To wish schools would do away with star of the week?

[Elisannah]

So every child in my daughter's class has been given "star of the week" at least 2 or 3 times but she has only had it once, quite near the beginning of the school year.

I get that it's meant to be great for motivation etc but my daughter is fully aware that she's the only one to not have it at least twice and now thinks she must not be good enough. She has been great at being pleased for her friends and she always gets glowing reports yet this ridiculous reward scheme is always looming on her mind. I reassure her that she's doing great and it's more important to choose to be kind and respectful regardless of whether it's noticed or rewarded. I've tried to frame it as a useful life lesson on disappointment but AIBU to wish they'd do away with the whole thing if they're not going to make sure all the children are equally recognised??

@Cowbells

I agree but for similar reasons. DS2 never had it. One year he got it once and this was for...drumroll...not making a fuss when another boy pulled DS's trousers and pants down in front of the class. Message? 'You're a star for tolerating being bullied and publicly humiliated. But we don't rate your academic progress or creativity at all.' I hated that school.

Wow that's a pretty fucked up thing for the school to do. I'm not even surprised. Mental.

Thank you OP and Lavender. I did have words and the teacher did look fairly ashamed when I pointed it out to her. They tried to give him a star of the week in the final week of term but even though he was young, he made it clear to me that he saw through it as an empty gesture. Children know.

Cowbells, thank goodness you did point it out! How awful.

I really agree with the 'we don't rate your academic progress or creative ability at all' sense. My DD has achieved the 'special award' in each year (again going through each child so all get a chance) but always for being sensible, doing the right thing, and a good role model. She doesn't really have any issues with cooperation or being sensible, It's meant she feels pressure each year to stuff the emotions like disappointment and frustration and not show them at school, and I don't think it's realistic or honest.

"You don't know every other child has had it more than once - you're going on the word of a 5 year old."

• If your homework comes through and is submitted on an internet portal you do, as the 'star of the week' is included each week as an entry on that.

My dc have had achiever/reader/mathematician of the week a few times and every time they've felt so proud of themselves. I know a lot on here say that it's only the naughty kids that get it but my dc aren't naughty and do put the effort in. Dc 2 especially is the type of child who is so quiet they're easily lost on the classroom so I think it's lovely that they're actually noticed and rewarded for the work they've done.

One of DD's teachers did star of the day........it was the year from hell, cue at least 2 or 3 children coming out crying at the end of school every day.
A different teacher worked a points system, for every 10 points you got something from the surprise box, kids loved that and they were only in competition with themselves.

How much more mollycodling is going to be thrown onto kids,stars for this,stars for that,what is going on in schools these days,who comes up with these absolute ridiculous ideas? It creates nothing but upset kids who don't get the prize,& then winge to mum who takes it upon themselves to get teacher to give it next week to jack& jill even if they were no good,whatever that means.
Went to school & college & never had this rubbish foisted on us,just went to learn like the rest of my class mates, this just creates animosity

It's not a big deal to contact school and ask if more thought can be put into making it fair for all. DS was Pupil of the Week but his photo wasn't uploaded like others in his class on a social media page. I asked his teacher via telephone if she could post it up, she felt terrible for missing him out. They are busy people who work hard. I showed DS and it made his day. If you don't ask, you don't get🤷