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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not pick up the peas?

526 replies

inpixiehollow · 19/07/2021 11:03

We were invited out yesterday for sunday lunch with my MIL and her 94 year old mother. We went to a local pub, me and my partner, MIL, partners grandma and our 11 month old daughter.
I hadn't been to the pub before but wasn't impressed with it, the food wasn't great and the pub needed a good clean everywhere but we made the best of it wanting to be polite. We all had a carvery and I shared some of mine onto my daughters plate including peas. When we were done there was some mess left under the highchair (honestly not much at all, some very small bits of meat and peas) MIL's mum remarked that our daughter had made such a mess. I replied that it would only take a few minutes for them to sweep/hoover it up but she seemed horrified I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food. I should add that the pub was almost empty too so no reason why the staff wouldn't have time to quickly tidy up. Having worked in hospitality I wouldn't have expected parents to bother about this small amount of food on the floor? I wiped down the highchair and the table where she had left gravy/mashed potato but left the, at the most 10 peas on the floor.. WIBU?

OP posts:

soirritating · 19/07/2021 15:53

What if they drop a few peas that you haven't noticed? Babies can be sneaky like that.....

MaMelon · 19/07/2021 15:55

What if they drop a few peas that you haven't noticed? Babies can be sneaky like that

Then you check before you leave. A bit like checking that you've paid the bill, haven't left your bag or coat on the seat, the things most people do - y'know, basic stuff like that.

soirritating · 19/07/2021 15:57

@MaMelon

What if they drop a few peas that you haven't noticed? Babies can be sneaky like that

Then you check before you leave. A bit like checking that you've paid the bill, haven't left your bag or coat on the seat, the things most people do - y'know, basic stuff like that.

I don't look all around under the table though before I leave a place. Quick scout around, yeah. Pick up / wipe up any obvious mess, of course. But if a lone pea had found its way under the table .... it might get missed. 🤷‍♀️

OddsNSodsBitsNBobs · 19/07/2021 15:58

@inpixiehollow is this one of those silly reverse threads? Instead was MIL embarrassed that you went under the table to clean up? Trying to understand your thinking 🤔

soirritating · 19/07/2021 15:59

@MaMelon

Yes because making sure you have your personal belongings like coat and bag is the same as scouring every part of the floor for peas. 🤔

soirritating · 19/07/2021 16:05

while I certainly would not leave a huge mess under the table, neither would I be cleaning the floor to the standard that I would expect the next customer to find it in. That would be impossible without equipment anyway.

I agree with this. I'd pick up any obvious stuff, of course. But nor would I be checking every nook and cranny for peas.

SarahBellam · 19/07/2021 16:09

@SeaShoreGalore

Hell of a lot of saints on this thread 😀

No, just not dicks.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 16:15

@soirritating

But if a lone pea had found its way under the table....it might get missed 🤷‍♀️

Yes because making sure you have your personal belongings like coat and bag is the same as scouring every part of the floor for peas🤔

I'd pick up any obvious stuff, of course. But nor would I be checking every nook and cranny for peas.

Are you always so hyperbolic?

A lone pea getting missed, scouring every part of the floor, every nook and cranny?

It's making you look a bit ridiculous here

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 16:17

Hell of a lot of saints on this thread

There's a hell of a lot of creative writers too...

soirritating · 19/07/2021 16:22

[quote WorraLiberty]@soirritating

But if a lone pea had found its way under the table....it might get missed 🤷‍♀️

Yes because making sure you have your personal belongings like coat and bag is the same as scouring every part of the floor for peas🤔

I'd pick up any obvious stuff, of course. But nor would I be checking every nook and cranny for peas.

Are you always so hyperbolic?

A lone pea getting missed, scouring every part of the floor, every nook and cranny?

It's making you look a bit ridiculous here [/quote]

I can be quite expressive, yes. I'm entitled to express my view as much as you are, without being called "ridiculous".

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 16:25

I can be quite expressive, yes. I'm entitled to express my view as much as you are, without being called "ridiculous"

Ok, the hyperbole you're using is ridiculous.

I know it's difficult to excuse the poor manners and laziness of some parents, but trying hard to minimize it does nothing to justify it either.

There's no excuse for able bodied parents to decide it's ok to leave their shit for others to deal with.

soirritating · 19/07/2021 16:26

@WorraLiberty

My point was that sometimes food on the floor can get missed; babies throw and drop stuff and if you don't have your eyes on them at that precise moment it is possible a pea or two will get missed. To suggest that retrieving said peas from the floor is as "basic" (in another poster's words) as making sure you have your personal belongings is a bit silly, because in order to make sure you retrieved said peas, you might need to search a little under the table for any stray accidentally dropped ones. Your personal stuff like bag and coat are presumably on the chair or floor in plain sight where you left them. It's hardly the same.

That said, as I have already said, I would of course pick up any obvious mess. Absolutely.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 16:28

Ok, I thought it was quite clear the PP meant to do a cursory glance around to make sure there's nothing obvious, like dropped food or left belongings but fair enough.

Booboosweet · 19/07/2021 16:30

Just pick up the peas! What a muckpuppet.

YanTanTethera123 · 19/07/2021 16:30

Yet another slummy mummy?
Our local garden centre has banned children from one of its restaurants because of the appalling mess left by mothers and children dropping in after the school run etc. They were sick of them occupying the tables for several hours, buying minimal drinks etc and leaving the place a tip as well as let children run riot.
It wasn’t unusual for dirty nappies, food detritus, spillages on furniture and the floor etc
Having witnessed it once I couldn’t believe how arrogant and lazy some are, clearly thinking it beneath themselves to clear up the mess their children left.

bookworm20 · 19/07/2021 16:32

But if a lone pea had found its way under the table .... it might get missed.

I think you're good to go with leaving a little lone pea you hadn't noticed or couldn't get to.

Op's dc on the other hand Pea'd all over the floor, so quite different.

OceanTurtles · 19/07/2021 16:32

@YanTanTethera123

Yet another slummy mummy? Our local garden centre has banned children from one of its restaurants because of the appalling mess left by mothers and children dropping in after the school run etc. They were sick of them occupying the tables for several hours, buying minimal drinks etc and leaving the place a tip as well as let children run riot. It wasn’t unusual for dirty nappies, food detritus, spillages on furniture and the floor etc Having witnessed it once I couldn’t believe how arrogant and lazy some are, clearly thinking it beneath themselves to clear up the mess their children left.

Dirty nappies in a food area is a first.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 16:32

@Booboosweet

Just pick up the peas! What a muckpuppet.

Muckpuppet 🤣🤣

OceanTurtles · 19/07/2021 16:33

YABU and I think you know that, that's why you have not returned.

MrsFin · 19/07/2021 16:36

I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food

But it's ok to expect someone else to do it?

soirritating · 19/07/2021 16:36

@WorraLiberty

Ok, I thought it was quite clear the PP meant to do a cursory glance around to make sure there's nothing obvious, like dropped food or left belongings but fair enough.

Yes exactly, a glance would enable you to see and pick up a anything obvious - not all food dropped would be obvious though, particularly something the size of a pea. Having said that, in OP's case it was pointed out to her by family and she didn't pick it up. I wouldn't have done that - I'd have picked up as soon as it was brought to my attention.

PeanutButterCheesecake · 19/07/2021 16:37

They will have cleaned up after you, and then called you a 'fucking scruffy bitch' behind your back. Because you are.

soirritating · 19/07/2021 16:40

@bookworm20

But if a lone pea had found its way under the table .... it might get missed.

I think you're good to go with leaving a little lone pea you hadn't noticed or couldn't get to.

Op's dc on the other hand Pea'd all over the floor, so quite different.

Good point

Tomatobear · 19/07/2021 16:45

Of course you clean it up. It's basic manners. I always clean up after my DC, takes a minute.

This kind of attitude makes me feel embarrassed for our generation.

LagunaBubbles · 19/07/2021 16:51

I've often wondered who the parents are that are so entitled they don't clean up after their children, now I know.

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