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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piercing a 2yr olds ears..

337 replies

Thelogicescapesme · 09/07/2021 23:29

It's not a cultural thing in this case, more so the toddler is being treat like a fashion accessory. Mum had it done because mum thinks it's "pretty and girly"

As an adult whom has had to have two piercings surgically removed and antibiotics for complications post procedure I think it's fucking bonkers that anybody would inflict it on a small child.

AIBU and what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
ObviousNameChage · 10/07/2021 09:28

Oh and as soon as I was old enough (15/16?) I pierced my ears myself several times,at home, straight with the earring. Dumb as fuck and it didn't always go well... obviously.Grin

Original poster
Thelogicescapesme · 10/07/2021 09:29

@Cavalierqueen

Inspired by this I just gave myself a third hole. I'm still alive and did ask myself for consent before I used the single use fully sterile kit.
That's the point isn't it, as an adult who is presumably compos mentis, you understand the risks and need to take care of the piercing and most importantly you are able to consent.

A baby/toddler isn't.

OP posts:
Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 09:29

@ObviousNameChage did you freeze it first with an ice cube? That hurt more than the needle as I remember it Grin

CoralSparkles · 10/07/2021 09:32

@Thelogicescapesme

So many people in this thread have read stories about infected ears… that’s because they don’t go to a trained piercer that uses clean equipment.

I went to a trainer piercer and was meticulous about after care and hygiene, that didn't stop the piercing migrating and becoming so embedded that I needed to have it surgically cut out of my face under local anaesthetic.

You weren’t wearing proper earrings then. I have never had this issue, nor do I know anyone who has gone through this. You can get backs to earrings that stop part way so they don’t get too close to the earlobe.
DeadButDelicious · 10/07/2021 09:32

There is a child in my DD's nursery who has pierced ears. This has led to my DD declaring that she wants hers done. She's 4. It's not happening. I've explained the process, shown her how Mummy's earrings go through her ears and told her that it can hurt and they need lots of care to keep them clean.

She can have them done if she still wants it, when she's older. If and when she does want them done we will be going to a proper piercer who does it with a hollow needle and correctly sized jewellery.

Personally I think those guns should be banned. I had mine done with a gun, they are slightly lopsided and I had NOTHING but trouble with them when I first had them done at 16. The idea of that being done to a baby or small child does not sit well with me.

Flowerlane · 10/07/2021 09:36

Haven’t read all the thread as know from previous threads mums etc are against ear piercing on children.

My ears were pierced when I was a baby as were a majority, at the time no one battered a eye lid. Now days it seems more frowned upon.

Don’t have a daughter but if I did then I’m not sure i would have them done as a baby but if they turned round to me at any age and asked I would let them.

Doghead · 10/07/2021 09:39

It's child abuse. Simple

Whoarethewho · 10/07/2021 09:47

I think it is poor to do it to a child. I would bring it into line with tattoos and ban until 18. Cultural or not.

ObviousNameChage · 10/07/2021 09:48

"When they're old enough to ask" , a lot of the time seems to become "when I deem them old enough to have them". Complete bollocks , designed to give the sayer the higher moral ground.

ittakes2 · 10/07/2021 09:55

I agree and apart from everything you said ear lobes grow. What looks centred on a 2 year old might not look centred on an adult. My spanish friend's ears were done as a baby and her ear piercing hole is so close to her head there are limited ear options she can wear.

morepizzapls · 10/07/2021 10:04

aside from anything else it's just why. why does anyone feel like they need to get such a young childs ear pierced?

not for me. my husband mentioned in passing about getting our nearly 2 year olds done but I have hard over ruled him there. just unnecessary at this age.

mumofdiamonds · 10/07/2021 10:21

My DD asked for hers to be pierced aged 5. I told her to wait until the 6 weeks holidays and if she still wanted them doing we would. Stupidly we went to Claire's, chose the 9ct gold studs, thinking they would be fine. DD screamed when I tried to put the ointment on and was clearly too "young" to have them. They got infected, we removed them and that was the end of that. When she was 7, she found some of my studs and put them in the old holes herself. Amazingly they were still open. After this she was mature enough to clean them and change them herself. I would never pierced a child's ears who didn't ask for it, but I also think the child should be mature enough to deal with the maintenance of them.

mumofdiamonds · 10/07/2021 10:22

Also, DD is 13 now and never wears earrings. Unless it's a special occasion.

LST · 10/07/2021 10:23

@Cavalierqueen

There are also sane people who don't get het up over other people's business. Who really cares about either? It's hardly an issue worth getting so het up over, I can only imagine people have little to think about in their lives.
I don't give a crap about one as it doesnt cause pain to someone who didn't say ok to it
Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 10:24

I had my ears pinned back when I was 7. I begged my parents from the day I started school and got bullied. Should I be suing them now?

Quaggars · 10/07/2021 10:25

@Cavalierqueen

I had my ears pinned back when I was 7. I begged my parents from the day I started school and got bullied. Should I be suing them now?
You were 7 and your choice so not really comparable
Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 10:26

There are two groups on this thread. Half in actual angst over a theoretical situation which they don't have to do if they don't want to and the rest just being highly amused by the hysterical ones. I love these threads, they are an absolute hoot!

morepizzapls · 10/07/2021 10:26

@Cavalierqueen

I had my ears pinned back when I was 7. I begged my parents from the day I started school and got bullied. Should I be suing them now?
I think 7 and 2 are incredibly different ages..
morepizzapls · 10/07/2021 10:27

@Cavalierqueen

There are two groups on this thread. Half in actual angst over a theoretical situation which they don't have to do if they don't want to and the rest just being highly amused by the hysterical ones. I love these threads, they are an absolute hoot!
is everyone who doesnt agree with it in "actual angst" though? or are some of us just musing the point at such a young age and why it is necessary.
OhWhyNot · 10/07/2021 10:30

I had mine done at three

Child abuse oh please 🙄

Under three I personally wouldn’t. It’s not something I get worked up about

Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 10:30

Some people are really het up. I think it's ridiculous to get wound up about a random internet thread. People need to get out more.

IDontReadEyebrows · 10/07/2021 10:33

This subject comes up on MN every now and then and honestly, while I wouldn’t pierce my children’s ears, in the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world if other parents choose to do this. I never did because I don’t like seeing my children in pain and crying even for a short time and laziness on my part- cleaning the ears and remembering to move the earrings each day, ugh. No thanks.

Comedycook · 10/07/2021 10:34

I struggle to care

Ontheroadtorecovery · 10/07/2021 10:35

I had mine done as a really young child and it did me no harm. On the other hand I don't have dd done she's 4 but she hasn't asked for it. I couldn't get this worked up about it I just think the reality of the cleaning and turning twice daily would be hassle with a little one. I wouldn't have wanted to hold a child down for this as I've experience of needing to do that for medical procedures and found it heartbreaking

Happynewtier · 10/07/2021 10:38

In all honesty I cannot believe it's legal to inflict pain, and permanently physically alter another person's appearance without their consent. So how this is still allowed I have no idea. If someone dragged their 8 year old into a piercing shop, kicking and screaming and begging for them not to do it, there's no way that child would be pinned down and the procedure would go ahead. A baby/toddler doesn't understand what's about to happen, and cannot talk, and express their wishes, so that's then okay? If someone started piercing dogs and cats, their would be uproar about it being barbaric, but human babies? Nah, that's fine. Besides the point of the fact it hurts and opens them up to an infection risk, parents making that sort of choice for their child, about their appearance, doesn't sit right with me one bit. It's disgusting, and all about claiming ownership/rights over a human being, who cannot speak for themselves. Yes that baby/child can take those piercings out if they decide they no longer want them, but they are permanently maimed, and the "holes" will never completely disappear. And all for who's benefit? It's disgusting, and I hate it. And for every person that says "it's better to have to done when they can't remember the pain"... I took my piercings out as a teenager and have never worn them since (still maimed by the holes though) and my children have no desire to have any piercings yet/if at all, they're completely uninterested, and get to enjoy being kids without the risk of earrings ripping on clothing, being dangerous during sport, play. If they wanted them, absolutely fine, would let them get them done no problem, as long as they understood the aftercare, and the fact it will hurt and cause a permanent alteration to their body. It's not like a right of passage that every person has to endure at some point, so "better to get it out the way" makes no sense at all.