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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be bothered if someone said bloody in front of your 11 year old?

104 replies

satci · 19/07/2021 07:26

Not really thinking, at a party. No younger kids heard. Would you be overly offended? It wasn't me or my child involved but I think at 11 I wouldn't have minded my children hearing that. What's everyone else's thoughts?

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 19/07/2021 10:17

No.

By the age if 11 they would have heard and possibly used much worse than that.

Having said that my husband thinks bloody is a worse swear word than I do. Regional differences?

CornishPastyDownUnder · 19/07/2021 10:20

my kids heard far worse from me on long road trips-trust me-they havent been scarred for life or left emotinally disturbed..mom still has a potty mouth now the kids are15&16,and they,like me know when and where to bring out the blue😉

wordsareveryunnecessary · 19/07/2021 10:20

In Shrek. It is said "he climbed the highest bloody room of tallest bloody tower".
It also gets a mention in Harry Potter
Kids films

MrsKeats · 19/07/2021 10:23

No

greatestdancer · 19/07/2021 10:24

Not at all

Maggiesfarm · 19/07/2021 10:26

Not nowadays. It was 'swearing' when I was a child but is tame now.

I don't like to hear people peppering every sentence with it, it sounds stupid, but it isn't a dreadful word.

toastfiend · 19/07/2021 10:29

My 2 year old accidentally overheard me talking about "bloody pigeons" this morning. Now he keeps beckoning me to the window to see the "bloody pigeons, Mummy!" It's not ideal but he's a little parrot at the moment and he'll have moved on to something else by this afternoon.

I certainly wouldn't worry about an 11 year old overhearing 'bloody'. But I probably wouldn't mind an 11 year old overhearing most words, they'll have heard it at school anyway. I have quite a relaxed attitude to swearing, though, we're a fairly sweary family generally and have all managed to raise perfectly nice, polite children who aren't running around calling people "fucking wankers", so I just can't get too worked up about it. Can't think that any of us would ever really be aggressive or use swearing in that context, though, and I think that's where the issues arise, rather than just overhearing the words. I try not to swear around kids, but I wouldn't be offended or tell anyone off if they did unless they were being unpleasant and using that kind of language as an attack.

Notaroadrunner · 19/07/2021 10:30

No. I swear like a sailor so bloody wouldn't even be considered a bad word in this house.

LindaEllen · 19/07/2021 10:35

It wouldn't bother me. I think everyone accidentally swears at some point - but it would bother me if there were people who were effing and blinding as a part of their vocabulary around children, without thinking to try and censor themselves.

Constellation89 · 19/07/2021 10:43

Wouldn't be bothered at all

MarianneUnfaithful · 19/07/2021 10:45

Since it is used in the BBC before the watershed it’s hard to think a child can be protected.

However I think it is reasonable to set a good example to kids about not routinely swearing.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 19/07/2021 11:09

Nah.

HowManyToes · 19/07/2021 11:12

This can’t be a serious question?

RedMarauder · 19/07/2021 11:14

Nope.

They hear far worse at school.

The trick is to explain to them that certain language isn't appropriate in particular circumstances. That stops them swearing in front of their grandparents.

rantymcrantface66 · 19/07/2021 11:17

Definitely not. I actually don't care what swear words people say in from t of my 11 year old. Nothing she doesn't hear in the school playground and she knows what's acceptable to say and what isn't.

Nietzschethehiker · 19/07/2021 11:21

Nope like others it wouldn't raise an eyebrow. To be honest like most things I believe in DC learning what is appropriate and why it is used.

I don't actively swear around them but I have slipped and to be honest they pull me up on the intention rather than the word really. I called another driver an idiot in the car Friday (in my defence he was being one pulling out without looking while I was already on the roundabout) and DS2 told me off and explained we all make mistakes and we shouldn't call people idiots for having a bad day. I was kind of proud of that actually. I don't care about swearing (I'm aware idiot isn't swearing but he would say the same for a swearword).

He sounds lovely doesn't he? It sounds very waltonesque in my house. It's not ! He had aready got in trouble for licking another child at lunchtime. To see if he tasted like the sandwich he was eating.

That bought him a weekend of lectures about covid. An LFT test so we could reassure the parent of the other child and loss of privelige.

Honestly swearing is not the biggest issue in most cases.

BiBabbles · 19/07/2021 11:23

Most of the time, no.

If it was being used aggressively towards them or around them towards people, I might have some bother mainly as once that starts it tends to escalate unless defused so it's more its use combined with other concerning things, but a passing frustrated remark or comment with aggression in it - like he climbed the highest bloody room of tallest bloody tower - no, wouldn't bother me.

BiBabbles · 19/07/2021 11:23

*with no aggression in it, obviously. Grin

CornishGem1975 · 19/07/2021 11:24

They hear me say a lot worse at times.

I have no problem with swearing really - I have teens now, I've told them as long as they don't swear AT ME, then I'm going to excuse the odd swear word.

Canigooutyet · 19/07/2021 11:25

Wouldn't bother me, but mine enjoyed the bloody history books

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/07/2021 11:27

Not bothered at all. They hear far far worse at school.

Hobbesmanc · 19/07/2021 11:34

I remember my Grandma in the seventies using the word ruddy as a substitute. And being told you could use it in the context of blood- as in Bloody Mary (the queen not the cockatiel back then) but not as a swear word. I can't remember any adults swearing in front of us a children. But I swear like a trooper

Original poster
satci · 19/07/2021 11:35

No I agree with all this. A guest kicked up a bit of a fuss and made the swearer feel awful. The 11 year old felt quite embarrassed too. Causes a right atmosphere. I would try not to say anything around anyone else's kids. Mine at 2 and 4 unfortunately have heard worse on occasions. At 11 I'd rather they knew swear words and when/ where they aren't acceptable.

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 19/07/2021 11:42

I'm an absolute fucker for swearing - you have to get up early to swear more than I do, which I appreciate is nothing to be proud of 😬 - but I do rein it in around the kids.

My 10yo is quite 'proper' and doesn't like swearing at all - he gets quite snotty when his friends swear - but my 7yo is a completely different story. He has bat-like hearing when it comes to swearing 🙄

He comes out with words I NEVER use around kids, all of which he's heard in the playground. 'Bloody' wouldn't even register with him though.

There's no point sheltering kids from bad language when they constantly hear it from sources other than their parents. I've always said to mine "What you hear isn't as important as what you choose to say".

Dramallama4 · 19/07/2021 11:43

No, they hear far worse at school.