Straw poll- do all toddlers have tantrums?

[AngeloMysterioso]

YANBU- yes, all toddlers have tantrums, it’s just part of toddler-hood.

YABU, no, not all toddlers have tantrums, only the ill-disciplined ones.

Is there a middle option? Not all toddlers have tantrums but the ones that do don't have to be ill-disciplined. It's a normal part of toddlerhood, but not every toddler will have them and it's generally unrelated to whether they are well disciplined (in so far as you can discipline a toddler in the first place) or well parented.

Well I’ve had 5 DC and all had tantrums aged 2-3. It’s a perfectly normal part of development and absolutely nothing to do with parenting at all.

@Elune

Is there a middle option? Not all toddlers have tantrums but the ones that do don't have to be ill-disciplined. It's a normal part of toddlerhood, but not every toddler will have them and it's generally unrelated to whether they are well disciplined (in so far as you can discipline a toddler in the first place) or well parented.

I agree - my DC never had a tantrum but I certainly wouldn't put that down to my parenting/discipline. I would never judge a parent if I saw a toddler having a tantrum.

Agree with @Elune. That not all who have tantrums are ill-disciplined. So YABU for not giving straight Yes & No options!

But no, not all have tantrums. None of mine did.

I've had one that did and one that didn't, I don't agree with either of your options. Not all will, but it's totally normal and not a sign of ill discipline. I'd say my one that didn't is a lot less common, and wasn't anything particularly we did or didn't do.

My dd does not and has not ever tantrummed. But there are other challenges.

They have tantrums because they don't know how to regulate their emotions yet, it's perfectly normal. Some kids might be so laid back they're practically horizontal and not have them but neither is down to parenting at that age it's down to the personality of the child IMO.

Well I don’t agree with either! My first never had tantrums as a toddler (though they are very good at a stroppy stomp off now) , my youngest definitely went through a toddler tantrum phase though. I think it’s largely down to their personality.

I can't vote in that poll. My DS had literally one tantrum type episode in his life. He got very upset when I tried to take him for a walk in his buggy and I had to carry him back to the house, while he scream cried and tried to breastfeed on the street and push the buggy with my other arm. We were only a few hundred feet away from home but it seemed to take forever. When we got as far as the porch he breastfed immediately while I sat on the floor, then he fell asleep and by the time he woke up it was clear he was ill. So while at the time it was happening, I assumed it was a tantrum, in hindsight he was already feeling horrible and reacted the only way he could when I did something with him that he wasn't able for.

It doesn't mean that toddlers who do have tantrums are ill disciplined though. DS and I were just lucky that his natural disposition and the way we were able to connect meant that he pretty much never cried as a baby and never had a tantrum as a toddler. It just wasn't how he engaged with the world. Another child, with me as it's mother parenting in a similar way, could have had daily tantrums. Kids have their own personalities.

My DS didn't really have tantrums, he had proper meltdowns where he was incapable of controlling his emotions and genuinely absolutely distraught, usually took him a good half hour to calm down.
DD has tantrums, where she throws herself dramatically to the ground and fake cries, then is totally fine with a big grin on her face 30 seconds later.
Both totally normal I think, and neither of them are ill-disciplined.

DC1 had maybe one or two. DC2 had about eleventybillion. Different kids deal with big feelings differently. Doesn’t mean bad parenting

It’s nothing to do with parenting but no, all toddlers do not have tantrums.

Middle option here too. DS never had a tantrum. We don't take the credit for it, it just wasn't his personality.

Mine never had a meltdown/tantrum. Pure luck/chance, zero 'discipline' reasons.

FFS, discipline? Really?

No tantrums for either of mine, and they’re not stroppy teenagers either - though both of those stages of development would be perfectly normal. It’s not that mine don’t have the frustrations of growing up and developing, they just deal with them differently. Neither way is right or wrong (and certainly not ill disciplined) just different.

Agree with PP, neither of your options are correct.

Not all children have tantrums.

But not all children who have tantrums are badly parented. It's mostly down to age and personality.

It's a perfectly normal stage of development.

It also depends what you're counting as a tantrum. People are generally much more sympathetic to toddlers that have the weepy, wanting to be cuddled sort of upset rather than the angry wanting to throw themselves on the floor kind, but they're both just ways of expressing emotions that they can't yet handle.

My ds had epic tantrums, my dd had none. Just the luck of the draw.

@Elune

Is there a middle option? Not all toddlers have tantrums but the ones that do don't have to be ill-disciplined. It's a normal part of toddlerhood, but not every toddler will have them and it's generally unrelated to whether they are well disciplined (in so far as you can discipline a toddler in the first place) or well parented.

This is absolutely true and probably more representative of my stance on the subject.

My DM (who thinks she knows better than me in every aspect of parenting and frequently says so) is very much of the opinion that tantruming toddler = sub-standard parent(s) and won’t be told otherwise.

My ds never had tantrums. It's just his personality. I've not done anything different to other parents whose toddlers do tantrum .

Not all do, I had 3, one was so placid he never tantrummed, not once. The other 2 were awful.

I don’t think all toddlers have tantrums. Mine did, my friend’s little girl just didn’t. I don’t think it was down to discipline as she’s 4 now and can be very ‘cheeky’ (again, I don’t think is discipline as such. Just a developmental stage. It’s just an example of what can be considered ‘naughty’ behaviour). I just think kids are different. My ds didn’t ever really bite. It certainly wasn’t discipline, I never had to ‘teach’ him not to. It just wasn’t something that he did.

Not really discipline here. there are different temperaments. You didn't give anything but over the top answers.
So YABU to not be more moderate. It's not a straight forward situation. A lot will have one or two tantrums when extremely tired. Some don't do it. Some will be full on tantrum every day.

I have 4 children who have ranged from no tantrums to absolutely epic ones on and off for months. And I’m a great parent and they’re well disciplined
It’s just personality.

Mine didn't tantrum but I think it's much more to do with her personality than our parenting. We're all just winging it really, and your unhelpful & undermining DM is talking out her arse.