People who don’t do online ordering but expect you to.

[BelleClapper]

Had yet another message from a family member while I was at work asking if I could order X item from X shop. I ignored it because I was busy. I then got a follow up text this morning saying ‘don’t worry if you’re too busy, I can try to get it instore if it’s in stock’.

I asked why they don’t just set up their own account and got a reply about already having too many passwords to remember. Wtf.

They do have a smart phone and use the internet so it’s not that. Requests are a few times a month, more around family birthdays etc.

DH is also guilty of this, he messages me links to eBay items rather than set up his own eBay/PayPal account. I forced him to make his own Amazon log in last year because it was weekly requests for me to order stuff.

I might be in a particularly bad mood today but I’m finding it really fucking irritating. Yes it may only take me a couple of minutes but I resent it.

AIBU to just say no to it from now on? The recent one has tipped me over because I’ve worked 52 hours in the last 7 days and the person asking doesn’t work. Im a little bit at breaking point and this ‘small favour’ request has broken me iyswim.

@BelleClapper

I must admit the password comment really irritated me. I mean, your phone literally saves the password for you

This person is also a constant messenger, including voice messages (I work in a busy, noisy pub) and tends to bombard me if I don’t reply.

I suppose I just feel I’m being a bit petty to say no to spending five minutes helping them. But actually why should I.

The password thing is one good thing about having a smartphone!

They basically want you to do their life admin don't they?

So lazy. I tend to use a generic password combination for online shopping, booking tickets etc which involves the company name written in a certain way (eg first third and fourth letter capitalised) and a good solid passcode known only to me but which is always the same . Works for my small brain. Only problem is if they limit the number of characters you can have, then my super password loses some of its potency.

Does she think online ordering is for the ‘little people’. Some people think that being a technophobe makes them quirky and charming.

DH is also guilty of this, he messages me links to eBay items rather than set up his own eBay/PayPal account. I forced him to make his own Amazon log in last year because it was weekly requests for me to order stuff.

DH does this, I did force him to have a joint Prime account with me which he has done now, with a lot of grizzling I will add.
He also started doing it with shops that I had never shopped at, which I said it was just as easy for him to buy from there as me, I didn't mind too much when he was out at work as it meant I could schedule deliveries as only I was at home some days but now we are both retired he can order his own stuff.

YANBU

My sister does this. She has an iPad, finds the item, then phones me to ask me to order, whilst having the item open in their screen. There then follows something of a palaver about which size/colour. She doesn't transfer me the money, but pays me in cash a few days later. I never use cash. Means a special trip to bank/post office for me. It's too difficult for her, plus she doesn't want to get scammed.... Okay for me to though. My mum is nearly as bad she is tech savvy but I have to order stuff for her. Last time I made her order something for her self she got into a mess and ordered 3 of the same thing. Sending them back was traumatic as well. For some reason she couldn't get the Amazon return button to work. So I had to do it, where it worked for me straight away. Dunno.

You can add family members to prime now. There's no longer any need to use someone else's prime account

My 80 year old wheelchair bound mother with Parkinson’s shops online
Unless there is a really good reason people can’t do it tell them to bugger off

Gosh this is definitely a thing then.

These people are everywhere.

Wow! This thread is so eye opening to me! I’ve been ordering online items for several (capable) relatives in the U.K. despite living in a different country, simply because they’re too scared to use the internet for ordering (but internet banking is somehow different?).

The fear is real - I think it is linked to a vague notion of fraud somehow, but it really is just learned incompetence over time too. So fascinating that I’m not alone in this… since this is clearly not an unusual phenomenon!

Fuck that for a lark.

I go no further than ordering something urgent on my Prime account (example: DP nearly forgot his mum's birthday), or ordering something for an elderly relative who can barely remember how to use a remote control.

This is definitely a time to learn boundaries!

There seem to be a lot of people like this

YANBU

Tell him straight to stop bugging you or you'll block him. This guy is completely taking the piss.

They are being lazy and taking you for a mug. It’s a different story if they can’t use the internet

Wow I have never been asked to do this for anyone else!! Maybe I don't seem trustworthy enough I think I would message back "ha ha very funny" and assume it was a wind-up, especially if someone had a) found the link, and b) was savvy enough to do online bank transfers. Even my nearly 90 year old grandfather books his own flights online.

My husband phones me to ask me to phone someone for him then tells me the questions etc. He just doesn't seem to get that its a double time event for me whereas if he just phoned them direct he would be spending the same amount of time on the call. Baffles me.

YANBU

YANBU, but it always surprises me how people end up doing this.
If my dh sent me a link I 'd think he'd done it by mistake and ignore it.
Why do it/ say yes and then resent it, it doesn't make sense.

I don't mind ordering stuff for people if it is a one off or there is a good reason eg I have Prime on my Amazon account but my parents don't so if they need something ASAP or there is a really good prime deal they will ask me to order it but will always pay me back straight away, if they haven't already transferred the money up front.

The only person I ever regularly online shop for is my elderly great uncle. He isnt very confident with online banking and was scammed online a few years ago. It was really stressful to sort out and took ages to get his money back so (understandably) he doesn't want to use online shopping anymore, but he's housebound and it's the easiest way to buy stuff for him. We compromised that he can browse stores online, send me the links and I will use his card details to buy the items and have them delivered directly to him. We also have an agreement that I will order stuff once a week - he can send me links whenever is convenient but I will sit down on my computer and order everything in one go on a Sunday evening and then let him know that I've made the purchases. That way I can help him out but I don't have to deal with constant ordering/nagging about "have you ordered it yet?" Etc

Totally get this. Happy to order for elderly relatives. But a particular friend kept on sending her orders, finally persuaded her to pay for her own prime account. Final straw was when another friend’s daughter had rented videos on my account. She was very apologetic & it serves me right for sharing passwords.

It sounds as though you have been a bit too obliging in the past and now people think you are at their beck and call. Be more assertive and stop allowing yourself to be a doormat.

No, is a complete sentence.... just saying

This person is also a constant messenger, including voice messages (I work in a busy, noisy pub) and tends to bombard me if I don’t reply.

They are using you to manage some kind of anxiety. For some reason, they need to feel connected and so far you have provided them with that connection.

Best to establish boundaries.

Start with a firm No to the online ordering.
Then tell them firmly to stop messaging you during the day.

You will be surprised how quickly they find someone else to glom onto.

My mil is like this, drives me mental. Shes definitely a case of won't try not can do it. I've stopped doing it now.

@Redcherries

My husband phones me to ask me to phone someone for him then tells me the questions etc. He just doesn't seem to get that its a double time event for me whereas if he just phoned them direct he would be spending the same amount of time on the call. Baffles me.

YANBU

WTF?!?!

@updownroundandround

I couldn't tell you why some people do this, but I agree 100% that it's bloody selfish and annoying.

Why on earth would it be 'easier' to

1. Text/ phone you multiple times.
2. Travel into town to buy something.
3. Go to the trouble of finding what you need online, and then have to remember to ask someone to bloody order it for them or to send them the link.

instead of taking 5 mins to set up an account for themselves ??

It really does defy logic. It's lazy, selfish and entitled behavior which sends a clear message that a) They are too 'important' to be bothered with the 'details' e.g passwords etc. and b) Your time is so much less important than theirs.

If you have a few people all doing it to you, I'd be sending out a bloody group text along these lines tbh. (But worded more diplomatically than this)

This ^ in spades.

I think most of us have someone like this in their life.

Like you say, entitled arseholes who think their time is more important than others.

@BelleClapper As a number of people have said, just start saying no. Even if it means saying 'sorry, my internet is down..... not sure when it's going to come back on.'