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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let our baby sleep in a guesthouse in the garden

644 replies

Zipfer · 12/07/2021 21:52

We are in between moves and staying with family. Our family has a guesthouse (a kind of extended shed with a bedroom kitchenette and bathroom) in the garden about twenty metres at the end of the garden. The guesthouse is visible from the house.

In the evenings we have taken to putting our baby (6 months) to sleep in the guesthouse while we stay in the mainhouse. We have a baby monitor and the house is door is locked. We know the area. We are also sleeping on the guesthouse.

DW and I both agree that this is safe as the risk is low. However, thinking about other famous cases (not drawing a parallel), we think it might be odd to let our baby sleep in a different building for part of the evening. Would you consider this sufficiently safe to allow your baby sleep in this situation?

OP posts:

TatianaBis · 12/07/2021 22:53

Why don’t you just have the baby in a travel cot in the house and take it to the annexe with you when you go to bed?

No way would I be comfortable with a 6 month year old not being in the same building as me.

FreeBritnee · 12/07/2021 22:53

I probably wouldn’t do it either just incase something happened and you couldn’t get to the child in time. You’d never forgive yourself.

LadyT27 · 12/07/2021 22:54

Genuinely interested to hear this is so unanimous. We both (and our family) feel very comfortable with this. The guesthouse has a fire alarm by the way.

I think that by even asking this you have a feeling it is not right. If you are all comfortable with this, then I doubt it would have occurred for you to post just to be interested in what people thought. Personally I would definitely not be ok with this.

Enough4me · 12/07/2021 22:54

No, I'd be checking so regularly I'd end up going in and staying with my baby.

NakedAttraction · 12/07/2021 22:54

Even if minuscule risk, a totally unnecessary one

Ditto co sleeping, but MN seems to love that.

Loving all these posters thinking they will miraculously pick up choking on a monitor from a separate room in the house, but not from a room 20 meters down the garden.

MrsKoala · 12/07/2021 22:55

I'm a bit hmm and the posters who never leave their baby alone in a room - come again??

A lot of people put their babies to sleep in Moses baskets or basinets near them then move them up to bed when they go, so they aren't left alone.

mellicauli · 12/07/2021 22:55

I would say no because 6 months is a bit of a danger age because they start to crawl, explore and generally get more mobile. Once they start moving there is a whole load of new dangers to think about and you don't know how that's going play out for your baby. If you've got an escape artist, who knows what would happen before you got there or if the baby monitor fails?

There's also teething which can kick in at any time and so no guarantee that the baby will stay asleep.

DrManhattan · 12/07/2021 22:55

Wait until the Daily Fail get hold of this

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 12/07/2021 22:55

Omg, no way. I think children’s services would take a dim view!

Hardbackwriter · 12/07/2021 22:56

@MrsKoala

I'm a bit hmm and the posters who never leave their baby alone in a room - come again??

A lot of people put their babies to sleep in Moses baskets or basinets near them then move them up to bed when they go, so they aren't left alone.

It seems really common on MN but I don't know anyone in real life who was still doing that by 6 months - indeed, who had a baby who would tolerate it (or fit in a moses basket) at 6 months.

NakedAttraction · 12/07/2021 22:57

@mellicauli

There's also teething which can kick in at any time and so no guarantee that the baby will stay asleep.

Show of hands for everyone who’s had a 6 month old that’s managed to climb out the cot?

TonTonMacoute · 12/07/2021 22:57

OP, I think it is becoming clear that about 90% (at least) of the replies here are from people who have not fully understood the set up you are describing.

If you and your wife are happy I really can't see anything wrong at all with what you are doing.

TalkingOutYerArse · 12/07/2021 22:57

Not a chance would I do this.

NakedAttraction · 12/07/2021 22:58

@MrsKoala

I'm a bit hmm and the posters who never leave their baby alone in a room - come again??

A lot of people put their babies to sleep in Moses baskets or basinets near them then move them up to bed when they go, so they aren't left alone.

At 6 months? Are you joking? No way would either of mine have tolerated sleeping in the evening with lights and noise around them. Even nap times needed to be in a darkened room or a moving buggy or vehicle.

And they definitely didn’t fit in a Moses basket at 3 months let alone 6!

Eviethyme · 12/07/2021 22:59

You wouldnt get there in time if your baby started being unable to breathe. no way would i. If someone does break in you may also not get enough time to save your baby either

WheresMySnackPack · 12/07/2021 22:59

No absolutely not! That's dangerous and bloody stupid.

Original poster

Zipfer · 12/07/2021 23:00

OP, I think it is becoming clear that about 90% (at least) of the replies here are from people who have not fully understood the set up you are describing.

I think there are some who read it as we put the baby in the guesthouse at 8pm, we go off to bed in the main house, and that we just wander on out to the garden in the morning to see how he has got on overnight

OP posts:

MrsKoala · 12/07/2021 23:00

It seems really common on MN but I don't know anyone in real life who was still doing that by 6 months - indeed, who had a baby who would tolerate it (or fit in a moses basket) at 6 months.

I know quite a few who did it like that. When baby outgrew the Moses a travel system basinet was used. I never did it because mine didn't sleep laying down, so I just held them all night But I know that is unusual.

WheresMySnackPack · 12/07/2021 23:00

@TonTonMacoute

OP, I think it is becoming clear that about 90% (at least) of the replies here are from people who have not fully understood the set up you are describing.

If you and your wife are happy I really can't see anything wrong at all with what you are doing.

But they have and agree it's fucking stupid.

me4real · 12/07/2021 23:01

YABU, it seems wrong to me. You'd be less near your LO if they got poorly etc, and mightn't know, even with a baby monitor.

I mean, they should only just be going out of your room to sleep at night at their age.

Wroxie · 12/07/2021 23:01

Ah people are so silly. I honestly despair for the kids raised like this. OP you should really avoid asking questions like this here if you are suggestible, lest you become another competitively overprotective helicopter.

WheresMySnackPack · 12/07/2021 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

welshweasel · 12/07/2021 23:02

I’d have no issue with this at all. But then I’ll also use a baby listening service at a small hotel and regularly sit out in the hot tub at home with the kids asleep - big garden and house so probs 80m away. I left them in the car to pay for fuel when they were babies too. I wouldn’t think anyone strange for not wanting to do this but I really don’t think it’s a massive deal.

welshweasel · 12/07/2021 23:03

And I’ve never had a video monitor suddenly stop working without alarming.

me4real · 12/07/2021 23:03

I get that you're there to sleep, but it still seems wrong to me. And how long are you going to do it for? Don't you like having them in your house?

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