Help to deal with passive aggressive behaviour 'disguised' as over exaggerated 'niceness'.

[coodawoodashooda]

A while ago a woman in my locality did paid help in my home to support me with my house and kids. Im a lone parent and was grateful for this help. It quickly became apparent that she was taking the piss. Quietly helping herself to my face cream, stuff from the food cupboard, wearing bits and pieces of my clothes. It became a nightmare and eventually i was able to stop her employment. She now, obviously, feels very angry towards me. She doesn't know for certain how much i know about her sneaky bad behaviour. She enacts her grudge towards me by engaging me in conversation with over exaggerated body language and 'niceness'. I go absolutely grey rock but can't put an end to it. I dont want to give her the satisfaction of providing her with the attention shes craving. What can i do?

@Templetreebloom

Having dealt with someone like this I really wouldnt do this OP !!! This advice is giving me palpitations! Listen to your instincts, she stole from you, considers how to punish people and is manipulative. She will ramp it up! Why the hell would you invite her back into your home ? The only way to " win" with these people is to get them out of your life!

I agree with this.

They are emotional vampires, digging, mining and goading for any nuanced reaction to feed their mad manipulative needs so that they can maggot their way back in.

They only operate on two levels - exploitation and control or punishment - fake/nice manipulation is their MO to get them into the position to do either or both.

Their brains are wired very differently and they work at lightening speed. You will never “win”. They believe that they are entitled to your stuff, time, energy, soul.

There is a reason grey rock is always the way to go. You have to bore them - no info so that there is no purchase for them to latch onto. Don’t let them sense any anxiety or distress.

This is a dangerous, thieving manipulative person. Keep well away. You have no idea how she could turn this around on you. Do you have any evidence for what she did? Did you broach bit with her - or did you just manoeuvre her out? Are you itching to tell her what you know.

Winning is fading into the background. You are almost there.

This is a dangerous, thieving manipulative person. Keep well away. You have no idea how she could turn this around on you. Do you have any evidence for what she did? Did you broach it with her - or did you just manoeuvre her out? Are you itching to tell her what you know.

So true.
If you let her back into your home and life and try to discredit or catch her she will go all out to bring you down .
Its called Narcissistic Rage.
She will have one face for everyone - sweet charming and one for her victims .
She will employ DARVO
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
Have been on the end of this and its not pretty.
She will discredit you to all, might even accuse you of theft or assault and because she is so "lovely" everyone will believe her.

Dont try to right her wrongs, congratulate yourself that you saw her clearly and got rid. Dont try to catch her out or badmouth her.
Just step away