit and any help you can get.

Whilst I appreciate that the income earning now falls to you, you still need to bear in mind that you have 2 small children, all the responsibilities of the home and more than likely helping your husband, so perhaps fewer hours but more stimulation is exactly what you need. And perhaps all that can be expected of you whilst the children are small unless you have a fantastic support system around the help you?

I agree with this ^^

Also to add - job 2 gives financially security, which is incredibly important, your happiness is also important. You’ve said that a job like job 1 hasn’t come up for years, so I think you need to give serious consideration to it.

If you could pay the bills with job 1, even though it is a struggle, I would go for that. 3 years may seem like a long time but it’s really not.

FirstStarToTheRight · 22/07/2021 04:51

Your children will fly the nest, you need to consider your future after that, as well as the care of them and your husband.

Original poster
megahirn · 22/07/2021 05:02

@choli @FirstStarToTheRight

I said that I would get a second job too.

OP posts:
Oblomov21 · 22/07/2021 05:12

Hmm. Job 1.
3 years sounds like a long time till person leaves, but it's not. Can you manage on the money in the meantime?

Rina66 · 22/07/2021 05:16

I'm assuming that the 3 days with Job 1 would be between Monday to Friday, whereas the retail/hospitality job 2 would involve evenings and weekends?

I'd take job 1 and get a weekend/evening job to supplement - you were going to be doing those hours anyway and they're the hardest hours to fill with experienced adults who can manage the younger students who make up a huge chunk of that workforce.

Congratulations on the two job offers, you're obviously very employable so you'll easily get a second part time job.

Pickapicket · 22/07/2021 05:24

As others said try to get job one to condense the hours to two days a week to make a second job more viable.

You will be more productive working 2 x 8.5 hour days or at a push 2 x 7 hours plus one morning at 3 hours than 6 ish hours spread over three days.

Some employers have unrealistic expectations on the level of cover achievable for very little reward.

Nappyvalley15 · 22/07/2021 05:33

Job 2.

FirmlyRooted · 22/07/2021 05:55

Job 2. It'll be too stressful to manage logistics and family finances on Job 1

SarahBellam · 22/07/2021 06:05

Is take job one and then look for another part time job in the evenings. You’d be mad to turn down one with a chance of progression.

Frenchfancy · 22/07/2021 06:09

Job 1 would allow a future for you rather than just earning money for the family.

TidyDancer · 22/07/2021 06:20

I've been utterly miserable in jobs before and it's soul destroying so my instinct is to take the job you really want. But you have people depending on you and when that's the case, financial security counts for a lot more.

How sure are you that you'll be able to get a second job? 16 hours is really not much when you have the responsibility of being the family breadwinner.

You need to consider if the next three years on a low/unstable income is viable. I'm assuming your DH is unlikely to be able to work again from what you've said so it sounds like there's a lot of pressure on you.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 06:20

Can you afford to take job one? I'm in the same situstion myself, but I wouldn't personally and I'm sorry but i think the suggestion of expecting other tax payers to fund someone working 16 hours when they're capable of full time work is outrageous.

Sometimes, it's just not your time to get what you want.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 06:22

And there's no guarantee that job will be available in three years - a lot can happen in that time.