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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradespeople using the loo

464 replies

JeanneDoe · 14/07/2021 09:53

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:27

@PeterPomegranate

I would like to be asked but I guess asking creates the possibility the home owner might say no. I would also avoid doing a poo at someone else’s house but sometimes you just have to go!
Has anyone ever said no to a polite request to use their loo? Confused I know in this case he didn't ask but you would have said yes anyway presumably @JeanneDoe?

Or do you ask them if it's for a wee or a poo and decide accordingly?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/07/2021 10:29

Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.

You don't need one - as you've discovered, normally, your nose will suffice Grin

I do agree, though: if his job involves going from house to house, even if just for a few minutes at each one, he is going to need to go somewhere.

He probably should have asked, but maybe he was really desperate (could have IBS or Crohn's or similar), frightened that you may say no or otherwise react negatively and didn't really want the whole awkward "but I'm touching cloth!" conversation.

I do agree with PP, though: if somebody visiting your house needs a poo and quietly goes off to do the poo in the facility that you had installed in your home for the express purpose of enabling people to do a poo (and other), that's mainly a win, isn't it? I think it would have been far worse if he'd curled one into your kettle or sat astride your wheelie bin with his trousers down, wouldn't it?!

BarbaraofSeville · 14/07/2021 10:29

@Sparklingbrook

Yay. 'A tradesperson uses a toilet for it's purpose' thread. Things really are getting back to normal around here. Grin YABU.
Indeed Grin.

Maybe he was desperate, people with certain medical conditions or if he was ill don't always have time to ask, or maybe he didn't want to disturb you while you were working?

But I don't understand the difference between using your own house toilet or one elsewhere, that's what they're all for, surely you go when you need to go, whether you are at home or elsewhere?

Plus it's a bit over the top to rush to clean a toilet just because it's been used by someone who's not part of your immediate household. Who does that?

grapewine · 14/07/2021 10:29

It's a toilet not a porcelain throne. Stop being so precious.

angstridden2 · 14/07/2021 10:32

Motion sensor 😄

Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:33

Do you remember the thread where the poster was having some roofing done? Stick their head out of the skylight to see if he wanted a cuppa and he was mid point on the roof.

Now that was unreasonable.

Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:34

Mid poo even.

aubreyii · 14/07/2021 10:34

He should have crapped before leaving for work. Like most people.

Bubblemonkey · 14/07/2021 10:34

Would you rather be shit in your garden?

Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:35

@aubreyii

He should have crapped before leaving for work. Like most people.
Maybe he’s not a regular kind of guy. Maybe he didn’t need one before work. Confused
Daisylookslost · 14/07/2021 10:35

I would of rather he asked because this is polite but more importantly BECAUSE our downstairs loo is a cheap saniflow thing that cannot be used for poos under any circumstances. This is not obvious when looking at it though. There is a note in there warning people but he could of missed this. As a tradesperson who was not on a long visit, assuming (stupidly?) he would not use loo or at least ask beforehand, I may not have thought to warn him about this upfront, as I do with any general new visitors. Flush it with poo in and I can only imagine the literal shitshow that would follow in which case I would have lost my shit Shock

Yepyes · 14/07/2021 10:35

Seriously?
You'd stop someone from using your toilet?

Tradespeople using the loo
Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:36

A toilet that can’t cope with poo? Sad

Shedbuilder · 14/07/2021 10:36

I work in the construction business and employ tradespeople. I think if someone's working in your house for several hours it's unreasonable of the householder to object to workers using the loo on the premises.

But in the case of someone servicing burglar alarms, who's presumably only on the premises for an hour or so, I would have expected him to have stopped at a public loo or bought a coffee in a cafe on his way to you and used their facilities.

Everyone gets caught short occasionally, but the situation you describe does sound unnecessary.

Moiraroseswigs · 14/07/2021 10:36

I really can't see the issue with someone using a toilet for its intended purpose. Very surprised that people think that tradesmen should spend their time between jobs seeking out public or supermarket toilets.

I also don't have a problem with him not asking. Sounds like he was walking around the house looking at alarm points, saw where the loo was so used it. Would you actually have said no if he asked? If not, what difference would it have made?

You say you don't like anyone who doesn't live in your house using your toilet for a poo, does this work both ways - would you sit uncomfortably in a friend's house rather than use the toilet? I would much rather visitors to my home are comfortable and feel welcome enough to use the bathroom for whatever they need. Only issue I would have would be if they left a horrible mess for me to clean up, which doesn't seem to be the case here.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/07/2021 10:36

Husband down there at the moment giving it a clean. Result.

Do you normally clean your toilet after every single poo? I don't just mean leave it clean, but actually properly clean it? Or is it just because it's a 'foreign' poo?

Either way, I don't think he was trying to be aggressive - it doesn't normally count as a dirty protest (at least not a very effective one) if somebody does it in an actual toilet and then flushes it.

Brefugee · 14/07/2021 10:36

Give him a bucket in the garden next time...

Or, get over yourself. He's got to go somewhere. It's a toilet that's what it's for.

RedRiverShore · 14/07/2021 10:37

I usually just say there is the toilet if you need it to trades people that are working in the home

onlyhereforthecake · 14/07/2021 10:38

I can't stand a loo in a bathroom to start with, they don't belong there. Most of us had to put up with that arrangement because it was built that way, or lack of space.

Having a random pooping in the place where you brush your teeth is beyond grim frankly.

Of course any normal human being would throw some bleach in there immediately after.

It's easy to mock, but when people have guests loo, they don't have that issue do they.

Sunshineandflipflops · 14/07/2021 10:38

I've never really understood the preferring to poo in your own toilet thing. Of course, given the choice I assume most people would use their own toilet for the purpose but if I am in the office from 8am - 4pm and need to go, I can't wait until i've finished work and then driven 40 mins home! Holding on for 10 mins is one thing but any longer is not happening and I'd say you are in the minority if you can.

My mum suffers with IBS and numerous times she has made an unexpected appearance at my back door and rushed to use my loo while out walking the dog. The smell isn't always pleasant after but I'm sure she's more uncomfortable about that that I am.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/07/2021 10:38

Do they @aubreyii. I assume you must be a bowel doctor of some description to be so knowledgeable about the typical timings of 'most people's' shitting habits?

I would be extremely surprised if 'most people' had bowels that moved with a regularity that allowed them to time their daily shit into the small window between getting up and leaving for work.

Original poster
JeanneDoe · 14/07/2021 10:39

Motion sensor refers to our house alarm system.
He was checking the motion sensors in every room.

Anyway I think if someone is working in your house, they should ask to use the loo, it seems some agree, others don’t, fair enough.

OP posts:
Palavah · 14/07/2021 10:39

@newnortherner111

I think you should expect a tradesperson to use the toilet, indeed I have read of some companies insisting on it.

Though asking, even if only to check which towel to use after washing hands, would be nice.

Ok Monica
twinkletwankle · 14/07/2021 10:39

If you were WFH maybe he didn't want to disturb you. He wasn't to know you weren't on a cneference call or something... imagine that. His head popping up on your Teams Meeting saying 'excuse me miss can I use your loo?'

Sparklingbrook · 14/07/2021 10:40

@JeanneDoe

Motion sensor refers to our house alarm system. He was checking the motion sensors in every room.

Anyway I think if someone is working in your house, they should ask to use the loo, it seems some agree, others don’t, fair enough.

Would you have said yes had he asked?