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Original poster

How to deal with people not liking you?

114 replies

prettyinpink23x · 14/07/2021 21:22

Hi everyone,
I try my best to be as nice as possible and go out of my way to help people. I heard today some people in work have been talking negatively about me because I got a promotion. I get its human nature, I’ve gossiped about people but how do I get over people not liking me? I probably need to get a thicker skin but I’m quite sensitive.
Is there a way to get over this? My self esteem is quite low anyway.

OP posts:
PearlNextDoor · 14/07/2021 22:06

I used to agonise over people not liking me but now, i am less wound up with it. I know it's somebody's prerogative not to like me but... what's not to like! Im funny kind good company supportive to my friends.... i have had a couple of experiences where a covert scapegoating narcissist set out to exclude me from a group and that felt different.

enjoyingscience · 14/07/2021 22:07

I know I’m not universally liked at work. Most people I get in great with, get lovely feedback from my team and boss. None of the people who dislike really know me, and probably never will. Couldn’t give a fuck what they think really, and I waste no time trying to prove to them I’m likeable.

Planty13 · 14/07/2021 22:11

I am generally nice to people. So if they don’t like me I don’t really care. I know it’s not because I’m impolite so it’s their issue and not mine.

PoorPawsPickPawpaws · 14/07/2021 22:11

Aisi sera groigne qui groigne

Grin
RainingZen · 14/07/2021 22:12

I'd get round this by being absolutely incredible at my job. It leaves the haters standing in the dust, gawping after your meteoric career success.

eeeeeeeeh · 14/07/2021 22:14

I remember reading somewhere that if you ever care about certain people not liking you think about what you think of them, that usually turns it on it's head

TheVanguardSix · 14/07/2021 22:15

You don’t even like everyone, OP, so who cares if they don’t like you? You just look after you. Self love. Self respect. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. Flowers

goddessofmischief · 14/07/2021 22:16

@PoorPawsPickPawpaws

Aisi sera groigne qui groigne

Grin

*Ainsi, but yeah. I have this tattooed on my ribs Grin
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/07/2021 22:18

They don't dislike you

They dislike anyone who bothers to better themselves and people like this should be avoided like the plague.

The current job I'm in, I replaced a much loved teacher who was super popular with staff but left after butting heads with the Head. As a result, and because I'm not doing grovelling apologies about replacing Gerald, I am disliked by about 60% of the staff.

My secret to dealing with it: I don't care what people think. It's a learned and worthwhile skill

santabetterwashhishands · 14/07/2021 22:19

I just don't give a feck 🤷‍♀️
I'm not going to lose sleep worrying if people like me or not x

DrSbaitso · 14/07/2021 22:19

Why do you need to be liked by everyone?

How about if you don't like them?

XenoBitch · 14/07/2021 22:19

There will always be people who don't like you, even when there seems to be absolutely no rational reason for them doing so.

You can't control what they think of you, but you can control how you react.

ObviousNameChage · 14/07/2021 22:22

It's easy. I don't like them either.

I also keep myself to myself so if they do bitch it's either made up or clutching at straws, which is ridiculous and I find hilarious.

"Ohhh x only wants to work with Obvious because she does so much!" . Well...duh! Grin

godmum56 · 14/07/2021 22:23

@SilverOak

Don’t give a shit. That’s really the only solution.
this
GroggyLegs · 14/07/2021 22:25

I'm an auditor so NOBODY likes me at work Grin I genuinely DGAF.

Separate out work you & you. They're different. Work you has a job & responsibilities and has to act a certain way. It's not you.

Do your job, stay professional, hold your head high, take the money and go home to real life & the people who love you.

TSSDNCOP · 14/07/2021 22:25

Lots of people I work with don't like me for one reason or another; every time it will be because I am better at whatever it is than them, or they can't have what they want.

I smile, I do chit chat and then I go home in the certain knowledge that my managers are satisfied, and these people are not coming to my house for Christmas dinner.

Bargebill19 · 14/07/2021 22:29

When I was younger, I used to say to myself there are millions of people out there, what does it matter what one person thinks. Now I’m older it’s just that I truly don’t care what someone thinks of me. As pp said it’s like a switch flicks once you are last a certain age and a great benefit.
Fwiw. They are probably jealous of your promotion - so congratulations on your promotion 🎊

Ladywinesalot · 14/07/2021 22:38

Op I’ve spent most of my life like you.
I needed people to like me and care for me, so it would mean my existence was worth while.

Because I thought like this I attracted a lot of narsestic people who would use me and treat me like shit.

In my 40s now I’m learning to be at peace that it’s ok not to people please and be liked by everyone.
Most people are not nice and what is important us that I like myself.

Like yourself first and that’s all that matters.

Weebleweeble · 14/07/2021 22:44

People don't especially like nice people - they can show up what miserable selfish so and sos they are. People like funny people that make them laugh. So stop being nice, just be normal, and stop caring about what others think or say.

Bloodypunkrockers · 14/07/2021 22:47

@Zenithbear

They're just jealous and bitter.
Really. How childish

OP as other posters have said as you get older you care less

I tend to find those that don't like me are no great loss so I don't lose any sleep over it

DoingItMyself · 14/07/2021 22:49

Love yourself. Love yourself more when you're faced with non-love from others.

I'm a bloody expert.

Fthisshitimdone · 14/07/2021 22:51

This was me with my in-laws. I did nothing but be nice and very compliant with their family but they disliked me anyway. I used to get really down about it and always dreaded seeing them. Now I am just indifferent. Because of how they’ve behaved, I actually do not like them, so why should I care anymore? I still play along to a point but really I’m done with them.

TheFoundations · 14/07/2021 22:53

@DoingItMyself

Love yourself. Love yourself more when you're faced with non-love from others.

I'm a bloody expert.

This is so common sense, and yet so the opposite of what we normally do.

Thanks for posting your expertise Grin I'll be taking this tip with me.

BillMasheen · 14/07/2021 22:53

@TheFoundations

Like yourself. Then nobody else has to do the liking you need to keep you happy.
This. In spades.
Frazzledd · 14/07/2021 22:54

I tend to avoid people who try to befriend everyone like the plague, especially if they're known for a bit of a gossip. There's something that screams dishonesty to me there.

Also, why do you feel you have to go out of your way to help people? Do people need your help often?

I don't know OP, you probably an absolutely lovely person, but you sound like you have a real need to be liked by everyone, I think you just need to accept that your not.

Plus some people are right bitches, they're some of my best friends and I trust them and they're brutal honesty more than the noddy smiley lot!

It's okay not to like people, and it's okay for them not to like you - 'strive to be happy' .