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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a job I want for a lot less money?

82 replies

megahirn · 22/07/2021 02:02

NC'd for this one as it's outing to those I know.

I am in the very fortunate position of having two job offers; it's not something I've ever had before, and whilst I feel privileged, it's been doing my head in. For context, I have a physically disabled husband that can no longer work, and two small children, so the income falls on me. I live rurally and have ties here, the job market is normally hospitality or retail unless you're a doctor etc, with a few small exceptions.

Job one is the one I want, it's mentally stimulating which is something that I love, it's not retail or hospitality, it's something I'd be so happy doing. Problem is, it's 16 hours across three days. I could find a second job in hospitality, but I've had two jobs before and it can be a nightmare for rotas, annual leave etc. I'd be financially worse off, but happier. There's also long-term chance for career progression, but that's not guaranteed.

Job two is a full time retail job, it's the best paying retail job here and it's something that isn't affected seasonally; many people here lose hours during the winter in this sort of job, whereas this job is the exception. We'd be better financially off, but I will be devastated to turn down job one. It has no chance of progression, the manager will be there for at least another 20 years.

I was told that there will be a full time vacancy for job one in three years when someone there retires, but that's an awful long time to wait. The second job I get to supplement my income will be affected seasonally, so I will be financially worse off in the winter.

Job one is the first vacancy I've seen here since I've lived here (years) that excites me. It seems like my chance to do something that I will like. However, job two obviously makes us more financially secure, and I do feel very selfish to put my wants above the family's needs. DH thinks I should take the full time one, my friend says to put my happiness first and take job one, but then she's not paying my bills. What job would you take? AIBU to even consider job one?

OP posts:

Wjevtvha · 22/07/2021 06:26

It depends on how much it effects you financially really and how stressful the less money and second job would be. I recently had a scenario similar to this and chose the less hours job but the stress of worrying about money anc trying to fit in earning money other ways around it spoilt the enjoyment of the first job and I’ve ended up changing jobs

WeepingKitten · 22/07/2021 06:27

I'm afraid this is a time when the head must rule the heart. You are the main provider for your family. You don't have the luxury of taking a lower paid job. It would not take much for most of us to slide into poverty. You will be grateful for the regular hours in the winter. I live in a rural area with few jobs. I loose hours in the winter but I am in a more fortunate position that some people I work with. I dont have to worry so much about money and can enjoy more free time. Even with UC on top, some struggle. I suspect one work friend can't always afford to eat. She is a proud, very hard working single mother who's situation goes from manageable to very hard during the winter months.

Greenwateringcan · 22/07/2021 06:29

I’d take job 2 and keep an eye for the manager job in job 1 coming up.

Trying to do 2 jobs is a killer because you end up with weird days off if at all and leave is a nightmare.

GreenWillow · 22/07/2021 07:08

Take job one, and try to negotiate job 2 to be part time hours to fit around it?

I have to agree with a pp though, poverty is utterly miserable, even with a job you love.

Katefoster · 22/07/2021 07:13

I would take job 2 for 3 years until the full time position came up then I'd apply for job 1

araiwa · 22/07/2021 07:15

@Katefoster

I would take job 2 for 3 years until the full time position came up then I'd apply for job 1

This is the obvious answer

Whatinthelord · 22/07/2021 07:23

If you can survive on the wage from job 1 (alongside whatever realistic wage you might get from a second PT job), without being in financial danger then take it.

However if it is a case of job 1 meaning that you are in a difficult position and struggling to cover your monthly outgoings then I would go for job 2.

I’d have to put basic financial security first and then look at other options for jobs over the coming years.

Obviously the choice would be dependent on things like….
*do you have saving you could rely on if the plan for job 1 and a PT job didn’t work out
*do you have family that would financially help if you couldn’t cover the bills
Etc

I’ve never had masses of savings/assets or family that could help so the choice would have always been job 2 for me.

SmokeyDevil · 22/07/2021 07:52

@Katefoster

I would take job 2 for 3 years until the full time position came up then I'd apply for job 1

This.

Job one won't remain a happy job if you're going there knowing you still don't have enough money to pay bills and you're worse off. Neither of the jobs sound like they pay an awful lot anyway, so you would accepting a very low paid job over a low paid job. You are putting your wants over your family needs. You'll be stressed too from the lack of money and you may not get a second job at all. You're screwed then.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/07/2021 08:15

Job 2 with no hesitation. You have two children to support not to mention another adult. Sixteen hours isn’t going to anywhere near cover those costs so how would you live?

SwanShaped · 22/07/2021 08:16

Have you done job 1 before?

Original poster

megahirn · 22/07/2021 09:10

@Cam2020 as I said, I wouldn't only be working 16 hours, as I'd get a second job.

OP posts:

SwanShaped · 22/07/2021 09:18

How easy are the retail type jobs to get? As in, could you give it a go with job 1 and then if it doesn’t work out get a job 2 type job. Also, what is job 1? I’m very curious to know. Have you done it before? Is it all you hope it to be?

MrsWooster · 22/07/2021 09:23

Job 1. Three years is nothing in the greater scheme of things and in the meantime yes, get a weekend /evening job and encourage DH to look at options to wfh or retrain in something suitable as well. Your happiness matters.

SmokeyDevil · 22/07/2021 09:23

[quote megahirn]@Cam2020 as I said, I wouldn't only be working 16 hours, as I'd get a second job. [/quote]
Can you guarantee a second job? That works around the hours you already do? You said in your op that it would be very difficult.

MrsWooster · 22/07/2021 09:25

Also it may be that job 1 could extend as retiring person looks to reduce hours prior to retirement?

Saltyslug · 22/07/2021 09:43

I’d take job 1 and supplement with job 2. See the two jobs as a spring board for progression and part of a longer term plan

Saltyslug · 22/07/2021 09:47

Try if possible to get set days for both jobs even if job 2 requires working every Saturday.

You can make up the shortfall in pay by working a few extra hours

GoWalkabout · 22/07/2021 09:51

I would reluctantly take the full time, unless you can make up the earnings straight away with other work. Because you're the breadwinner and that's what breadwinners have to do. Are you sure you are not looking at job one through rose tinted spectacles? It seems barely worth it split over three days unless that really suits your schedule.

Lucillegoldenring · 22/07/2021 10:02

16 hours is considered part time so you would be entitled to UC as well. Your husband could possibly get the disability benefit on it.
Tbh you would possibly be better on the part wage wage with benefits top up then full time retail. Use a benefits checker and see what you would be entitled to and go from there.

yourestandingonmyneck · 22/07/2021 10:36

What is the discrepancy in pay? And how much do you need to support your family?

It's hard to say without knowing the difference in pay, or what job 1 is, but I would be tempted to take job 1 and then be creative about how to earn more on the side. Can you husband do any sort of part time work from home? Would job 1 be flexible on your hours to allow you to work a second part time job?

Essentialironingwater · 22/07/2021 13:49

Can you survive on job 1 in the winter? If so, take it. It sounds like you need something for you!

Annasgirl · 22/07/2021 14:05

You really would need to show us the figures to see what we would advise. Is there a huge difference in pay?

Also, is job 1 a career job which you are trained to do but you can only get on the ladder with 16hours or is it a non professional job (I mean with no qualifications needed) but stimulating?

I recently had to decide not to progress in a role I wanted as it would not pay me to be there. I am still in a role I don't love as much - but the pay makes up for it.

As others have said, it depends on how much of the long term family income is on you - could your DH take any kind of work to supplement you? (I have no idea but I am just throwing it out there).

Good luck with the job whichever you choose and well done.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2021 16:57

@megahirn I know you didnt say that and my comment wasn't aimed at you at all but the posters who have made that suggestion and seem to think that's OK.

harverina · 22/07/2021 17:14

As someone who works full time and always have, I think our benefits system is absolutely designed for people with circumstances similar to the OP’s.

The OP has indicated that her husband cannot work as he has a physical disability. Surely the fact that she is working 16 hours is sufficient on top of being a carer / looking after two children.

The other issue is mental health - the OP has a lot to deal with by the sounds of her original post and a more fulfilling job might mean less likely to take time off stressed etc.
(OP I’m mindful that you might come back and say that your husbands disability doesn’t require you to be his carer)

Original poster

megahirn · 22/07/2021 19:44

@Annasgirl job 1 I'm fortunate enough to be offered, giving that I have no qualifications for it. In a city, I'd definitely need qualifications. It gives you qualifications as you work there (contractually I have to do them), which allows for progression.

OP posts:

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