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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say something?

133 replies

Sexnotgender · 17/07/2021 15:33

Walking with my dogs and children and saw a dad and I assume older sibling swinging 3/4 year old by her arms.

I mentioned in passing that it’s advised not to swing young children by their arms until at least 7 as there’s a risk of dislocation of elbows.

I try not to interfere with other people’s parenting generally but I would have hated them to accidentally hurt her.

Should I just have left them to it?

OP posts:
cookiecreampie · 17/07/2021 16:36

Actually this happened to me when I was younger. The arm came out the socket and was very painful. I still think you shouldn't have said anything though. Nothing is risk free and it wasn't your place.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 17/07/2021 16:37

Wow, just read the link and I have learned something. I am very relieved that mine apparently don't have vulnerable joints because this used to be their favourite thing and has been done 100s of time between then throughout their younger years.

PinniGig · 17/07/2021 16:37

@Sexnotgender

Trying to weigh up how you “mention in passing” to a complete stranger and how you then follow up with “I try not to interfere with other people's parenting”

I generally (99.9%) of the time mind my own business but when you see something dangerous do you just ignore it?

If I see something dangerous of course. A man out with his children doing what I'm assuming is the “1-2-3” underarm swing most parents have played with young children isn't dangerous. If I've misunderstood and this man was picking up his kid with one arm, swinging it full on over and above head height getting a full lasso going on then I stand corrected and agree.

Trying to think how many times I've chipped in because of worries something was dangerous and off the top can think of three. One was a child I saw wander away from his parents whilst they were queuing for snacks in a busy theme park and they hadn't seen him toddle off.

One was seconds from getting a dog bite and the third most serious was a child no more than 5yrs old who dipped underneath the tape at horse trials / XC as one horse and rider were on approach flat out gallop and the kid bang in line for being trampled to death.

You sound like the several dog and horse people I've met over the years whose thoughts, views, opinions and all their wisdom and wonder is spewed out on tap and piled onto people whether they want it or not.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 17/07/2021 16:39

Do you walk past parks and tell parents about the risks of swings? Maybe go to cafes and tell parents that ice cream will rot their children's teeth?

Your dog was statistically more dangerous than what he was doing, in reality you put the kid in more danger.

He sounded very polite, I would have told you to fuck off. Who sees a family out having fun and playing and then sticks their nosy beak in so they stop.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 17/07/2021 16:40

My dog on a lead was dangerous how exactly?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 17/07/2021 16:41

My kids used to love us doing this to them when they were small. They also liked me to swing them round and round in a big circle if I was on my own.

They are all still present and correct and with their arms the right length. I'd have just given you a smile and then continued on my way still doing as I had been doing.

I'm clearly a shit parent.

Greenwateringcan · 17/07/2021 16:41

I used to do this all the time and no children got dislocated anything’s.

I’d have said ok then. Thanks. And promptly ignored you

Mockolate · 17/07/2021 16:42

YABU.
You're lucky he didn't tell you to bog off and mind your own.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 17/07/2021 16:42

@Sexnotgender

My dog on a lead was dangerous how exactly?
The dog could have slipped the lead and savaged the kid. It happens, and is probably more likely than your scenario.
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 17/07/2021 16:43

My 2 very placid greyhounds were both in harnesses but thank you for your concern.

OP posts:
Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:45

@Sexnotgender

My 2 very placid greyhounds were both in harnesses but thank you for your concern.
Oh the delicious irony of this comment Grin
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 17/07/2021 16:45

@Sexnotgender

My 2 very placid greyhounds were both in harnesses but thank you for your concern.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 17/07/2021 16:46

I’m literally thanking them for their concern. You guys are weird, is it the heatConfused

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 17/07/2021 16:46

When mine were young, we would hang them upside down swing them by their legs. Also throw them up in the air as toddlers.

Greenwateringcan · 17/07/2021 16:47

We used to talk along with a child between us and swing them.

I honestly think elf and safety has gone mad at times.

Greenwateringcan · 17/07/2021 16:47

*walk

Jjjayfee · 17/07/2021 16:48

Well I am grateful for your post. I did this with my toddler granddaughter in the park recently but won't do it again and I will tell her parents when I see them. I had no idea it was a bad thing to do so thanks

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 17/07/2021 16:48

YANBU-we did this with DD and popped her elbow out-DH is an orthopaedic surgeon as well 😵

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:49

You guys are weird, is it the heat

Funny, the same thought occurred about you

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 17/07/2021 16:50

@MrsElijahMikaelson1

YANBU-we did this with DD and popped her elbow out-DH is an orthopaedic surgeon as well 😵
Well at least he could put it back in I suppose!
OP posts:
Mollymalone123 · 17/07/2021 16:51

We used to do it with our kids- had no idea- until my eldest DD said please don’t do it Mum with ours and she explained why- and I didn’t do it! No one got upset by it.Sorry people are being so mean! Trouble is how you say something or explain something never comes across well in text-it’s a had to be there moment- but I’d like to think your average person would have said exactly the same as the Dad you spoke to.Rationally 😂

UrAWizHarry · 17/07/2021 16:52

[quote Sexnotgender]www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.scarymommy.com/dont-swing-your-kid-by-the-arms/%3famp=1[/quote]
In the same article the write says she uses a leash, instantly invalidating her opinion.

At best I think most people will just ignore interfering busybodies, at worst you'll get told to fuck off.

Mpsister · 17/07/2021 16:52

I wouldn't have said anything but you did nothing wrong
I love greyhounds 🐶

UrAWizHarry · 17/07/2021 16:53

@Greenwateringcan

We used to talk along with a child between us and swing them.

I honestly think elf and safety has gone mad at times.

As do countless parents. The risk is no higher than a kid hurting themselves in countless other ways.
PinniGig · 17/07/2021 16:57

@vodkaredbullgirl

When mine were young, we would hang them upside down swing them by their legs. Also throw them up in the air as toddlers.
I know what you mean but I'm properly laughing at the mental images that immediately brought to mind. Kids picked up and either hung by their feet on the back of the door as a makeshift darts board or stuck to a large wheel with prizes and pounds for people to spin and win big money

When the darts and wheel of fortune is finished, a good old underarm sling to see who can get them stuck over the telephone wires like trainers tied together and given a real launch Grin

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