DP thinks I tracked him with Airtag

[Cocopogo]

I bought an Airtag for my handbag months a go. It alerts people if it’s picked up their location, it’s sends them a phone notification and makes a beeping sound when separated from me that I can remotely set off. I went to the shop and thought it would be funny to put it in his car (back story is he’s very precious about his car and whenever I’m in it he goes on, can you hear that noise? And goes on for ages if something is tapping like if a seltbelt is making slight rattle or one of kids left something in car etc). So I put it in car and went in shop and keep triggering the sound, I was very disappointed to return to no response and we drove home and got distracted with kids and forgot all about it. Next thing I know, DP is fuming saying he’s leaving me, that I’m a crazy stalker and that I’ve been tracking him and he’s stood with the Airtag in his hand that was beeping in his car. He didn’t even listen to my explanation and accused me of being some sort of Apple mastermind who hacked his phone and was tracking him. His reaction has made my spider senses tingle now that he does in fact have something to hide.
YABU to play a silly trick and most people would assume that too. And I should apologise and move on.
YANBU he’s got a guilty mind and I shouldn’t apologise and should wonder why he’s so mad about it.

Pretty bad tracker for making constant noises. I think his reaction of dumping you and not just noticing it and being like you dropped your tag screams his hiding something.

A quick google would tell him that you would know you couldn’t hide it to track him secretly.

Pathetic "prank" and if it was played on me here, I'd certainly be thinking of leaving.

Yeah sorry but I'd be really upset if I was on the receiving end of that. Stupid thing to do.
Shifting the blame to him that he's sounding like he has something to hide, doesn't change the fact you did something idiotic.

I don't buy your explanation, sorry. If I was you DP I would think you were tracking me intentionally and I'd leave you.

"I found a tracking device in my car and DH says he left it there as a joke. I think he's tracking me. AIBU?"

Read ^ that and see how it would come across. Also consider the replies that you'd get, based on that post.

Hmmm I'm on the fence.
If it was the other way around, I would be upset and offended that my dh planted a tracker. But I wouldn't automatically be angry and threaten to leave.

Surely if he knew you had possession of a tracker for your handbag, he would be more amenable to the joke

@Cocopogo

I bought an Airtag for my handbag months a go. It alerts people if it’s picked up their location, it’s sends them a phone notification and makes a beeping sound when separated from me that I can remotely set off. I went to the shop and thought it would be funny to put it in his car (back story is he’s very precious about his car and whenever I’m in it he goes on, can you hear that noise? And goes on for ages if something is tapping like if a seltbelt is making slight rattle or one of kids left something in car etc). So I put it in car and went in shop and keep triggering the sound, I was very disappointed to return to no response and we drove home and got distracted with kids and forgot all about it. Next thing I know, DP is fuming saying he’s leaving me, that I’m a crazy stalker and that I’ve been tracking him and he’s stood with the Airtag in his hand that was beeping in his car. He didn’t even listen to my explanation and accused me of being some sort of Apple mastermind who hacked his phone and was tracking him. His reaction has made my spider senses tingle now that he does in fact have something to hide. YABU to play a silly trick and most people would assume that too. And I should apologise and move on. YANBU he’s got a guilty mind and I shouldn’t apologise and should wonder why he’s so mad about it.

What a cruel. prank. You know he's paranoid about noises in the car but went out and repeatedly kept activating the air tag? On that point alone, no wonder he's fuming.

I think you left it in his car on purpose. There is no way it was accidental and forgotten about.
His reaction tells one of two scenarios:

1. You have form for possessive and insecure behaviour because you don't trust him.
2. He has something to hide.

“I went to the supermarket with my DP and stayed in the car while he went to the shop. While I was in there I suddenly heard a beeping sound which didn’t stop. When I looked around I found an Apple airtag hidden in the car. I looked it up and saw that it can be used to track things. So clearly my DP has put it in my car to track me and has forgotten that it beeps when out of range of their phone. I am fuming with DP because clearly he doesn’t trust me, but he says it was just a joke. AIBU to feel violated?”

What do people think the responses would be?

“YABU, clearly if you’re upset about this you have something to hide so he’s right to track you.”

Or

“YANBU, he sounds like a creepy stalker. You need to make sure that he’s not tracking your phone, your computer etc. LTB.”

Thing is that posters on mn absolutely love to tell OP’s that “He’s cheating on you, sorry.” When if you play it the other way around the control is very evident.

I had an ex who tracked me. Put keyloggers on my computer, tracked me via find my phone and then used to gaslight me by telling me I’d been seen in x or y location so was clearly having an affair as I hadn’t told him the exact name of the place I was going to, even though he knew who I was meeting up with and where.

And you know what? The paranoia never goes. Even now sometimes something might happen and I wonder if somehow ex is still at it. I know he isn’t, but it’s a feeling of always being watched which almost never goes away once you’ve been there.

I’d leave someone if I thought they’d planted a tracking device in my car. I’d see it as very weird, disturbing, controlling behaviour and it would make me see them in a different, sinister, light. I know you weren’t tracking him and it was just a prank but it will be hard to convince him now and it has probably freaked him out.

@Farwest

I think the joke was: he's forever obsessing about noises the car makes. So she was creating another noise in the car via the airtag.

Ahh I see. And it only makes a noise when OP isn't near it.

You might need to sit him down and explain it to him OP in case he doesn't know how they work.

I think you've been monumentally stupid OP and if DP pulled that shit on me then claimed it was a joke I'd find it very difficult to believe it. He wouldn't do that, but I wouldn't tolerate it either.

If the roles were reversed, the majority would be calling for you to LTB.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Weird

Wow, maybe I’m just really young but I’d probably do something like this. My friend is always going on about things that smell, she doesn’t stop. She will walk around saying ‘can you smell that?’ screwing up her face and no one ever smells what she smells. So her boyfriend once put fish juice in her boot in a sock and told us to all pretend we couldn’t smell it. She kept saying how can you guys not smell that it’s awful and we were all pretending we couldn’t smell it. She stopped the car and told us she had to get the car washed before we went because it stunk and we literally couldn’t contain our laughter anymore. It was just a prank, she didn’t get angry just said wait until I get you back. Still had to get the car cleaned because we couldn’t get rid of the smell but it was funny and they’re always doing something to each other for a prank. I think op probably thought she’d come back to the car and he would say babe can’t you hear that and she’d say no and he would be like no something is beeping and then she would burst out laughing and pull it out and say she was just playing with him.

Op, I’d just wait until he calms down then just explain that you thought it would be funny because of xyz and you trust him so wouldn’t track him.

I'm not sure I believe your story tbh, and I'm guessing your husband doesn't either. It seems far more plausible that you were actually trying to track him.

I get the prank as my DH is exactly the same about imaginary squeaks and rattles in the car - it does my head in. Saying that, I would be furious if I found something like that in my car and I haven't done anything to warrant being tracked.

People saying "strange reaction", what else would he have done? Said "haha OP this unfunny prank of yours is great!"

It’s a weird prank but I think with the explanation you gave, his reaction is rather OTT. If DH did this to me then gave the explanation you did, I wouldn’t bloody leave him and accuse him of being a crazy stalker!

They do say people get aggressive when they have something to hide… I’d be concerned about his overreaction.

From his POV, either you don’t trust him, or he can’t trust you. I’m not surprised he’s angry.

@QueenBee52 clearly if you don't know the product you may assume that it was a tracker. I'm clearly not alone in that assumption from the rest of the responses.

How old are you?

I’d go ballistic if my dh did this to me and I have absolutely nothing to hide.
If he tried to say it was a prank, I’d be seriously considering our whole relationship.
Why would you even do this?