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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dislike going to friends house because of her dog?

82 replies

TomForddr · 10/07/2021 22:36

I’ve never owned a dog in my life, I’m not scared of them but I’m definitely not the most confident.

Friends dog is around 7 months but seems pretty much fully grown and he gets so excited every single time you walk in, constantly jumping all over you.

Today I walked in and he’s behind a baby gate going crazy once he sees me, friend tells him to go outside, I wait by the baby gate and friend says “do you to come through then and go outside and see him” - got the impression the dog wouldn’t calm down otherwise.

At this point I got scared, but walked through anyway and of course he comes running up to me, jumps up, scratched me down my arm. No blood but enough that the scratches are still present hours later.

Friend didn’t seem too bothered, she does react and pull him off but she’s not quick enough and he kept coming back to do it. She even told me yesterday he’d drawn blood from another visitor.

I’m sat on the sofa and he’s climbing all over me at every opportunity, at one point licked the glass that was in my house. Gets in my face to the point I’m scared of being bir.

Is this normal? I get that puppies won’t be the best trained, but I’m constantly on edge in her house and it’s not enjoyable to see her anymore.

OP posts:

MrsEricBana · 10/07/2021 22:40

Definitely not ok and she just can't see it because he's her baby. I had words with a close friend over similar when I had tried subtly, nicely, firmly then crossly to say I just wasn't happy with it (and I love dogs)

Wolfiefan · 10/07/2021 22:44

Either don’t go to her house or say you don’t want to greet the pup or have it bounce on you.
She sounds a bit crap. She should be keeping it on a lead or in a different room if it’s going to hurt visitors.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/07/2021 22:45

I like no one in the world enough to put up with that sort of crap. I wouldn’t have gone there a second time.

WeatherSystems · 10/07/2021 22:46

YANBU. I would never be back after that, and I’m a real animal lover. Meet her outside at places that aren’t dog friendly.

Original poster

TomForddr · 10/07/2021 22:49

@Wolfiefan

Either don’t go to her house or say you don’t want to greet the pup or have it bounce on you. She sounds a bit crap. She should be keeping it on a lead or in a different room if it’s going to hurt visitors.

Thing is I get the impression he would not calm down until he could get to me.

He’ll be jumping up initially and then is not the least bit interested in me. But then I’ll sit down and he will start again.

I also think he always has to be in the same room as her? He’s been outside by himself when I’m there and just digs up the garden so she’ll bring him in.

OP posts:

Brazilianut · 10/07/2021 22:49

It is very hard to control an excitable puppy so she should have a safe place for him to be when visitors arrive.

Wolfiefan · 10/07/2021 22:51

The puppy isn’t your problem OP. If she can’t leave it then she could have it on a lead. She can’t expect you to be injured until it tires itself out.

StressyWoman · 10/07/2021 22:53

He doesn’t sound aggressive but it’s still unpleasant and could still hurt someone. I’d either see her at yours instead or arrive with a treat that’ll keep him busy and away from you.

DrManhattan · 10/07/2021 22:53

A friend of mine has a cat that is all over. I can't go in any more. Just sit outside when we go round.. not a big deal.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/07/2021 22:54

Ugh YANBU.

I've stopped going to a couple of friends places because of their annoying jumpy dogs - fair enough, dogs jump but when their owner does naff all about it it's extremely frustrating!

I wouldn't be going again until they can get the dog in check.

BTW the dog loons will be in soon to sneer at you and tell you to get a grip. Just to warn you, there's a few who think it should be a privilege for dogs to climb all over you

HelloBunny · 10/07/2021 22:56

Wouldn’t like this at all... I’m not an animal person, and would be very uncomfortable. I was afraid of dogs when I was small, and I’m not now. But I would be unhappy with this set-up!

Original poster

TomForddr · 10/07/2021 22:59

@StressyWoman

He doesn’t sound aggressive but it’s still unpleasant and could still hurt someone. I’d either see her at yours instead or arrive with a treat that’ll keep him busy and away from you.

Oh no he’s not aggressive and if he’s wanted to hurt me he would have done more then scratch me. I know it’s just a game to him. But I know he could get overexcited and hurt me and because I’m nervous I feel he senses that??

I just hate it when I’m sat down and he will literally be face to face with me sometimes and I’m frankly terrified he’s going to bite me because he’s playing and I’ve seen him bite friend and her partner when playing.

OP posts:

Purpleweeks · 10/07/2021 23:00

She should be teaching him some manners. At this stage yes he probably won't calm down until he greets you but this should be done in a more controlled manner. I would ask you to sit and bring him to you on a lead, removing him if he jumped up he needs to learn that he will only get attention when not jumping up.

Wolfiefan · 10/07/2021 23:05

He shouldn’t be scratching you. He needs to learn to be calm when visitors come. And if he hasn’t learnt that he needs to be kept away from visitors.

EmpressSuiko · 10/07/2021 23:09

Sounds like an over excited puppy who hasn’t had much socialisation or training.
Does she take him out with her much and do you know if she has been taking him to puppy classes/obedience training?
If not it sounds like she needs to as he clearly is lacking in boundaries and she needs to implement some rules and commands with positive reinforcement/treats.
My lad will want to have a fuss and is excited when we get visitors but calms down quickly and will then lay down on his bed/by our feet.

pigsDOfly · 10/07/2021 23:30

Well, speaking as a dog owner your friend is being very neglectful with the dog and needs to start training it pdq.

As soon as a puppy comes into the home training should start and one part of training is teaching them not to jump up at people and leap all over them.

Your friend has obviously done absolutely no training at all with the dog.

Friend may think it's cute when it's a puppy, for a dog to be untrained and out of control, but it isn't cute, it's dangerous.

Very soon the dog is going to be an untrained, out of control adult dog and what happens then if it injures someone, a small child for instance?

I'd refuse to go to someone's house if their dog was like this and I'd have no hesitation in telling them why.

Brazilianut · 10/07/2021 23:33

@pigsDOfly

myself and several people I know have spent hours and months training our pups - they still jump up. Don’t assume people aren’t trying to train because an excited puppy jumps up.

Not defending the woman in question she needs to keep her pup away until he learns.

Indoctro · 10/07/2021 23:35

Sounds like lack of training

I have a 6 month old staffy puppy who sits and lies down when people come near him , so they can stroke him

I absolutely hate dogs jumping up and if taught from 8 weeks old not to then they won't

This owners needs to invest time into training the dog.

PrincessNutella · 10/07/2021 23:36

People can be such idiots about their dogs. They just don't see what they do as a problem. But you do. And that matters. You aren't crazy.

pigsDOfly · 10/07/2021 23:44

Brazilianut Yes, I know it's difficult with some dogs and, at 7 months given that the puppy is heading towards adolescence it's very likely to be a bit 'spirited'.

In which case, a sensible owner would, as you say, keep the puppy away from visitors.

A decent owner most certainly wouldn't insist that visitors 'say hello' to the puppy because that's what the puppy wants, and then expect visitors to sit there being bounced all over and scratched.

I would assume from the friend's lax attitude towards the dog's behaviour that very little has been done in the way of training.

AlCalavicci · 10/07/2021 23:59

I like dogs and have owed several over the years but that is unacceptable to say the least , yes pups can get very excitable and jumpy but the owner should take control of it and calm it down.
If you do go back , warn the owner that you will reprimand the dog if it starts again . and if it happens again stand up , a very firm NO and turn turn back on it and completely ignore it ( which may take some time )

Sit back down only when it is calm , rinse and repeat

Wearywithteens · 11/07/2021 00:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/07/2021 00:17

Why have you not spoken to your friend about how this makes you feel? Rather than just moaning on a public forum.

pigsDOfly · 11/07/2021 00:27

Dog owners really don't want to hear that their dog is a disgusting annoyance so the only option is to avoid them together.

Some dog owners' dogs aren't allowed to be annoying to visitors and are therefore not 'a disgusting annoyance'.

Your SIL and your friend are very poor sorts of dog owners if they expect guests to accept having their dogs climb all over them.

KimmyAndMe · 11/07/2021 00:28

I have 2 dogs. Neither jump on visitors. Your friend is the problem. She obviously hasn’t put in the training. In your situation I wouldn’t visit. Dogs that jump on people are the worst. Not the dogs fault though.

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