To think most of MN don’t know what having no money means

[icecolddrinks]

And that admitting to having none is humiliating.

I see it here all the time. Someone has no money. Someone suggests something to make life easier. The person says again they have no money. MN suggest a cheaper version.

On the thread about dress up so many people were saying to tell the school.

I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?

How can someone realistically spend 35 hours a week job searching if they live in an area with no jobs. There is only so many times your pride will let you ask the local shop if they have work when they told you no the day before.

But this just isn't when sanctions are imposed. If there is employment, but it is not taken up, then it is imposed. I have often heard "I'm not working in a factory"...."I'm not cleaning". Well then fine, but it's not a poverty trap why you've got no money then.

And again what about those working full time who cant afford to live.

They should be able to. So it's a case of looking at the individual circumstances and asking why. And as PP stated it's frequently down to no budgeting/priorities. I've assisted no end of people with the programme I've involved with. People who've said "I'm broke". And after a bit of guidance they see they're not broke at all, it's their choices that leave them broke. There's one woman in particular who just won't be helped. She has an excuse for everything. She's just lazy, and angry at having to cut back on anything. There's another who's on now a debt management program who's life has changed hugely and she'll be debt free in around two years.

@LemonRoses

No reasonable teacher, no reasonable human, would expect a present off a child who was living in a grim bed and breakfast place without access to cooking facilities.

Teacher Gifts: I can't get my head around a teacher 'expecting a present off a child' anyway. Teachers should be paid appropriately. That's a separate thing. A handmade card from a child to a favourite teacher - lovely. But, gifts for people who are doing their jobs? Routinely? From kids (or their parents who poss can't afford it) shouldn't be an expectation.

I remember as a child that 'no money' meant no heating, no proper shoes, and not enough dinner. It can still mean that. Also, thinks like not enough loo roll, not enough shampoo, period products etc.

I think of folk that don't understand that as: 'lucky'.
I think of folk that judge people for being poor as hideous.
(not aimed at you @LemonRoses I thought your comment good

@TwinsandTrifle your lack of empathy is showing.

Out local shop does a tab

They don’t add interest as they know very soon it shall be paid back. The shop closed for a week at the beginning of the pandemic I wondered how some manages during this time

And as for living beyond my means the only loan I could get was a pay day loan (which are criminal) to pay for essentials after my rent was paid. It was not a choice to live beyond my means it was a necessity to be able to have food and heating. I couldn’t get a benefits loan and had no one to ask to borrow money from

In all seriousness though twins if you were modelling you weren’t reliant on benefits so one part is a bit of billy bullshit, isn’t it?

Alas no. When I had DS I had to stop work, and was a single mum with no other support. Hence onto benefits.

And I don't know what the twenty years aha you can't add up is, as if somewhere I've said I've done something for twenty years (like I'd say I've been a qual acc for twenty years) because it was my early twenties and I'm now heading for 40, don't get too excited that I didn't specifically say "17yrs, 4 months and 3 days" instead.

I will never forget when at the beginning of the month when my DS was 2, only having £20 to buy food for us both while also only having about £4 left on the emergency electric meter. I had my dad staying and when I tearfully told him he bragged about his navy and police pensions being so much he wouldn’t be able to get any benefits. Didn’t offer me a penny, not that I would have took it from him.

Not long after this I made the decision to Escort out of sheer desperation and then luckily only had to do that for around 3 years to get us all sorted for life. I never ever wanted to go back there and I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that to my DC.

@OlympicProcrastinator

I remember years ago being eligible for my kids to have FSM but I just couldn’t let the school know. I knew I’d be treated differently and so would my children. Also, when one of them was born I got repeated letters telling me to claim for free fruit and veg. But in order to do so, I’d have to go and tell my health visitor how poor I was and get her to sign something. Not something I felt I could do. So glad those days are over but it certainly shaped me as a person and taught me a lot about judging others without fully understanding circumstances.

If anyone is reading this and in this situation..please think of tge kids and sign the paper work. As your self, will the people laughing at you be willing to put food on your table? If not, get the courage to mind your own business and feed your kids.

@TwinsandTrifle maybe retraining in empathy and compassion would be the way to go. Qualifying as an accountant 20 years ago doesn't really make you an accountant now so why did you not just come on and say-you were a successful model. And if you haD such a good modelling career and were such a good accountant why did you need to rely on benefits. Like the rest of us life isnt simple or straight forward and you yourself must have faced some sort of hardship to end up on benefits in the first pace. I
Like i said your is actually a success story so why not use it to encorage people rather than be so condescending.

@FreekStar2 both kids are over 19 and are classed as non dependents so I don't qualify for UC. I earn too much to qualify for carers allowance.

@Maddiemademe

I will never forget when at the beginning of the month when my DS was 2, only having £20 to buy food for us both while also only having about £4 left on the emergency electric meter. I had my dad staying and when I tearfully told him he bragged about his navy and police pensions being so much he wouldn’t be able to get any benefits. Didn’t offer me a penny, not that I would have took it from him.

Not long after this I made the decision to Escort out of sheer desperation and then luckily only had to do that for around 3 years to get us all sorted for life. I never ever wanted to go back there and I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that to my DC.

Bless you, thats an ultimate sacrifice to make for your kids and one no one should have to make in this day and age

or are sanctioned by the job centre for ridiculous reasons

They aren't ridiculous reasons. They stop the system being abused

No they don't. People who are going to abuse the system just do it in different ways. It does make it harder for people who are genuinely struggling and just trying to get by, and then get hit by things they cannot control.

@debbrianna i agree. Please dont ever feel ashamed and if you need help just ask. Other people dont really care that much how you are feeding your children only that they are being fed. And those who look down on others will do regardless, so ignore. The citizens advice bureau are fantastic at helping people get what they are entitled too.

YANBU. I've never experienced poverty, but I have no trouble understanding that some people have no money. Some people are just hard of understanding and lacking in imagination, I'm afraid. And that goes for understanding anyone else's situation or imagining a life that different from their own, not just poverty.

If anyone is reading this and in this situation..please think of tge kids and sign the paper work. As your self, will the people laughing at you be willing to put food on your table? If not, get the courage to mind your own business and feed your kids

I did mind my business and feed my kids thank you! They didn’t go without, I did.

@Maddiemademe sorry to hear you reached the last resort. I have a friend who was that desperate too.

@wedswench

@Maddiemademe that's so sad

[quote TheQueef]@Maddiemademe sorry to hear you reached the last resort. I have a friend who was that desperate too.
[/quote]
Thank you. It really does become some people’s last resort which is sad.

I'm poor because I have massive debts" means you've chosen to borrow beyond your means, and need debt management

In all cases?
No.

People fall on hard times unexpectedly.

Could everyone on MN cover their existing debts if they fell on hard times? I doubt it. People typically borrow based on what they think they can currently afford and many find they are stuck with contracts they can no longer afford as the didn't expect their income to drop.

[sanctions] aren't ridiculous reasons. They stop the system being abused

Wow! What media do you read that you haven't heard about how sanctions are being used to punish the poor?

People are sanctioned for being late, or missing appointments when they were in hospital, or at job interviews or dying even. It is pernicious and people have died while on sanction due to lack of money.

I remember a tragic case of a diabetic man who needed electricity to keep his fridge running to keep his insulin working, who was sanctioned and couldn't afford to pay the leccy. He died in his flat. The autopsy found no food in his belly.

Even where sanctions aren't being used for the "wrong" reasons, they are a punishment that doesn't match the "crime".

A mother, for example, who struggles to make her back to work appointments as the busses are unreliable and she needs to pick the DC up first, risks being thrown into dire poverty, risking getting into rent arrears and losing her home fir being late a few times. How can that be fair? It's not.

Please learn a bit more about this subject. Sanctions are widely recognised as being unjust and not fit for purpose.

blogs.lse.ac.uk/politicsandpolicy/benefit-sanctions-are-harmful-and-ineffective/

@icecolddrinks your right. 😂

[quote scaredanddevastated]@TwinsandTrifle your lack of empathy is showing. [/quote]
Worrying that she appears to be working for an organisation supporting people who need financial assistance, isnt it? That judgement. I've no doubt some people make their situations worse but to suggest that its the exception that lack of money isn't down to choice is concerning as is the lack of awareness and understanding regarding why people are in the position that they find it hard to manage money.