To be hurt they don't want to retain me

[TheLasrStraw]

I work in a school and had to tell them I have an interview elsewhere.

They made no effort to retain me, but I know they have done so for other staff.

I need to stay positive for my interview but feel dented by my school.

Words of wisdom welcome.

what were you expecting? pleas and tears? I managed folk for years. We would do our best to be flexible over work patterns and so on for everybody but if someone said they were looking to leave then we would wish them all the best and give them the best reference we could. Expecting anything else is blackmail.

Yes, that is hurtful op. It sort of feels like you're not valued.

A relative of mine had a similar position, but it's likely they aren't being retained as they are older/experienced expensive and the school are struggling on budget and can't justify paying it when they don't need it.

@ilovesooty

She is leaving because she has been told that the school is not retaining her.

She expressed disappointment with that.

She did not say she wants to leave, but indicated that she has no alternative but to look for another post.

The way the OP reads, she went for an interview and is annoyed that they’re now not making an effort to retain her. Not that they told her she was being cut, and then got the interview.

greenfingers

You've told them you're actively looking for another role but you then want them to bend over backwards to keep you?

It's how it works in teaching - you are obliged to say you are applying for a job & have to ask permission to put head as a reference. It's also obligatory to put your head and line manager as referees.

Presumably you had to tell them because they would be asked for a reference.

There could be all sorts of reasons why they are not trying to retain you. Please don't worry about it, you want to leave anyway.

@ilovesooty

She is leaving because she has been told that the school is not retaining her.

She expressed disappointment with that.

She did not say she wants to leave, but indicated that she has no alternative but to look for another post.

I read it as "told them about interview but they didn't try to retain me like others".

I think most read it that way

You haven't got the job yet, they may be more interested at a later stage.

Oh I see. I read it the other way round. I can see why people might have thought differently to my interpretation now.

She'd have had to tell the school about the interview though.

I think she has applied for another job because she will not have a job for September otherwise as her current school have not renewed her contract. It would have been good practice for them to have had a conversation with OP about why that is. There could be a number of reasons that are nothing to do with her performance- budget, a member of staff returning from sickness or maternity leave, falling rolls.

She has told the school because she will need leave of absence to be off for the interview.

I think the OP needs to talk to the Headteacher- the school she is going to on interview may ask her about her current job and why she is not staying.

My head gets very annoyed when people put her as a reference and the first she knows of it is when she’s asked for the reference by the school. She’d much rather we let her know first so she’s prepared. I wouldn’t expect her to try and keep me if I want to leave. Me leaving will be because I want to leave so she couldn’t say anything to make me stay anyway.

I can understand why your confidence has been knocked though if your head has done it with other people. Good luck with your interview!

@HUCKMUCK

My experience of managing people is that once someone is looking for other jobs, they generally don’t want to be where they are so it’s better to just let them go. I have only once tried to hang on to someone who was thinking of leaving but in the end they left a year later anyway and the person who replaced them was just as valuable.

This. It's common knowledge that if you have to persuade someone to stay, they'll be gone within a year anyway.

You haven't been offered another job yet though so they don't need to make an effort to retain you yet.

if someone said they were looking to leave then we would wish them all the best and give them the best reference we could. Expecting anything else is blackmail.

I agree with this. I'm not sure what you were expecting. Wondering why they asked other staff to stay is going to make you crazy.

I’ve not experienced this in all the times I’ve interviewed to leave for a new job

I didn’t realise people expected it

I also work in a school.

You told them you wanted to leave, whether that was an implicit "I plan to leave" conversation, or implied "I have an interview"... and they are... letting you leave?? I don't really see the issue. You want to leave, they're not stopping you. Job done.

HOWEVER, if they've made efforts to retain other staff in the past, I can see that's irksome. But there could be a million reasons why they did that, and it's not worth diving into their "whys and why nots".

Personally, I'd focus on your end-game - leaving. And tell yourself that if they don't want to retain you, that's their loss, your new jobs gain, and why would you want to work for an employer that doesn't value you anyway?

It'd be helpful if the OP could clear that up. Are you coming to the end of a FTC, and hoped it'd be extended? Did you simply decide to leave and are upset this didn't prompt them to try and retain you?

The school won’t offer anything if you get the new job because in teaching jobs are most often offered on the day of the interview and you have to accept or decline there and then. It will damage your future career to accept the new job and then backtrack if your current school try to retain you- so I would be pretty certain they won’t do it.

If you felt like you were worth more money, why didn’t you ask for it prior to applying for new jobs? That would have been the best option for actually getting a retention offer. If you haven’t mentioned it, you can’t expect the school to offer anything more really. They already had you doing the job at that price and no doubt will find someone else to do the same.

If you want anything additional from the new school, I would be very clear on this at interview and negotiate for it if you can. It’s much more difficult once you have accepted, even if the acceptance is just verbal on the day. Good luck with it

No. She was disappointed that when she told them she had applied for another job, they didn't try to persuade her to change her mind, as they had done for other staff in the past. (Or at least that's how it comes across to me.)

Don't read too much into it, Op. School budgets are in an unholy mess, what with employing supply teachers to cover covid absences and trying to make sense of the govt's catch-up plans. If you are fairly experienced and on a higher salary and they may be able to employ someone cheaper to replace you. Bad practice long-term, but needs must at the moment.

Oh grow up. “Hurt” ffs

Presumably you applied for the new role because you wanted it, not to get your current school to prove a point though? Focus on what's coming up in the new role not what your (hopefully soon) previous employer is doing or has done. Good luck with the interview, OP.

Surely they would seek to retain you unless they knew you were actually going? If they offered you benefits now to make you stay it might amount to nothing if you didn’t get offered the new job anyway. Maybe they’re just waiting to see if you’re actually handing in your notice.

Presumably, if the OP doesn’t get the job she’s interviewing for, she’ll be staying where she is anyway. I didn’t see anything in the original post to indicate she had to leave because they weren’t retaining her, only that she told them she had an interview and they didn’t try to persuade her not to go for it.

If they don’t try and persuade you to stay it tells you that you were right to be looking elsewhere. It’s also entirely possible they will try and manage without replacing you and see it as a cost cutting opportunity. If they need to cut costs then not trying to persuade you to stay is nothing personal.

Either way, you presumably want to leave for a reason, so wanting them to grovel to try and keep you is just ego really, not anything actually worth worrying about.