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AIBU?

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Original poster

Grandparents

104 replies

CandyFloss31 · 14/07/2021 19:35

So I am pregnant (first child) and my ILs want to be known as Mama and Papa. For context, these are the names their other grandchildren call them. DH and I really don’t like it though. It feels way too much like Mum and Dad to us. Would we be unreasonable to suggest they use different names for our children??

OP posts:
LemonRoses · 14/07/2021 19:37

I don't think you get to decide how other adults' choose to be addressed.

Sirzy · 14/07/2021 19:37

If other grandchildren call them that anyway it will probably catch on no matter what.

Personally I don’t see any issue with what they call them. They will still know who is who

Nightmanagerfan · 14/07/2021 19:38

I thought we would be mummy and daddy, but my son called me mama. I would never have predicted jt. I’d be pissed off if MiL was mama too!

TotorosCatBus · 14/07/2021 19:39

They are too close to mama and dada which is probably what you'll be called at first. What does your h think ? It's going to be hard to not do the same as the other gc

Use627 · 14/07/2021 19:39

If their other grandchildren call them it wouldn't it be confusing? My grandparents like to be called the french for grandma and grandad which is mamie and grandpapa/papa and it's never been an issue:)

hummasandcondensedmilk · 14/07/2021 19:39

Mama is weird, definitely another name for mum/mummy! I know a few peoples grandads from when I was a child who went by papa though.
Just keep saying hi nanny hi grandad if that is what you want. Your children will end up looking to you for what their names are and I very much doubt anyone would make a scene about it even if they were disappointed they didn't get their preferred names.

KingdomScrolls · 14/07/2021 19:41

I really tried to instill grandma because I hate nan/nanny DS calls my mum nanny because that's what she calls herself and it's what my DNa call her. I've given up.

walkoflifewoohoo · 14/07/2021 19:42

I'd be teaching it from a young age to call her "Graaaandmamaaa" as flamboyantly as possible 😂

mutedrainbows · 14/07/2021 19:43

I've definitely heard of Papa as a substitute for grandad/grandpa but Mama would be a no from me!

girlmom21 · 14/07/2021 19:46

Nah I think that's weird!

SleepingStandingUp · 14/07/2021 19:48

@LemonRoses

I don't think you get to decide how other adults' choose to be addressed.
So if your DM or DMIL tells your child to call them Mommy you'd be totally ok with it?
boathemianrhapsody · 14/07/2021 19:48

Papa I don’t think is too weird, my dad is called Pops by my DC. Mama is too close to mum tough

PotteringAlong · 14/07/2021 19:48

If that’s what their other grandchildren call them then I don’t think you’re going to change it.

They’re not going to get confused between their parents and grandparents!

boathemianrhapsody · 14/07/2021 19:48

*though

LienD · 14/07/2021 19:50

Do they have a Dutch/Flemish link? That's exactly what we say here in Belgium and Holland to our parents.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/07/2021 19:50

DS decided I was Mama up unt 4 / 5 ish. Regardless of other influences, that what he called me. I'm sad now I'm just Mom but Def wouldn't be ok with anyone else being called Mama. DH wouldn't like to be called Papa so might be less bothered.

I'd teach them grandma and grandpa

Ughmaybenot · 14/07/2021 19:50

Nah I wouldn’t be keen on that. Papa is okay, but plenty of kids, especially when they’re young, call their mother mama.

GintyMcGinty · 14/07/2021 19:51

Its up to them to decide what they are called.

Even if you try to go for something different if all the cousins call them that it will end up that by default anyway.

One of my grandfathers was called Papa. I had no problem understanding he was my grandparent and not my Dad.

mbosnz · 14/07/2021 19:52

My grandfather was known as Poppy. (Prat that he was).

What about Grandmum or Gma?

I don't think anyone gets to appropriate the titles commonly given to Mum and Dad, if the Mum and Dad object.

MrJsBs · 14/07/2021 19:59

I wouldn't like someone else to use Mama because that was the closest my DC could say to Mummy for a little while when they first started to talk. Grandmama fine.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 14/07/2021 19:59

Mama is mum, I wouldn't like it. Just keep calling her grandma. Papa is a normal grandpa name though I think.

Nuggetnugget · 14/07/2021 20:00

My dc call me mamma (came up with it themselves) so I think it's too close to mother.
Gran or Nanna / grandpa is perfect surely for them

CoalCraft · 14/07/2021 20:01

I don't think it would be a good idea to have your kids use different names to their cousins. It will make them seem apart from them and they may feel different/other.

quizqueen · 14/07/2021 20:02

Call them grandma and grandpa and tell them the truth that you think those names they want are too close to mummy and daddy. It's not their call what you refer to them as but your kids will probably chose for themselves.

HalzTangz · 14/07/2021 20:02

Why not suggest Nana and Papa as a compromise. I've always called my grandparents that