Grandparents

[CandyFloss31]

So I am pregnant (first child) and my ILs want to be known as Mama and Papa. For context, these are the names their other grandchildren call them. DH and I really don’t like it though. It feels way too much like Mum and Dad to us. Would we be unreasonable to suggest they use different names for our children??

I don't think you get to decide how other adults' choose to be addressed

You do if they want your young children to call them mum and dad.

It's your child and up to you what they be addressed as. Mama is what most babies refer to their mother as; that is so wrong!

Why not the 'Beach Boys'? Same sort of era.

We called a grandfather on one side Papa ‘name’ or just Papa and it was because his children didn’t! I really liked having something different from everyone else. It wasn’t confusing as everyone I knew called their own fathers Dad or Daddy.

I’d just add their first names on the end.

It's the pronunciation it's said Mammar and Pappar here in the East Midlands

I've heard of granny and papa

Mama no way I'd have to put foot down unless dh says it's fine as frankly u cant force it and cant be that direct with his parents that's his job.

I also dislike nan or nanny but cant force Dh and DC to call his mum anything else so I have to accept

I stick to grandma!

That would be a hard no from me, I can't believe the other parents put up with it.

If you refer to them as nanny/pops/gran etc you children will copy you. They are with you all the time. Or you could encourage something unique based on how your child pronounces your choice.

I don't think you get to decide how other adults' choose to be addressed

What? Of course parents can have a say over what grandparents are called.
If you don't think it's appropriate then don't encourage your DC to call them that. They can call themselves that but it doesn't mean you have to to along with it. Not at all. And 'mama' particularly is not something i'd want my DC calling grandma, I often go my mama as their mum.

weird imo. especially mama

My MIL is from another culture and tried to insist on being called 'Mummy Hername' when my DS was tiny.

In fairness she came from a background where that was normal, but she was also a massive control freak so it was a hard no from me.

I'd just say that you'd prefer the DC to figure out what they like to call you themselves (and prep them thoroughly behind the scenes 😉)...

I'm not sure that it's actually your choice though.
Often, the name evolves , eg 'gangan' or 'grandad flowers.'
However , if older grandchildren have established a precedent, then surely your children would follow suit.
It's tricky , but I'm not sure that you can dictate this.
I don't want to be called 'Nanny' but if this evolves then I'll accept this. If my grandchild has other grandparents then obviously we will have to compromise, as will they.
Our grandchildren will possibly still have great grandparents. They will have names too.

Chill.

Grandmama and Poppy?

You could suggest the French Mémé perhaps? Close to Mama, but a different vowel sound that children find easy to say.

In my mum’s language mama and mami is the word for maternal uncle & his wife and mama is also the word for mum. I have never known kids to be confused about how they are using those terms and to whom.

Have the kids call her Meemaw, I was Mama until all the kids were about 6 or so then they switched to Mom or Momma when whinging.

To be fair, mama and dada don't stick for very long! My daughter was calling us mummy and daddy before she hit 2! I think it depends on what they're like usually, if they're going to be loving supportive grandparents and help and support you then I would let it be, if it's going to be the first in a long line of overstepped boundaries then I'd challenge it

Middle kid called my Mom Gamgam. Not a clue where he got that one from. But it didn't last long.

Nonna, which I think is the Italian for grandmother. Nonna and Papa? Or Nana and Papa. I have heard of Papa for a grandad. Not Mama though.

My PIL are Ma and Pa. Sort of said Mar and Par 😁 Maybe that's a good compromise? The cousins might even adopt it because it's that bit simpler? Mama is a bit too cheeky!

I don’t know if it’s a regional thing but I called one of my grandma’s, mama pronounced somewhere between “mam-mar” and “mom-mar” and that’s what all the female grandparents from that side of the family use. As it doesn’t sound anything like mummy/mum, it’s never been an issue.

My children have a nana and pappa, I'm granny and my husband is Grampy as is my dad

Please don't micromanage. Mama and Papa are their names . Is your DC so special that they can't fit into the family? Let your DC slot in like their cousins. What you think , imo is irrelevant.

We called ours Nana and Grandad. Cousins called them Nana and Poppa (yep, that spelling). My DM came up with her own individual name she wanted to be called, kids made up their own variation that then caught on with my Dsis kids.

I wonder if an aunt told the kids to call them Mommy if people would be white so cool about "you can't choose someone else's name"

@CasparBloomberg

I don’t know if it’s a regional thing but I called one of my grandma’s, mama pronounced somewhere between “mam-mar” and “mom-mar” and that’s what all the female grandparents from that side of the family use. As it doesn’t sound anything like mummy/mum, it’s never been an issue.

I also doesn't sound like mama. That's the point. Mama is a mother's name. Pronounced mammar isn't