To be hurt they don't want to retain me

[TheLasrStraw]

I work in a school and had to tell them I have an interview elsewhere.

They made no effort to retain me, but I know they have done so for other staff.

I need to stay positive for my interview but feel dented by my school.

Words of wisdom welcome.

You want to leave though don’t you? So why do you care

Why did you tell them you had an interview? Was it purely so they would try and keep you?

You've told them you're actively looking for another role but you then want them to bend over backwards to keep you?

Sorry, but you sound deluded. And very self-indulgent.

Why did you have to tell them you had an interview?

@Crimeismymiddlename

Why did you tell them you had an interview? Was it purely so they would try and keep you?

If the OP works in a school she probably has had to disclose the interview.

My experience of managing people is that once someone is looking for other jobs, they generally don’t want to be where they are so it’s better to just let them go. I have only once tried to hang on to someone who was thinking of leaving but in the end they left a year later anyway and the person who replaced them was just as valuable.

If the OP works in a school she probably has had to disclose the interview

And will presumably need to ask for the time off.

Presumably OP had to tell them to get time off, as you can't book annual leave.

OP try not to take it personally. Everyone is knackered at the end of term and there may be other factors e.g. they know they need to cut staffing numbers.

You want to leave and it seems they’re respecting that. Not sure why it’s dented your confidence.

@Aprilx

Why did you have to tell them you had an interview?

Usually in a school you can't just book annual leave, and an interview is one of the few times you can book the time off. It's also considered bad form to not disclose an interview in schools. Usually schools contact references prior to interview as well, so you have to be up front.

@Crimeismymiddlename

Why did you tell them you had an interview? Was it purely so they would try and keep you?

If she works in a school, she'll need to for the time off.

OP - you're leaving. Why would they want to try and keep you when you've made it clear you don't want to be there?

You have to disclose interviews in many schools.

OP - I think you need to think about why they haven’t tried to keep you - schools can be tricky to progress your career so have you reached a place you can’t move forward there? If so they may be being philosophical - they know even if they got you to stay this time you’ll be antsy again in a few months.

My assistant left last year and I was gutted but I couldn’t offer her any more development so I wished her well and licked my wounds.

Where does the OP say she wants to leave?

It may be your experience or subject is not as in high demand and they believe your role (rather than you personally) will be easily filled compared to others.

Anyway, the school and you obviously don't gel anyway if you want to leave so not a big deal.

@ilovesooty

Where does the OP say she wants to leave?

I think the massive clue is in the interview plans.

It’s only reached interview stage, they may still try and retain you. Perhaps someone has to look into whether there’s budget for offering you something more or more responsibilities that attract allowances. These things don’t happen instantly.

She is going for interview because she school is not retaining her. She does not say she wants to leave.

Are you on a fixed-term contract at your current school OP?

The reasons they might not retain you can be varied, and it's certainly not always a matter of your performance or ability.

It could equally just be a matter of finances, or practicality. I've certainly known of highly thought of people being let go, simply because of these factors (including schools).

It won't do any harm to ask them. And, if it transpires that performance or character was some sort of issue, if you can take it with a brave heart, and improve on those things, it'll stand you in good stead. I isn't easy for anybody to take criticism, but still better to know.

Where does the OP say she wants to leave?

The fact that she has applied for another job would suggest she wants to leave.

@ilovesooty

Where does the OP say she wants to leave?

seriously?

It can be the budget. There is also a difference between saying "I need raise/more hours/x because of personal circumstances otherwise I will have to look elsewhere which I really don't want to since I fit here nicely" and "I have an interview elsewhere".

They may not be in a position to try and retain. Budget cuts, staff attrition targets, no promotion opportunities to offer etc.

The headteacher may well be gutted but is acting professional to not put you off your game for the interview.

Go smash it.

She is leaving because she has been told that the school is not retaining her.

She expressed disappointment with that.

She did not say she wants to leave, but indicated that she has no alternative but to look for another post.

The OP could be looking for work because they made it clear she isn't going to be retained?

It is a blow to the confidence and I hope you find a job that is a better fit soon