To dislike going to friends house because of her dog?

[TomForddr]

I’ve never owned a dog in my life, I’m not scared of them but I’m definitely not the most confident.

Friends dog is around 7 months but seems pretty much fully grown and he gets so excited every single time you walk in, constantly jumping all over you.

Today I walked in and he’s behind a baby gate going crazy once he sees me, friend tells him to go outside, I wait by the baby gate and friend says “do you to come through then and go outside and see him” - got the impression the dog wouldn’t calm down otherwise.

At this point I got scared, but walked through anyway and of course he comes running up to me, jumps up, scratched me down my arm. No blood but enough that the scratches are still present hours later.

Friend didn’t seem too bothered, she does react and pull him off but she’s not quick enough and he kept coming back to do it. She even told me yesterday he’d drawn blood from another visitor.

I’m sat on the sofa and he’s climbing all over me at every opportunity, at one point licked the glass that was in my house. Gets in my face to the point I’m scared of being bir.

Is this normal? I get that puppies won’t be the best trained, but I’m constantly on edge in her house and it’s not enjoyable to see her anymore.

I think COVID has made it quite difficult to train dogs around visitors as during lockdown, nobody had anyone in the house!

However that's no excuse for her failing to control her dog. If he's excitable around guests then he needs putting in another room, crating or keeping on a lead when they're in the home. Letting him jump and scratch isn't acceptable.

Yes, puppies are excitable and no, most 7 month old puppies aren't going to be perfectly trained but that's not your fault - the owner needs to control her dog.

My in laws dog was like this for years, badly trained and not exercised enough. Turn away every time and ignore, it helps. Luckily my husband would help but it looks like you'll have to tell your friend to distract him so he stays near her.

There are good dog owners who train their dog, and bad dog owners who do not do enough. Sadly your friend is the latter.

I suggest you meet in future somewhere away from her house, perhaps in a cafe or outside.

Meh I tend to let my dogs jump over people I'm not fussed about visiting .............

Oh god....I have this, honestly if you can't be arsed to train your dog your an anti social arsehole. All four paws on the floor calm greeting should be the absolute basic.
I cannot tell you how cross it makes me when the owners dont work on this and then give the old 'he's just being friendly' line. If he's a particular breed that is tricky to train or parents were not very biddable then she may be finding it tricky, but it sounds like she couldn't give a shit.
Stoo visiting and tell her why (it's not the dog it's you and you're unwillingness to train it)

I have the “anti-social arsehole dog” and would probably be a bad owner as per some responses because our dog isn’t trained to perfection.

We got him at the start of lockdown last year (not a covid dog before anyone has a go, planned before and just coincided with it happening) and have had minimal visitors so we haven’t been able to “just fucking train him” because we’ve not been able to have visitors so had no exposure to his triggers. We have started training with him on the handful of times we have had visitors come and he is getting better at understanding boundaries. However we DO NOT allow him to jump up at people and we keep him on a lead until he has calmed down. Even if that’s for hours as allowing him to behave crazy will give him the impression that it as acceptable to do that and it’s not. As soon as he starts getting too excited and over his threshold (so tunes us out) he goes in his own room for a short time to calm down and then back on his lead until he isn’t up a height. Goes through loads of treats to keep him on his bed and calm. We don’t invite people round really for this reason, we’ve had a few groups of friends ask to come over and always warn them in advance the dog is likely to be crazy (vocal) but we keep him leashed and use it to train. We would send the dog to mils or a sitter if people weren’t comfortable or meet somewhere else.

It’s not acceptable to allow the dog to jump all over you, scratch you and lick your glass though! Even if it was an opportunist lick I’d be horrified if ours done that.

Your friend was very rude.

I have a big dog, he’s turned out in the garden (with access to his heated shed) whenever we have visitors. Not because he’s bouncy or barks just not everyone likes being in the same room as a dog, especially one his size! When I’ve put him out I also thoroughly vacuum, steam mop and air the house before they come as who wants dog hair on their clothes or socks?

Occasionally people ask me to bring him in (dog lovers) so they can pet him. I oblige but he always sits or lies quietly and is trained not to lick or jump on people. Nor is he allowed on the furniture or in rooms with expensive rugs. Or upstairs.

If I went to a friend’s house and her dog behaved like that I’d ask her to crate him or put him outside immediately. No way am I going to have a dog jump up and scratch me or bark in my ear or scrabble at me! If she refused I’d try a stern ‘no, leave it’ and if he persisted I’d leave and blame the dog.

OP - YANBU

I hate, hate, hate dogs jumping all over me, sniffing me, goosing me, wiping their mouths down my legs, drooling all over me. Why some dog owners think this behaviour is unacceptable I will never understand.

You’re not wrong. I avoid badly behaved dogs homes as well, due to being nervous around dogs anyway.

we have a dog.
he wasn't a puppy when we got him, but we spent ages training him to not jump up when someone comes.
Now he never ever does.

He does run round, we have taught him to sit and wait in the hall until the visitor comes to him. He can and does. When people come who don't like dogs, I can either shut the door to the lounge and he waits, or put him in his bed.

It is training, training, training, training. It takes ages.
It is also helpful to have a few people who come to the house and help 'teach' the dog (eg knock on the door, and refuse to interact until he is sitting still.

But the long shot is that someone who is scared of dogs can come to my house and not encounter the dog. Which is as it should be

No way would I be going round there again. I think you need to be honest with her and say you aren't confident around dogs, and would rather meet elsewhere.

Dog lover here

YDNBU. No visitor should be subjected to a bouncy puppy, my two were trained, they come over once visitor is settled for a pat and perhaps to sniff a handbag and only if visitor likes dogs.

We get a fair few professional visits due to DH’s disability and I always put the dogs away because I work on the premise that we love dogs but these professionals may not. Indeed, one company has had to insist that dogs are off and away before the visit due to bites ( so called ‘ nips’ or ‘ just playing’ from owners) and grossly anti social behaviour.

The only time this would be ok is if an owner had pre agreed with a visitor to help with a training exercise, once had to do this when our Boxer was a bouncy bundle of licking and jumping up.

No, it’s common courtesy to check if visitors are ok or to be bloody sure that the dog will respond to commands when they are given.

I would actually raise it with your friend or just stop visiting. Poorly socialised dogs make me very cross.

YANBU

Your friend is being a bit dense.

I would tell her that you're uncomfortable around boisterous dogs and you'd like to meet in other places until Fido has gotten more used to visitors.

It might be useful feedback for her, apart from anything else.

OP this post could have been written by me, this is exact thing happened to me, dog nearly bowled me over numerous times and nipped both my arms!

Totally unacceptable and won’t be going out of my way to return to friend’s house now. They can’t control the dog so why should I be expected to put up with it?

YANBU.

@onceivepostedidontcomeback

Meh I tend to let my dogs jump over people I'm not fussed about visiting .............

What a horrible comment. Why did you feel the need to say that? You honestly must be a very bitter person.

YANBU. This is the reason I can't stand dogs and worse, dog owners. Your friend needs to understand that not everyone enjoys her dog interacting like that, and while it's not the dog's fault for being excitable and jumping around like that, it's her fault for letting it. She really should be more aware of how the dog is reacting, he doesn't sound trained at all, and shouldn't be around new people if so.

As a dog owner, no not okay and I wouldn't allow mine to do this at any point.

@onceivepostedidontcomeback

Meh I tend to let my dogs jump over people I'm not fussed about visiting .............

Dunno about your dogs but you're clearly a bitch :)

It really frustrates me when some dog owners give the rest of us a bad name!

I don’t see why people can’t crate a dog for the duration of a visit or put it in the garden.

When he does this keep your arms folded ,your back straight and turn away from him.ignore him,don't look directly at him,monitor him through your peripheral vision.
The very second he sits quietly,calmly praise him.if he responds,as he probably will as she's not bothering to train him,by bouncing around,repeat the above.You may have to do this a few times depending on his intelligence,but eventually he will learn that sitting quietly get him attention.
Good luck.🐶

YANBU OP. my dog is 3 now and despite a lot of training still jumps when visitors arrive- she is a lot better, but it still happens, so before we open the door to the visitor we put her on a lead and in another room while the visitor is here. It's just not fair otherwise.

What a horrible comment. Why did you feel the need to say that? You honestly must be a very bitter person

Your thread is full of horrible comments, OP.

Friend didn’t seem too bothered, she does react and pull him off but she’s not quick enough and he kept coming back to do it. She even told me yesterday he’d drawn blood from another visitor

Blimey. I wouldn't be going back or even meeting her outside with the dog. Also does it really matter if the dog digs up the garden a bit? Ours frequently gets dug up by badgers (and probably foxes) and there's not much we can do about it.

I also wonder how the family with the allergic daughter in last week's thread would react to having a dog (and owner) like this in the neighbourhood!

When I first met DH he lived with SIL and her partner in a house share set up and SIL had a big giddy staffie. It jumped all over me every time I went near it and scratched the shit out of me. I’ve never owned a dog either and don’t particularly like them, I didn’t say anything because I really liked DH and didn’t want to offend him but I’ve definitely told him since and he didn’t like the dog either .

I wouldn’t visit her at home again personally.

Well of course YANBU