AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

I'm with @thatsgotit here. Kids do not need to scream to enjoy themselves.

Call me old school but it's reasonable to respect the neighbours at all times, not just during the working day. Not all neighbours want to hear screaming. Despite living in the country we still have neighbours, and I have never let mine scream when playing. Giggling yes, laughing yes, talking yes, but yelling, screaming, shouting, no it's not necessary when the kids are adjacent to each other! Playing music, no - they have earphones so use them. There is absolutely no need for the dB level to increase above which a conversation could not be had next door, and it's just plain rude to think it's not a nuisance.

I went to visit my friend a couple of weeks ago, the nearest kids were 500m away across the valley, but you could hear them screaming in their swimming pool so loudly and continually (we wouldn't mind the odd exuberant shriek or two) we could barely carry on a conversation. Absolutely no need for them to scream that loud in a garden where other people can easily hear (they've a courtyard of houses around them too). I really don't know what the parents are thinking but surely they've got too much of a headache to read the Sunday papers over that racket !

@bunnybuggs

trampolines are typically a noisy activity. like pools and roller coasters you are only silent of you are shitting your pants, but most people make noise because of the excitement.
it's not really rocket science.

there are plenty of quiet or low noise level activities that kids can do.
trampolining is not one of them

You can't really ask them to not go on it, but you are entitled to ask them to stop screaming. Whether you're working or not, screaming kids are bloody awful. Playing fine, screaming no.

It actually amazes me that anyone might think their desire to work in a particular part of the house means it's ok to ask other people not to make normal residential noise.

@Tal45

Your DH is the one with the issue so he is that one that needs to move - although I'm surprised he can hear if he has the windows shut and noise cancelling head phones - or does he expect to be able to have the windows open and still expect it to be quiet? Why should the kids have to stay out their own garden. I'd be fuming if I was told my kids shouldn't use their play stuff in the garden during working hours, that's practically all day and the school holidays are just around the corner fgs. It's impossible to control little kids noise levels when they get excited unless you are there all the time constantly reminding them.

@Tal45 - I live in a detached house in a rural location and I can hear the neighbours children screaming when all the doors and windows are shut (double and triple glazed) and my TV on. Sometimes even with noise cancelling headphones and the white noise machine on too. It is possible especially with the high pitched screaming and shrieking some children like to do (especially as I have found out little girls! :-))

It actually amazes me that anyone might think their desire to work in a particular part of the house means it's ok to ask other people not to make normal residential noise.

I know right? Entitled isnt the word.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

I asked my kids if screaming & shouting while playing was necessary. they said yes.

I asked why? they said because that's what kids do and it's part of the fun.

so there you go. straight from the horse's mouth. kids should be allowed to be kids.🤷‍♀️

You could ask kids if eating poptarts for breakfast every day is necessary and they would say yes. You wouldn’t let them do it though!

You instil consideration to them.

Move rooms for working. Use a head set for calls. You can get ones with noise cancellation in them.

I really do sympathise OP I have hearing impairments and noise sensitivities myself - to the point that I have to wear noise reducing earplugs around my own children sometimes (they are not abnormally noisy, I just can't cope with more than one person talking at once + background noise) but unfortunately we are very close to the summer holidays and some children/families will be isolating and so the only outdoor space they have is their gardens (which they are lucky to have and should be making use of! I'm in a tower block with no balcony, the times we have had to isolate with the children quite literally drove me to breaking point). Your husband really does need to be talking to work and explaining that WFH isn't working due to his disability and living next door to children. You can't unfortunately dictate when the children can go on the trampoline if it is not in unsociable hours, just as actually your neighbours can't really dictate that you don't smoke weed. It could bother them, I must admit the smell would definitely bother me but there wouldn't be any point in saying anything because I have no right to dictate what my neighbours do.

I understand that you don't feel that is relevant to this post but I do think if you are also doing something that is actually illegal that impacts your neighbours - and for alot of people the smell would impact them - then it is a bit hypocritical to be complaining about your neighbours children doing something that is completley legal albeit annoying.

No way! We’re in summer holidays in Scotland now and the weather is lovely. You can’t tell kids to not enjoy the outdoors and the garden. I say this as a WFH person.

I think it is normal to ask your children to not shriek a lot. There's children noise and there's shrieking. If someone mentioned to me that my kids were shrieking a lot, I would take some action - not to spoil their fun, but I would ask them to be considerate of other people. My DH works from home and we homeschool, so they understand what he experiences when someone decides to play loud music or there's a lot of machine noise going on. It's not about anyone having the right to ask you to stop. It's about being considerate within your community.

Oh the other hand, my grumpy neighbour threatens my children with drowning because he reckons they throw buckets of water through the privet hedge and it soaks him. In reality they play with the tiniest water pistols possible, make sure they don't aim them over the 6+ foot hedge or into the 2 foot wide hedge that he has cut right back to the boundary on his side (his hedge) leaving us to maintain it at any thickness by sacrificing part our garden, and they know not to irritate grumpy neighbour because it upsets them when he yells at them. He sits outside right next to the hedge whenever the weather allows it and eats every meal outside. I have told my kids they can have as much as they like in the garden and as long as they are reasonably considerate, I have their back. Rant over.

@TheKeatingFive

It actually amazes me that anyone might think their desire to work in a particular part of the house means it's ok to ask other people not to make normal residential noise.

I know right? Entitled isnt the word.

Added to the weed smoking, which based on what OP has said the neighbours will be aware of, if DH and I were to receive such a request from a neighbour, us laughing in their face would be pretty much the best case scenario for them. And I don't even mind the weed really. It's the hypocrisy. And barefaced cheek.

Haven't read the whole thread - but read your updates so I can see how it went! I sympathise with your partner, but only because I have Misophonia due to my Autism. What you're dealing with here is normal residential noise. You can't ask folk to stop that. I'd say this is your partner's issue entirely. He might want to do a test to see if he has Misophonia misophoniainstitute.org/misophonia-test-do-you-have-misophonia/ for a start.

Then he needs to do what I have to do - save up for the best noise-cancelling gadgets and consider triple glazing your windows, etc...

I do empathise with his situation, but as has been said, no, it's not reasonable.

@Tal45 - I live in a detached house in a rural location and I can hear the neighbours children screaming when all the doors and windows are shut (double and triple glazed) and my TV on. Sometimes even with noise cancelling headphones and the white noise machine on too. It is possible especially with the high pitched screaming and shrieking some children like to do (especially as I have found out little girls! :-))

If you are still bothered by noise through triple glazing, noise cancelling headphones and white noise machine, then I think it's fair to say that you have extreme noise sensitivity issues.

I work from home and although very rural can hear a lot of outside noises. The smell of smoke bothers me the most whether it's from the odd smoker passing by or chimneys. You and your boyfriend's weed smoking would really offend me.

Having said that I think your boyfriend should ask his (not sure if you live together) neighbours to keep it down and see how much grief he gets. Maybe after he has upset them he will think twice about whining about ordinary everyday noise.

YABU. If they can only use the trampoline out of working hours they may get an hour a day before dinner, bath, bed? Plus if they aren’t on that playing then they’ll be out there doing something else noisy.

If you want "office quiet", work in an office.

I'd be quite glad if my overentitled neighbours didn't let their children scream and shriek on their trampoline at 10.30pm at night, but the fact that they do suggests that they are shits anyway.

Primary school age children, probably infant school age actually, so pretty crappy all round. The noise initially made me thought I needed to call the police as there must be an axe murderer in their garden. Needless to say, if there ever were an axe murderer in their garden, I would assume it was their children being inconsiderate at 10.30 at night and they would perish (joke).

You haven't replied to the specific question 'has your DH actually explained to his employer that WFH is proving very difficult and he needs to be able to return to the office immediately?'

Surely most employers could reasonably accommodate this request if WFH is having an adverse effect on your DH's productivity? Most employers seem to want their employees to return.

Think you need to invest in noise cancelling headphones

I sympathise about the noise as I am hard of hearing too, but it’s their garden and they are entitled to use it. I personally think smoking weed is disgusting so I don’t have much sympathy as they prob have to smell that.

Has he requested a risk assessment re going back to office as working from home isnt working for him. Close to me there is hireable office space at 10 pounds a day. Anything near you like that? Sympathies but this will be all summer

Personally, I would at least try tostop my kids screaming constantly, but I think my threshold for noise and your husband's would be quite different.

You can only hope for a rainy summer holidays.