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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP thinks I tracked him with Airtag

96 replies

Cocopogo · 18/07/2021 20:34

I bought an Airtag for my handbag months a go. It alerts people if it’s picked up their location, it’s sends them a phone notification and makes a beeping sound when separated from me that I can remotely set off. I went to the shop and thought it would be funny Hmm to put it in his car (back story is he’s very precious about his car and whenever I’m in it he goes on, can you hear that noise? And goes on for ages if something is tapping like if a seltbelt is making slight rattle or one of kids left something in car etc). So I put it in car and went in shop and keep triggering the sound, I was very disappointed to return to no response and we drove home and got distracted with kids and forgot all about it. Next thing I know, DP is fuming saying he’s leaving me, that I’m a crazy stalker and that I’ve been tracking him and he’s stood with the Airtag in his hand that was beeping in his car. He didn’t even listen to my explanation and accused me of being some sort of Apple mastermind who hacked his phone and was tracking him. His reaction has made my spider senses tingle now that he does in fact have something to hide.
YABU to play a silly trick and most people would assume that too. And I should apologise and move on.
YANBU he’s got a guilty mind and I shouldn’t apologise and should wonder why he’s so mad about it.

OP posts:
EmRata95 · 18/07/2021 20:37

My sisters cheating ex used to get very angry and defensive when she started to cotton on and question his whereabouts, and even angrier when she had actual evidence. If your gut is telling you something, listen.

ClemDanFango · 18/07/2021 20:37

I don’t really get the prank to be honest. Doesn’t sound like a funny thing to do but I guess it’s one of those ‘you had to be there’ type situations.
I’d apologise once and tell him it was a silly prank. If he digs his heels in let him calm down for a while, don’t beg him back just let him know you’re sorry and leave it.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/07/2021 20:38

You played a very stupid game and it's blown up in your face. Perhaps your partner is overreacting a bit, but it doesn't look good from his angle, does it? If I thought my husband was tracking me, I'd lose it. Not sure how you're going to fix this one.

WildSwimming101 · 18/07/2021 20:39

I don't know?

Do you do other annoying things?

Is your relationship OK otherwise?

Is there a chance he's cheating?

Is there a chance he just wanted an excuse to leave anyway?

MarrymeTomHardy · 18/07/2021 20:40

On the fence here..
Strange prank but also strange reaction...
Sounds like he is hiding something 🤔

underneaththeash · 18/07/2021 20:41

Is he actually a partner, or just a boyfriend you don't live with?

If it's a boyfriend, I think he has every right to be utterly pissed off and live-ib partner less so.

warmfluffytowels · 18/07/2021 20:41

If I found a tracking device in my car, I would be so angry and humiliated. It must be absolutely horrendous to feel as though your partner doesn't trust you.

You did a really stupid thing and now you're dealing with the consequences.

WildSwimming101 · 18/07/2021 20:41

Maybe he thinks you've been acting weird recently and immediately assumed you were trying to catch him out for something?

Maybe he got so angry because he's not cheating and is very upset at the thought of you thinking he is?

What is he doing now? Has he packed his things or has he calmed down?

Aquamarine1029 · 18/07/2021 20:43

If it's a boyfriend, I think he has every right to be utterly pissed off and live-ib partner less so.

Why on earth does that matter? Boyfriend or live-in partner? Either one has the right to be furious if they believe they are being tracked without their permission.

Scarydinosaurs · 18/07/2021 20:43

The airtag was beeping because you alerted it so CLEARLY you weren’t trying to track him as you had alerted him that it was there by setting it off.

It seems like a weird joke, but taking what you’ve said on face value- clearly you thought he would find it funny.

If he’s reacted really badly give him a chance to calm down and then ask him about it and gauge his reaction. It might be for a good reason he overreacted, or, he’s got a guilty conscience.

MadMadMadamMim · 18/07/2021 20:43

It doesn't sound a funny prank to me. It does sound a weird thing to do to a partner and I think I'd dump any bloke that did that to me. It does have creepy stalker vibes about it.

Only you know whether you think he's got something to hide.

Either way, it doesn't sound like you are very compatible.

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 20:49

I think yabu.

You left a tagging device in his care 'by accident' it clearly looks like your re tracking him and he is annoyed.

Now you are assuming he is hiding something. Your excuse does sound like an excuse. That said I wouldn't find the prank funny either.

Is this really the first time your lack of trust in him has been raised?

I would end a relationship over this. But I have to say that's because my exh did used to track me. Used to go through my phone, my email, park outside work. He never caught me doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything.

As far as I am concerned, either trust me or dont. If you don't, leave. Don't invade my privacy and then say I am being suspicious when it bothers me.

And I am happier for it. Games are not my thing.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 18/07/2021 20:57

If you were tracking him, you wouldn't have alerted him to its presence by deliberately triggering it. You'd have put it in the boot or somewhere else that he wouldn't have found or heard beeping.

I think he has something to hide. And I've been the subject of a stalky, controlling ex, so would be very quick to say 'fuck that, I'm out' if I thought you were following his movements.

BlueSurfer · 18/07/2021 21:01

Sounds like you are trying to deflect from being in the wrong and are shifting the blame onto him. If I thought my partner was tracking me and then deflecting, it would be the end of the relationship.

RunningFromInsanity · 18/07/2021 21:03

How would you react if you found out your partner had put a tracking device in your car, and then when you found it said it was just a prank?

Your friends would be advising you to run for the hills.

user1471457751 · 18/07/2021 21:07

You bought a new piece of kit and then just forgot about it being in his car? Yeah,I can see why he's struggling to believe you. Who buys tracking kit anyway?

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 21:10

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

If you were tracking him, you wouldn't have alerted him to its presence by deliberately triggering it. You'd have put it in the boot or somewhere else that he wouldn't have found or heard beeping.

I think he has something to hide. And I've been the subject of a stalky, controlling ex, so would be very quick to say 'fuck that, I'm out' if I thought you were following his movements.

I think the issue, here is that she wasn't.

She did earlier and it didn't work, for whatever reason. Then it went off randomly.

Op had forgot it was there, so wasn't alerting him when it had gone off. As far as he is concerned it was was just playing up.

Its a very tricky one.

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 21:16

No actually I was wrong. The airtagevwaa going off to alert him that he was possibly being tracked. The website said

AirTag is designed to discourage unwanted tracking.If someone else’s AirTag finds its way into your stuff, your iPhone will notice it’s travelling with you and send you an alert. After a while, if you still haven’t found it, the AirTag will start playing a sound to let you know it’s there.

That's why it went off. So he may think that op didn't know about this feature.

Coyoacan · 18/07/2021 21:27

How would you react if you found out your partner had put a tracking device in your car, and then when you found it said it was just a prank?

This

So many people are being tracked by obsessive jealous partners, I'm afraid very few people would appreciate your sense of humour

Bridezillamaybe · 18/07/2021 21:31

Ok you're just going to have to wait till he calms down then demonstrate the sound it makes so you can explain yourself. You can't really blame him for how he reacted.

Original poster
Cocopogo · 18/07/2021 22:14

I stayed calm and took it on the chin. I know how it looks but I’m also aware that it pings people’s phones and beeps so it’s not for tracking people it’s for tracking stuff. I knew he’d get the alert but by then I’d have admitted where the beep was coming from but he never asked and I got busy with kids etc and next thing I knew he had it and was fuming. Tbh I’d rather not know what he gets up to in his free time so long as he treats us well.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 18/07/2021 22:19

Do you think he’s up to something?

SparrowNest · 18/07/2021 22:26

I’m not 100% sure I believe you myself. I think it’s possible you are just testing out your excuse on us.

It’s not a very funny prank, and it’s pretty obvious if someone finds a tracking device in their car they will think they’re being tracked. The fact you jump to accuse him of having something to hide just makes you seem more like the sort of paranoid, distrustful person who would issue ‘tests’ to catch a partner out. Or track them.

If you really are telling the truth here, you need to acknowledge that his reaction is perfectly reasonable in the circumstances, admit fault and basically beg forgiveness for behaving like an idiot.

Have you not seen the sort of advice women on here who find tracking devices receive?

CallMeNutribullet · 18/07/2021 22:32

Honestly op your story is sketchy

Whiskycav · 19/07/2021 00:33

Tbh I’d rather not know what he gets up to in his free time so long as he treats us well

So you don't mind if he is cheating? So why are you asking about his reaction?

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