Tradespeople using the loo

[JeanneDoe]

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

Why do you have a bed if not for going to sleep in it? Does it mean a tradesman can pop in there for a nap, or lay down if they feel a bit fragile?
Behave.

@JeanneDoe

Ok thanks for the opinions. I’d have of course said yes, but surely it is just good manners to ask.

As I said I know I’m unreasonable being precious about people using the loo, mainly poo related. For what it’s worth, all of us in my house prefer to contain bowel movements to the house.
Anyway I’m not losing any sleep over it.
Husband down there at the moment giving it a clean. Result.

It's good that you can hold it in. I prefer to poo at home but I no longer have the luxury.

all of us in my house prefer to contain bowel movements to the house

The dinner table conversation in your house must be pretty different to mine. Even after living together for 30 years, I don't know my DHs shitting preferences; nor those of any of our DC.

And holidays must get very uncomfortable for your family after a day or so!

My dh is an electrician and to be honest I’m sick to the back fucking teeth of people looking down on him as though he is some kind of lesser mortal.

He is rarely if ever offered a drink when he is working on a house all day not even a glass of water and doesn’t matter how hot it is.

During the pandemic last year someone actually asked him to climb through a window rather than use the door. I told him to tell him to stick the job.

It’s a bodily function I’m sure you go to the loo in the office or shop or wherever you work.

He also notes that the more money people seem to have the tighter and more snobby they are. Particularly new money. It’s hideous.

🤣 would you have preferred he has had an accident on your carpet instead?

What is the world coming to! 🤣🤣🤣

I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

So if he’d asked to use the loo… would you have agreed on the condition it was a pee only and NO DUMPS allowed?!

What was he supposed to do? He might've had a curry the might before, or have a medical condition etc.

Or just the normal need for the loo on occasion.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I imagine he would've asked if you were around, but didn't want to intrude if you were upstairs etc.

LalalalalalaLand123

you can't play the "it's not the same thing" card just because it doesn't fit your narrative. Who's being disingenuous here...

@onlyhereforthecake

Why do you have a toilet if not for going for a poo in it?

what a stupid comment.

Why do you have a bed if not for going to sleep in it? Does it mean a tradesman can pop in there for a nap, or lay down if they feel a bit fragile?

Why do you have a garden if not for people to use it? Does it mean any random can come and suntan or let their kids play in it? (see another thread...)

Exactly! You have things in your house that you don't let strangers use, a loo can be one of them!

What????.... if we have tradesmen in the house, the first thing I do is show them where the loo is and tell them to let me know if/when they'd like a brew.

I mostly get annoyed if someone asks to use the loo and then leaves it in a mess. I felt similarly annoyed by one who left the kitchen messy though after using it for their lunch break, so generally it just comes down to respect. They are welcome to use the loo/kitchen/make tea/keep shoes on etc. but should treat my home as a home, not as some random public place where the cleaners will sort it after...

Why do you have a bed if not for going to sleep in it? Does it mean a tradesman can pop in there for a nap, or lay down if they feel a bit fragile?

Of course its not the same bloody thing. Beyond ridiculous to try and argue that it is. Nothing to do with anyone's "narrative".

@Sweetpeasaremadeforbees

Anyway I'm glad most people are happy to have strangers shit in their houses because hopefully that makes them less likely to need to one in mine!

I agree, although it's not particularly the pooing that worries me, it's the fact that men are statistically less likely to wash their hands afterwards. At least I know my DH washes his hands (because he says that most men in public loos are completely gross and never wash their hands at all).

We had builders for a while and they asked every time they needed the loo even though I told them they didn't need to. So I think a tradesman you don't know in your house for an hour or so should ask.

Yes, that's the biggest issue- strange men (I think it's only 1 in 4 men that washes their hands after the toilet!) using your loo and then proceeding get their faecal bacteria on surfaces both in the loo itself and around the house.

but should treat my home as a home, not as some random public place where the cleaners will sort it after...

What?

@onlyhereforthecake
@emilylily

If you both feel that a toilet in your house is off-limits to tradespeople working in your house, in the same way that your bed is, well that is your opinion and you're entitled to it. Personally I find that a very odd and snobbish opinion, and I feel very differently.

I don't mind tradespeople using the loo, i'd also allow a delivery person if they asked. But, in general I like to be asked if I'm at home and i'd expect them to clean up after themselves. There are wipes and spray and air freshner in there. I could appreciate that if he thought you were working and it was urgent he might have just gone but I would also expect him to say that he'd had to use the toilet urgently and sorry for not asking beforehand.

I think i might be on a list with British Gas as virtually every person who comes to service the boiler or do a repair asks for the loo.

Why do you have a bed if not for going to sleep in it? Does it mean a tradesman can pop in there for a nap, or lay down if they feel a bit fragile?

It's definitely not the same thing - it's a bodily function that may or not been able to have been controlled at the time. Reasonable people recognise that.

But as pp said, you expect use of the loo to be treated with some respect and flushed or seat wiped or whatever after use.

LalalalalalaLand123

obviously you are free to have any opinion over the way anyone uses your own house.

If having some standards means being called snobbish, I take that.

It wouldn’t have bothered me what he did in the toilet so long as it was left clean (that’s what toilets are for, after all) but it would have bothered me that he didn’t ask first. It’s just polite to ask someone if you can use their loo isn’t it? Especially someone you don’t know?

These threads actually make me feel a bit sad.

I’d hate to think of anyone, worker or otherwise, being in my house and feeling physically uncomfortable because they need to use a toilet and think that they can’t or shouldn’t use the one in my home. When I need to go it soon brings on cramps (this is a fairly recent thing in the last few years) and it’s stressful and hard to think of anything else if I’m not near a toilet.

The way some people turn their noses up at “tradesmen” on here is awful. They are still human beings, someone’s son, brother, dad. The idea of denying someone a basic human need because it might leave a smell or mess is depressing.

Even though we live on the outskirts of a town it would take about 15 minutes to drive to a supermarket with public toilet, it’s not fair to expect someone do do that when they’re partway through a job and nature is calling.

@Summergarden

These threads actually make me feel a bit sad.

I’d hate to think of anyone, worker or otherwise, being in my house and feeling physically uncomfortable because they need to use a toilet and think that they can’t or shouldn’t use the one in my home. When I need to go it soon brings on cramps (this is a fairly recent thing in the last few years) and it’s stressful and hard to think of anything else if I’m not near a toilet.

The way some people turn their noses up at “tradesmen” on here is awful. They are still human beings, someone’s son, brother, dad. The idea of denying someone a basic human need because it might leave a smell or mess is depressing.

Even though we live on the outskirts of a town it would take about 15 minutes to drive to a supermarket with public toilet, it’s not fair to expect someone do do that when they’re partway through a job and nature is calling.

I agree with all of that. Maybe it's a MN thing but in my RL this is not a big deal at all. If you think of all the jobs people do visiting customer's/patient's homes where do people think all these people go to the loo?

Why do you have a bed if not for going to sleep in it? Does it mean a tradesman can pop in there for a nap, or lay down if they feel a bit fragile?

Why do you have a garden if not for people to use it? Does it mean any random can come and suntan or let their kids play in it? (see another thread...)

They're for the private use of the householder and anybody they've chosen to invite into their home.

Somebody coming to service the burglar alarm most probably doesn't need to stay overnight, so they won't need the use of a bed, but they might need a toilet at any time: sleeping times are normally planned in advance, but this luxury can't be guaranteed for most of us when it comes to needing to use the toilet.

I agree with PP that many people look down on tradesmen, and it's a horrible attitude. Thread after thread on here, people complain about tradesmen parking their vans in the street outside their homes, but suddenly those same people have no problem at all about the plumber parking that same van outside their home when they need his services. Tradesmen are humans too, and they need drinks and toilet facilities like the rest of us.

Maybe the government should bring in new legislation stipulating that, when a tradesperson is invited to your home to do work for you, it is incumbent on you to provide adequate toilet facilities for them and inform them on arrival of the arrangements. Most of us would just say "no problem - of course he's welcome to use the loo" but those who object to this can, if they prefer, arrange and pay for a portaloo to be installed outside their house, just in case it's needed, and then to be taken away afterwards.

I'll bet that would suddenly make people decide that letting somebody nip to use their toilet for standard toilet-based duties is actually not a problem after all. I'm only half-joking, really - most other professions have basic workplace rights guaranteed in law, so unless we train robots to completely replace all workmen, why should they be discriminated against? It's a good thing that most tradespeople tend to have a practical turn-up-and-get-on-with-it attitude rather than spending ages fretting over such unimportant fripperies.

🤣🤣🤣 sorry OP your post made my day!!! I feel your pain and I wouldn’t like it either. One day a tradie peed all over my toilet floor. So gross!

@RedRiverShore

Is it just tradesmen that shouldn't use the loo or tradeswomen as well as these threads are usually about men

My MIL is a gardener and is regularly told she can't use the toilet at customers houses. She keeps a camping loo in the back of her van now. Awful. I can't imagine telling a 50+yr old woman (very neat and tidy looking, very professional so no concerns about being about to rob the silver candlesticks ) that she can't use the loo when she's in the garden for a full day!!

@IntermittentParps
(Very apt user name for this thread)

Thinking about it I still feel that it’s good manners for people to ask to use the toilet. But yes, I think it’s the fact that he did a poo bothered me if I’m honest. I get that this is unreasonable by the way. I would never poo in someone else’s house.

Again I get that this is a personal foible, although I sense that there are a fair few others on the thread who feels the same way.