To let our baby sleep in a guesthouse in the garden

[Zipfer]

We are in between moves and staying with family. Our family has a guesthouse (a kind of extended shed with a bedroom kitchenette and bathroom) in the garden about twenty metres at the end of the garden. The guesthouse is visible from the house.

In the evenings we have taken to putting our baby (6 months) to sleep in the guesthouse while we stay in the mainhouse. We have a baby monitor and the house is door is locked. We know the area. We are also sleeping on the guesthouse.

DW and I both agree that this is safe as the risk is low. However, thinking about other famous cases (not drawing a parallel), we think it might be odd to let our baby sleep in a different building for part of the evening. Would you consider this sufficiently safe to allow your baby sleep in this situation?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

You can't be serious. Ffs! My dd is 5 month, she's my third child so I'm pretty relaxed, but I don't even really like her being in the bedroom alone while we are in the livingroom and that's about 10 meters away. Terrible parenting!

You're not in anyway "pretty relaxed". Each to their own on decision making but...

Relaxed you ain't....

Not a chance! It sounds really unsafe.

And how long are you going to do it for?
We’ll be here in this situation for about three weeks

Small children have been abducted in similar situations: when they’ve been put to bed alone and parents are sitting outside (never mind in another building!) drinking and talking. Sorry but I think it’s shocking, why would you put your child at risk like that? It might not be fun but everyone knows you just suck it up and make sure you’re close by for the safety of your child.

Genuinely curious… Would people feel the same if the baby was in a nursery the main house and OP was having dinner in the summerhouse at the bottom of the garden with monitor setup etc?

Like, honestly, if this was just a big sprawling house with a hallway instead of a garden between the baby-monitor-clutching OP and her sleeping baby, no one would have a word to say. Or maybe they would, this is MN so someone would probably insist that someone must be in the same room watching silently wide-eyed over the sleeping baby at all times. In any case the complete and utter failing of logic and common sense here never ceases to amaze me.

Absolutely not. Would you leave baby sleeping at home an pop next door? I would hope not its just the same! Put baby in the house you are in.

@CheddarGorge

Someone needs to call social services ASAP

Dramatic much!!! This is no different to having a baby asleep in lather room/upstairs etc between 8pm and 10pm and a parent being sat in the garden/deck etc

Are you serious?
I hope not.

@Happymum12345

No. Not in a million years. I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Read the post!

I have a toddler bow and 100% would. Trying to think back to when the babe was 6 months…. At that point the baby was sleeping consistently through the night (maybe a 3/4am wake up) so yeah I’d prob do it. I can see there being as issue if the baby wakes up scared in an unfamiliar place without you nearby but if they are just asleep, I don’t really see it being any different from being in a different part of the house or being in the garden while the babe snoozes

@Marmalady75

OP: AIBU? Mumsnet : YABU! OP: But… Mumsnet: YABU! OP: I’m not going to change and I only wanted to see what everyone else thought Mumsnet: YABU!

Plenty of posters don't think she is being unreasonable!

The difference between a baby being in the same house as you and a different garden building is that you can’t detect smoke or an intruder. If it’s for half an hour or 2 hours at a time then surely it’s not an issue just staying with the baby.

Baby monitors can't smell smoke

You wouldn't do that in a purpose built unit in a garden in some towns or areas, hence the response you're getting. I'd do it where I live but would want a video monitor.

@Jennylou88

What if he chokes? What if he rolls over or moves so that he can't breathe properly?! Personally I just wouldn't risk it, I have a young child and have had nights where the sound on the monitor has accidentally been turned down low, but I've heard him cry because I've been close by. For the sake of 2hrs I'd just pop him upstairs in one of the bedrooms until you all go to bed.

Do you stay awake all night in case your baby rolls over etc?

@Thisisthewaywego

It’s a no from me too.

It’s a totally unnecessary risk - SIDS, fire, gas leak, burglary, temperature change in the room particularly in hot weather (which we are about to get later this week in the South East etc).

You can’t rely solely on a baby monitor to keep your child safe - just put baby in the hallway or a room in the main house and transfer when you go to bed.

@Thisisthewaywego

This

@Sweettea1

Absolutely not. Would you leave baby sleeping at home an pop next door? I would hope not its just the same! Put baby in the house you are in.

Yes I absolutely would pop next door with my baby monitor. We did it all the time 20 years ago when I had my babies and my best friend lived next door. Wasn't even a video monitor, audio only. I even had a drink! And when I was growing up I remember my parents would take me and my baby brother with them when they went to their friends' to play cards or whatever and they put us in the car to sleep when it got dark so they wouldn't have to wake us up when it was time to leave. I used to love it, I could read by the streetlights as long as I wanted.

@MrsKoala

I'm a bit hmm and the posters who never leave their baby alone in a room - come again??

A lot of people put their babies to sleep in Moses baskets or basinets near them then move them up to bed when they go, so they aren't left alone.

Ever?? So they don't do dishes in the kitchen, homework with another child, have a shower etc? Baby is NEVER alone?? Come on, seriously??

@Mangofandangoo

Baby monitors can't smell smoke

You’re right. But the smoke detector that in there hopefully can.

My baby is five months old and I've only just started putting her in our room with the monitor at night and then going to the living room (which is through the wall from our bedroom). I'd absolutely not have her across the garden in a separate building

@RazzleTits

This has got to be a troll post. Plenty of people breaking into sheds to steal bikes and tools etc. Any rickety trees about? Mice or rats in the posh shed? Creepy crawlers? It’s obvs has electricity for the monitor, has it been wired properly? Sorry absolutely no way. Your baby, your choice. Hope the little one is okay.

I don't think it's a shed like you have described

Locked door would be a no from me. That would feel wrong.

If I could literally see the annex from the main house, didn't feel the need to lock the door, and had a good video monitor I might do 20 mins or so as it wouldn't be much different from baby being upstairs.

(For parenting style context I left her with MIL for a late evening out at 3 months, overnight at 15 months, and for 4 days while we went abroad before she was 3)

It doesn't make sense? Why would you want to put the baby away in a guest house? Just put her upstairs in the room your sleeping in?