To think I’m just not going to be able to cope

[reallybloodytired]

I’m sure I’ll get plenty of people telling me cheerfully I will but I don’t honestly see how.

My seven month old has stopped sleeping. A typical night is he will fall asleep some time between seven and eight … I think great, then twenty to thirty minutes later he wakes up.

This lasts until about ten/eleven o clock as that sleep gives him a second wind. Gets increasingly agitated with tiredness and eventually gives in.

Then up at 2. Then 5. I’m currently sitting up in bed holding him, he’s still thrashing around even though he’s asleep and exhausted he’s still fighting it on one level.

I’m back at work soon. I’m going to have to somehow do a full days work, spend the evening battling him and then all night up and down and up and down. And this is just tiredness and general run down-ness talking but I’m almost feeling dislike towards him, which is horrible but it almost feels personal on some level. I’m just desperate for some fucking sleep

No no don't apologise and you weren't grumpy!

I've not read all suggestions.
But here's some I've used. Gp said to put calpol in the bottle before bed. Or anytime they're ill.

Anbesol for teething

My ds until over a year didn't eat solids! Paediatrics, dieticians you name it. I did everything all the advice. No where. Even now at 18m he's not fussed if people around are eating. My other dcs would be there in a flash. We reduced milk to encourage food with no luck. He then just woke hungrier
We went through a 11pm till 4am stage where one of us would be sat up in lounge with him in our chest. (couldn't do in his room as he shares)
My ds does have allergies which doesn't help. We now have started to let him cry it out for a little bit. Like 2 min a time. And it's working. Just go back in rub back and walk out. If it's pre 2am dd sleeps through if after it's harder as he wakes her as she's restless from then (going through night terrors)

I'm a sahm I do the mahority of the waking. Dh does hear him he's dead to the world unless I pretty much shove him off the bed. But his job he needs to be on the ball so tbh unless I'm absolutely knackered then I just Do it to. Right or wrong that works for us.

I generally find it easier to deal with wakings myself.

To be honest, I don’t really mind and wouldn’t be concerned with a couple of wakings a night (I mean, obviously I’d prefer not to have them!) but it was the sheer relentlessness of up and down, up and down, asleep awake, asleep awake, all evening, that had me wringing my hands in despair somewhat.

The problem is that many of the suggestions are very much based around life being adapted at great inconvenience in order to accommodate a non sleeping baby.

I never really know or understand why co sleeping is pushed so much on here. To do it safely ds has to be right in the middle of the bed, forcing me to the very edge. I can’t use a duvet and have to have pillows somewhere uncomfortable so as to be well away from his face, and he squirms and kicks. It’s horrific! I have fallen asleep holding him in bed, but it’s obviously not safe.

The ‘shifts’ that people speak of are also not a long term solution. Whoever is on the early shift has to go to bed ridiculously early and then is up at all hours of the morning. Whoever is on the ‘late’ shift has to deal with the baby when he’s at his most difficult solo and has to stay up late. In the short term to manage a newborn - absolutely. At seven months, with two parents working FT? Madness. And I say that as someone who voluntarily goes to bed at 9!

But the one who it’s most unfair on is surely ds, he needs help learning to sleep and stay asleep. I would never leave him crying and distressed but I do think it’s sensible to explore options to gently ‘teach’ him that when he goes in his cot, sleeping might be a good idea!

Research and do safe cosleeping. Send DH elsewhere for the time being sleep wise. You can always swap at the weekends or whatever so he does the cosleeping and you get the spare bed/couch. It was the only thing that worked with my eldest and meant we all got some sleep.

I found that my child cried a lot less during sleep training overall than she had when I was trying and failing to get her to sleep and she became overtired.

It saved my sanity so it’s worth staying open to it x

billy I don’t want to co sleep. Thanks.

I will look into some very gentle sleep training if this continues