Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To take a job I want for a lot less money?

82 replies

megahirn · 22/07/2021 02:02

NC'd for this one as it's outing to those I know.

I am in the very fortunate position of having two job offers; it's not something I've ever had before, and whilst I feel privileged, it's been doing my head in. For context, I have a physically disabled husband that can no longer work, and two small children, so the income falls on me. I live rurally and have ties here, the job market is normally hospitality or retail unless you're a doctor etc, with a few small exceptions.

Job one is the one I want, it's mentally stimulating which is something that I love, it's not retail or hospitality, it's something I'd be so happy doing. Problem is, it's 16 hours across three days. I could find a second job in hospitality, but I've had two jobs before and it can be a nightmare for rotas, annual leave etc. I'd be financially worse off, but happier. There's also long-term chance for career progression, but that's not guaranteed.

Job two is a full time retail job, it's the best paying retail job here and it's something that isn't affected seasonally; many people here lose hours during the winter in this sort of job, whereas this job is the exception. We'd be better financially off, but I will be devastated to turn down job one. It has no chance of progression, the manager will be there for at least another 20 years.

I was told that there will be a full time vacancy for job one in three years when someone there retires, but that's an awful long time to wait. The second job I get to supplement my income will be affected seasonally, so I will be financially worse off in the winter.

Job one is the first vacancy I've seen here since I've lived here (years) that excites me. It seems like my chance to do something that I will like. However, job two obviously makes us more financially secure, and I do feel very selfish to put my wants above the family's needs. DH thinks I should take the full time one, my friend says to put my happiness first and take job one, but then she's not paying my bills. What job would you take? AIBU to even consider job one?

OP posts:

Original poster

megahirn · 22/07/2021 19:48

For all of you that have asked; DH can't work (even part time), he has to do his best watching DC2 whilst I'm at work but it's hard for him. I am his career officially. He doesn't get LCWRA (might apply for it however) but he does get other disability benefits. I have to do the brunt of the housework as he can't do it whilst watching DC2, he's in constant pain and exhaustion.

I think a concern of mine is ever getting a mortgage. I think it'd be incredibly hard for us to ever get one, given that we're always going to be on one wage. We currently have a council house.

OP posts:

Original poster

megahirn · 22/07/2021 19:49

@Cam2020 ohh, that's fine, I thought it was aimed at me. Apologies.

OP posts:

Dozer · 22/07/2021 19:50

Agree with most PPs that since you’re the sole earner with young DC your choices are limited. If you don’t want to leave your current location for somewhere with more job options, and your H won’t be able to earn an income, FT would be the sensible choice.

TwoLeftElbows · 22/07/2021 20:00

See if Job 2 will negotiate on hours so you could do them both.

It reads as if you have already decided you can make Job 1 work though. I would have thought trying to pick up 20 hours a week of more casual work would be hard and stressful though. Are you sure you are taking enough account of the upsides of Job 2?

Bargebill19 · 22/07/2021 20:09

One of the advantages of job1 is the hours. You have an awful lot on your plate op, I wonder if full time would be too much a year down the line. Also an advantage of two jobs is that if one gets too much or you get laid off, you haven’t gone straight down to nothing at all. Plus you don’t get bored (I likely for you I know).
The other advance of job 1 is the training. You may be offered or want a house swap in the future - that training could prove invaluable.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 20:59

The OP has indicated that her husband cannot work as he has a physical disability. Surely the fact that she is working 16 hours is sufficient on top of being a carer / looking after two children.

Not when she has been offered a full time job. I am currently caring for my partner who is severely disabled (talking bed bound) whilst WFH full time at the moment and acting as sole parent to our daughter. It's stressful but I'd never dream of takkng the piss out of the system. I'm capable lf working and providing for my family, therefore i do. That's my responsibility, not every other tax payer, who might be earning minimum wage and just about surviving.

TheHateIsNotGood · 22/07/2021 21:08

Job 1, hands down - it's hard enough finding and keeping any job when you have additional caring responsibilities, let alone what you have to deal with on a daily basis.

The least you can do for yourself is get a job that you enjoy with the possibilities of keeping it at the same time as keeping on top of everything else.

Good luck OP

JSL52 · 22/07/2021 21:18

Job 1.
You never know what might happen with the manager and the person due to retire.
I've worked places I've thought people would never leave and they have.

harverina · 22/07/2021 22:06

@Cam2020

The OP has indicated that her husband cannot work as he has a physical disability. Surely the fact that she is working 16 hours is sufficient on top of being a carer / looking after two children.

But the FT job isn’t a job that would make her happy.

As I said I have always worked full time but I wouldn’t ever consider a carer working part time to be someone ripping the piss out of the system. How is it any different to parents working part time to fulfil childcare commitments.

Plus the OP has said clearly on numerous occasions that she would look for a second job to subsidise her income - my point was simply that she should do an income
Maximisation exercise and see if she maybe doesn’t have to. The OP is clearly not someone who is looking to shirk her responsibilities.

harverina · 22/07/2021 22:12

[quote megahirn]@Annasgirl job 1 I'm fortunate enough to be offered, giving that I have no qualifications for it. In a city, I'd definitely need qualifications. It gives you qualifications as you work there (contractually I have to do them), which allows for progression. [/quote]
So training will be available on top of a role you are interesting in, with opportunities for development down the line. For me it’s obvious - providing you can make ends meet without stressing yourself too much.

In terms of hourly rate, does job 1 pay more?

If you feel you could afford it I would go for it. You have an awful lot on your plate and reduced hours might work out well for you given your caring responsibilities.

I’m quite shocked that others view claiming benefits as being an issue. I would totally understand if you were shirking your responsibilities, are lazy etc. That’s clearly not the case at all and I really do feel that the benefits system is in place to support people in your situation OP.

Could you access a welfare rights device or similar to find out what your options are? Please do not feel guilty about doing this.

CabotCoveBeforeBros · 22/07/2021 22:28

Don't run yourself into the ground OP. Having a disabled partner isn't always easy (I say that as a disabled person, before anyone bites) and having the responsibility of being sole breadwinner is hard enough in a job you love, but doing a job you hate..

If you take a second job to supplement the first and ensure all the options for benefit levels are up to date then I think you are being perfectly reasonable.

Sportysporty · 22/07/2021 22:35

Job 1 with another part time job x there will be lots of vacancies in hospitality for the next couple of years and employers who will have to be more flexible due to labour shortages/pingdemic etc - you won't struggle to get extra hours x

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 23:12

*As I said I have always worked full time but I wouldn’t ever consider a carer working part time to be someone ripping the piss out of the system. How is it any different to parents working part time to fulfil childcare commitments.

Because they normally have a partner who is the breadwinner.

Goodness, read the thread! I haven't said she was, that was in response to other posters who have suggested turning down a FT job and relying on benefits.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 23:13

It's a three page thread, not War and Peace - surely not that difficult to read!

Bargebill19 · 22/07/2021 23:31

@Cam2020. I’m so sorry that I suggested looking to see if UC would help the op. Ive always understand this is exactly the sort of situation benefits would be if use. That and total unemployment.
Why? Because being a carer is hard work and a thankless task as and paying out a small weekly sim is cheaper for the state than paying for the cared for person to have state paid carers or enter a care home. Ditto for the kids if they ended up in care.
It’s not ripping the piss out of the system. It’s cheaper for the system to pay top up benefits to someone in op position, than have the state having to step in and ‘replace’ her.
Not everyone is in the same situation as yourself and able to make life work for them As a carer yourself you should be aware of this.

Sportysporty · 22/07/2021 23:47

Longer term job 1 offers the op the chance to progress and earn more - as her kids go to school she will be able to come off in work benefits and pay tax. Plus retail longer term is a dying carer with a high chance of redundancy especially as she has caring reponsablities which would obviously be more sustainable with job 1 until the children are in school full time.

Not everything 'obvious' in the short term makes long term sense for the op or the tax payer

ElizabethTudor · 22/07/2021 23:53

I like PP’s suggestions of seeing if you can condense the 16 hours to two days rather than three, to give you more flexibility for a second job.
But I do think if the job 1 opportunities just don’t come up, then take it. It’s very important to do something satisfying and enjoyable. Obviously bills need to be paid too. Hence the exploring about condensing the hours.

harverina · 23/07/2021 00:08

@Cam2020

It's a three page thread, not War and Peace - surely not that difficult to read!

I have read the thread thanks. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to have missed 🤷‍♀️

You said earlier that asking taxpayers to fund someone to work 16 hours when they can work FT is outrageous.

We clearly have different views - I don’t think it is outrageous for someone with the OP’s responsibilities to work part time and have some additional support.

OliviaNewtAndJohn · 23/07/2021 00:18

In your personal circumstances, job 1 will be a better balance right now as your caring responsibilities are heavily loaded. And you sound exited and enthusiastic about the role. Stay alert to opportunities to up your hours once you start. I’m in a ‘job 1’ type role where a promotion to a more senior Internal role was in the pipeline for 2020, but Covid has pushed it back, and it is now unlikely to happen before q4 2021. I’m at final interview stage for a full time position outside the organisation, and will leave to take that if offered. Always keep your options open.

Ariela · 23/07/2021 00:44

Will job 2 be able to offer you a part time option?
Will job one be able to pay you more or to work 2 x 8 hour days?

MrsWooster · 23/07/2021 08:06

People talking about taking the piss with reference to benefits disgust me. The welfare state is a wonderful institution and I fervently believe it is designed to support people to live a full and productive life, not a subsistence bread-and-water life. I can’t think of a better use of the welfare state than to support a family through a period of crisis while they get themselves on their feet then spend the rest of their life paying back into the system to support others in similar situations.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 23/07/2021 08:19

@MrsWooster

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

You're not unreasonable to want to take job 1 OP. If you think you can make it work I'd go for it. It's not only a chance for you to be happier at work it could lead to a better full time job and help you all in the long run.

singleagain22 · 23/07/2021 08:23

Does your budget balance with job 1?
If so, it's a no brainer. Especially with your extra responsibilities at home.

worktrip · 23/07/2021 09:34

Take the job you want and look at buying your council house. I doubt you will ever be in a position to get a mortgage

Dozer · 23/07/2021 10:19

Will unpaid study be required for job 1 to get the qualifications you’d be contractually obliged to seek? Is there an estimated time commitment?

Have you investigated the likely impact on benefits etc of both options?

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread