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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I right or is husband

87 replies

Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:07

I had a job interview today at a supermarket.

Really want the job. Nothing much but something to get me out of the house

Husband begged me not to go as he was worried about covid. He also said he didn't know why I had to get a job in the school holidays as it ruins it for the kids and now he can't make any plans.

I got a snotty phone message saying my youngest was crying and would be sat in the gym till I came back. I called them on my walk to the interview and he was fine and excited.

I did the interview, came home had to go straight upstairs for a shower and to change my clothes. I am also not allowed in close contact to him for 48 hours until I have had a negitive LFT test on weds.

I will say we have a high covid rate in our area

He has said I should get a job but as a dinner lady that I can work around school hours and have the holidays off with the kids and be here when they go and when they come back from school.

I want to add I always wear a mask and wash my hands. I kept my distance from everyone.

OP posts:
WorldsBestBoss · 19/07/2021 22:09

Does he work?

Fullofglee · 19/07/2021 22:09

Is he always this controlling? I'm a swimming teacher in contact with several children my dh wouldn't go on like this.

Nicknacky · 19/07/2021 22:10

You know his reaction is not normal, right?

I’m not one to shout controlling but he absolutely is. Is he normally like this?

MotionActivatedDog · 19/07/2021 22:11

He has said I should get a job but as a dinner lady that I can work around school hours and have the holidays off with the kids and be here when they go and when they come back from school.

For that alone I’d be tempted to get a full time job with an hour each way commute. How generous of him to allow you to work during school hours and term time only!! Hmm

Rainbowqueeen · 19/07/2021 22:15

Congrats on the interview OP. I hope you get the job.
Has he always been this way about covid? If not then I’d say he is just being controlling.

If it has always stressed him can you find some stats etc to allay his fears. Are you both vaccinated? I can’t think of any cases of transmission in supermarkets where they have been locked down.
The school holidays thing is just him being selfish. Ignore that.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/07/2021 22:16

He sounds either nuts, or really controlling, I'm going to go with really controlling.

OneHundredTrees · 19/07/2021 22:17

Was he supportive at all? Or just made it about himself?

Good luck with the job OP.

billy1966 · 19/07/2021 22:18

I hope you get the job and have a think about that twat you are married to, who has all those opinions on what you should be doing🙄

uktrippin · 19/07/2021 22:19

Sorry what? Who was in the gym?

That aside, how fucking dare he? You go get any job you want, do anything you want.

NailsNeedDoing · 19/07/2021 22:19

Is he irrational about everything to do with covid, or is it only now that you want a job? Either way, it’s not normal.

ILoveYouILoveYouIDo · 19/07/2021 22:20

I work in a supermarket and have done, the whole way through the pandemic. I think your husband is being irrational. I bet he's using covid as an excuse. It sounds as though he doesn't want to take on his lions share of the childcare/house work. Good luck and I hope you get the job

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 19/07/2021 22:20

You aren't allowed near your husband without a LFT because you went to a supermarket?

That's insane if I'm understanding your post correctly. Are there any mental health problems involved?

thebeesknees123 · 19/07/2021 22:22

You are more likely to catch covid in a school than a supermarket

Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:23

He works from home but for an hour a dha if that

Yes he is double jabbed my appointment is on the 12th

He has always been this way. Ever since the first lockdown. His dad works away from home and he has to the same when he comes home

We live with my MIL ane fil.

Youngest son was looking out of window waiting for me to come back

OP posts:
JungleBeats · 19/07/2021 22:24

What does he do when you need food ?

Cam2020 · 19/07/2021 22:24

He's a controlling dick. Even more impetus to get a job - and one that you want, not what one that he prescribes.

Hope the interview went well.

Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:25

@JungleBeats

What does he do when you need food ?
Uses click and collect
OP posts:
Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:26

@Cam2020

He's a controlling dick. Even more impetus to get a job - and one that you want, not what one that he prescribes.

Hope the interview went well.

Thank you. I think so just waiting to hear
OP posts:
Nicknacky · 19/07/2021 22:26

What was he like pre covid?

ineedaholidaynow · 19/07/2021 22:26

He works an hour a day?

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/07/2021 22:27

That’s all very controlling manipulative behaviour from him. It’s not how a loving dh would behave.

Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:27

@Nicknacky

What was he like pre covid?
Fine. No problem. Could do what I wanted. Now no chance 😢
OP posts:
Nicknacky · 19/07/2021 22:28

Is he vulnerable (not that that excuses this level of control)?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 19/07/2021 22:29

He doesn't want to look after his own children.

Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 19/07/2021 22:30

@Nicknacky

Is he vulnerable (not that that excuses this level of control)?
Yes. He is overweight but that's all
OP posts: