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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradespeople using the loo

464 replies

JeanneDoe · 14/07/2021 09:53

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
viques · 14/07/2021 12:42

all of us in my family prefer to contain bowel movements in the house

I expect it’s just me who has a mental image of the poster and family bravely holding the front and back doors closed against a tsunami of bowel movements sweeping down the stairs, through the hall and kitchen desperate for freedom.........

Not a poo troll, honestly.

Gothichouse40 · 14/07/2021 12:42

I don't have a problem with anyone who is in my house using the toilet, including work people who are doing a service for me. I do agree, the person should have asked though. I would just clean/bleach toilet/bathroom after use. Everyone has to use toilet and toilets smell at times. Even if your family use them. The chap was possibly desperate and I can sympathise there. I think toilet provision in this country is awful in general. The Councils have closed some public toilets and have used Covid-19 as an excuse for doing so.

ElephantOfRisk · 14/07/2021 12:44

Think about all the "heroes" in the NHS that might have difficulty accessing a toilet because of the nature of their work. DH is out and about all day and generally using the toilets when he is dropping off or picking up from a hospital. However sometimes it's care homes and during restrictions he wasn't allowed on the premises. He covers a rural area at times, sometimes he can go to a supermarket but their times can be tight trying to get people in the right place for appointments. He has at times managed to pop home but that's only practical if he's in the vicinity as they are tracked by control. He's never asked to use a patients home but it's been close.

Presumably as he is a hero he'd be offered the use of even the most uptight of MN loos? Lesser beings of tradespeople obviously can go fuck themselves...

As I say as long as they clear up after themselves I don't have a problem.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/07/2021 12:45

I would never poo in someone else’s house.

Aside from the fact that many, many people simply don't have the luxury of being able to hold on indefinitely (and this disproportionately affects women).... does your job involve travelling from home to home all day? Does your own workplace have toilets for staff to use, or do they make you go back home every time you need a poo?

BungleandGeorge · 14/07/2021 12:45

I’ve had this, and the worst bit left skid marks as well. I think it’s quite rude not to ask, or just apologise if you’ve made a mess, or just clean it up/ put the fan on/ open a window yourself! It’s the walking off and leaving it in a state that’s rude.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/07/2021 12:48

I would just clean/bleach toilet/bathroom after use

Do you clean and bleach the toilet after every use by you and other members of your household @Gothichouse40?

Surely not? So why would you feel the need to do so if a tradesperson used it?

BungleandGeorge · 14/07/2021 12:56

@BarbaraofSeville

I would just clean/bleach toilet/bathroom after use

Do you clean and bleach the toilet after every use by you and other members of your household @Gothichouse40?

Surely not? So why would you feel the need to do so if a tradesperson used it?

Since covid we leave the downstairs loo for guests use when he have visitors and clean it before/ after and change towels just got into the habit of it. I don’t think I’m a clean freak but hate stomach bugs so if someone did a suspect smelly poo yes I’d antibac the area (discreetly!)
JudgeRindersMinder · 14/07/2021 12:58

[quote DaphneDeloresMoorhead]@Gameofbones bung your DH my way, I provide endless drinks, cake/biscuits and unrestricted access to the loo to anyone working in our house 😂
I usually make the plasterer a bacon roll with his tea[/quote]
That’s how I operate too-add in home baking and soup if it’s winter-worth keeping them onside!😂

onlyhereforthecake · 14/07/2021 13:00

@BarbaraofSeville

I would just clean/bleach toilet/bathroom after use

Do you clean and bleach the toilet after every use by you and other members of your household @Gothichouse40?

Surely not? So why would you feel the need to do so if a tradesperson used it?

because in real life you consider strangers the same way you consider family members, of course you do Grin
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 14/07/2021 13:01

@Gameofbones

My dh is an electrician and to be honest I’m sick to the back fucking teeth of people looking down on him as though he is some kind of lesser mortal.

He is rarely if ever offered a drink when he is working on a house all day not even a glass of water and doesn’t matter how hot it is.

During the pandemic last year someone actually asked him to climb through a window rather than use the door. I told him to tell him to stick the job.

It’s a bodily function I’m sure you go to the loo in the office or shop or wherever you work.

He also notes that the more money people seem to have the tighter and more snobby they are. Particularly new money. It’s hideous.

100% agree

If a tradesperson is working in your home, that's their workplace. They should be welcome to have a glass of water, use the loo etc. as needed.

If you're not prepared to offer a comfortable working environment, tradespeople should feel perfectly entitled to tell you to fuck off when you ask them to do work for you.

onlyhereforthecake · 14/07/2021 13:02

WaterBottle123
speak for yourself, I don't use my phone in the loo!

Maggiesfarm · 14/07/2021 13:03

[quote JeanneDoe]@IntermittentParps
(Very apt user name for this thread)

Thinking about it I still feel that it’s good manners for people to ask to use the toilet. But yes, I think it’s the fact that he did a poo bothered me if I’m honest. I get that this is unreasonable by the way. I would never poo in someone else’s house.

Again I get that this is a personal foible, although I sense that there are a fair few others on the thread who feels the same way.[/quote]
I wouldn't like pooing in someone else's house either but, honestly, sometimes you have to go. After leaving you he may have had a fifteen minute drive or so - and then not found anyone in.

Is it really such a big deal? I accept he should have asked but you wouldn't have said, "No".

Toilet smells are easily dealt with and soon go.

Maggiesfarm · 14/07/2021 13:05

Gameofbones, just saw your post. I'm appalled that anyone would look down on an electrician - or anyone, frankly. An electrician is a highly skilled person and we rely on people like that. Sheesh!

ElephantOfRisk · 14/07/2021 13:14

I had plumbers and associate trades in my house for a few weeks replacing the bathrooms and toilets so the availability and use of a toilet was very much in their control! When I was at home i'd make tea and offer biscuits and snacks and told them to help themselves to anything (including cold drinks from the fridge if required) when I wasn't home. The thing they told me they appreciated the most was that I told them that they could use the dining table to sit and have their lunch/breaks rather than feeling that they had to go sit in the van in January and also that they could use the microwave and toaster as well as the kettle. They did a fantastic job for a decent price and enjoyed being treated as human beings which it seems isn't always the case.

Gameofbones · 14/07/2021 13:16

Honestly I could cry for him. It’s disgusting the way he is spoken to and treated. All a bit condescending. And also this do it cheaper for cash shit?? You can’t spend bloody cash! Anywhere!

onlyhereforthecake · 14/07/2021 13:20

@Gameofbones

Honestly I could cry for him. It’s disgusting the way he is spoken to and treated. All a bit condescending. And also this do it cheaper for cash shit?? You can’t spend bloody cash! Anywhere!
in fairness, most tradesmen I work with are happy to give a discount for cash in hand - even if it's usually them who offer, and if it's for part of the invoice, not the full quote.🤷

You can still use cash!

Gameofbones · 14/07/2021 13:31

A lot of electrical work if it’s worth it’s salt is certified so there is a paper trail. Changing a light yup fine take cash for that. Rewiring a house nope.

onlyhereforthecake · 14/07/2021 13:43

As no one will be behind your back checking if you worked (and charged ) half a day or a full day, some people still offer.

No one has to agree, it's not even legal let's be honest, but it's not insulting to ask.

Chubbychubkins · 14/07/2021 13:46

And those saying "use a public loo" be happy if the tradesperson charged them for the hour they spent getting to, and using, a public loo?

FuckingFabulous · 14/07/2021 13:54

I do understand where you're coming from. It's grim but it's even worse when they don't ask. When we had workmen in renovating, they had their own portaloo on the driveway, so you can imagine my confusion when the following happened. I walked into my house after the school run to be greeted by a massive wave of poo stench. I assumed the dog had relieved herself on the kitchen floor. Nothing there so I rushed into the new utility room where there was also a small toilet which had just been connected, fearful it was back flowing from the sewer or something. Except, no. One of the workmen was sitting on the loo, no door yet installed, and he was red and contorted in the face, straining and shitting. He would have had to have climbed the back fence to get in through the back door, because the front was locked! He wasn't a young lad either, late 40s. I can't be sure of what I said, but I think it was "oh my god!"as I backed out. He flushed, left through the front door, and I had to ask his boss how the fuck he got into my house and why he didn't use the toilet I literally paid for them to have out there. He didn't know what to say.

Googlewasmyidea1 · 14/07/2021 13:56

@BungleandGeorge I don’t think I’m a clean freak but hate stomach bugs so if someone did a suspect smelly poo yes I’d antibac the area

So if someone does a smelly poo that means they have a stomach bug?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/07/2021 14:23

I would never poo in someone else’s house

I must have a weaker constitution than most because when I need to go I can't wait until I get home. It's not healthy to hold poo's in.

Some of you should travel to different parts of the world where you poo in public in a hole in the ground with the toilet door open. This ridiculous notion that a daily bodily function is shameful or embarrassing is something ill never get my head around. Is it a British thing?

UnChatNoir · 14/07/2021 14:27

I would never poo in someone else’s house

Lucky you don't have IBS or similar, then.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/07/2021 14:43

And those saying "use a public loo" be happy if the tradesperson charged them for the hour they spent getting to, and using, a public loo?

Extremely good point.

I must have a weaker constitution than most because when I need to go I can't wait until I get home. It's not healthy to hold poo's in.

I've seen a number of threads on here where people - well, exclusively women, it seems - refuse to poo anywhere but at home and will probably end up training their bodies out of functioning normally, with who knows what additional health problems being shored up.

It's not healthy, it's not taking the moral high ground, it's unnatural and I truly hope sufferers seek and obtain the help they need to overcome it.

Lockdownbear · 14/07/2021 14:52

@FuckingFabulous portaloos are never the pleasantast things to use. I can see why he'd opt for a plumbed in loo, esp if he needed a dump, even without a door. Pity about your timing.