AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

Think it's far more likely that OP has a neighbour who wants to control and bully the new blood out of their family's road than they have a neighbour whose child has a highly improbable, rare level of allergy, tbh.

But the neighbours have made the house unsellable. This would have to declared?
Who’s going to buy after hearing this nonsense ? First it’s rules about a dog, what next? No sane person will buy op property.

Parents are the ones who should be living somewhere more isolated due to their dc's condition and not imposing rules to neighbours. OP has the right to enjoy her house and garden with the company of her pet.

@Bargebill19

But the neighbours have made the house unsellable. This would have to declared? Who’s going to buy after hearing this nonsense ? First it’s rules about a dog, what next? No sane person will buy op property.

…so along comes another family member who bags it at a greatly reduced price…

@SionnachRua

Think it's far more likely that OP has a neighbour who wants to control and bully the new blood out of their family's road than they have a neighbour whose child has a highly improbable, rare level of allergy, tbh.

This to me seems far more believable! A child apparently at such risk would not go to a public school.

Regardless of the severity of the allergy, a dog separated by a 6' tall fence and a row of hedges poses no risk to the child.

They are going to have a come up with a way for this child to navigate life in a world with dogs. They can only control her environment for so long. How is she going to go to college, get a job, etc.? There's no way to ensure that every person she comes in contact with in life hasn't had recent contact with a dog.

Exactly.

I cannot understand why the NDN family didn't club together and buy the house - if financially stretched then on a BTL mortgage where they could specify to new tenants no dogs and no visiting dogs.

How do they expect this child ever to have a job, for instance? No customer facing jobs ever - the first stepping stone for many - and no employer is going to entertain a scenario where the entry level employee dictates that no new employees can be employed if they own a dog and no existing employees are allowed to adopt one.

HaveringWavering

Bargebill19
But the neighbours have made the house unsellable. This would have to declared?
Who’s going to buy after hearing this nonsense ? First it’s rules about a dog, what next? No sane person will buy op property.
…so along comes another family member who bags it at a greatly reduced price…

Exactly.

@SionnachRua

Think it's far more likely that OP has a neighbour who wants to control and bully the new blood out of their family's road than they have a neighbour whose child has a highly improbable, rare level of allergy, tbh.

Good point.

I'd lease the house to some dog breeders and move on.

This would have to declared?

Would it though? There's been no formal complaints of any type.

I don't think the parents will ever sell because they have their entire family on the road. That is their way of 'isolating' their child from others except the one house that OP bought. The only way the family can ensure there are never dogs next door is to buy OP's house?

How will this child go to uni or get a job or have children of her own? The parents can't ensure no one she, her potential future partner, potential children, potential inlaws, etc comes in contact with for the rest of her life will not have a dog. I've just had a grocery delivery. How do I know if the driver has a dog? Or what about any of the people in the shop I went into earlier today. Or what about the postman who comes to my door every day? Or what about the public transport I used earlier? Do her parents go into shops or have jobs or go anywhere where they will come into contact with someone who has a dog? How do they stop any potential dogs hairs they've accidentally picked up going into the home or car? If this allergy is really true I feel very sad for this child.

@Bargebill19

But the neighbours have made the house unsellable. This would have to declared? Who’s going to buy after hearing this nonsense ? First it’s rules about a dog, what next? No sane person will buy op property.

And to add on to that, if she can't sell it on the open market, OP might be persuaded to sell it to one of the family for cheap...

@yellowsubmarines

Although I asked it as a question because I don’t know for definite …I think they may have to declare. Imagine the scenario where the house is sold without disclosure, and a new owner wants to own a dog or start a dog walking sitting business etc etc.and then the bat shit neighbour reveals that they went through all this with the previous neighbours blah blah blah. I wonder if the new owners would be able to sue?
So I wonder would they have to declare? If yes, then the house is pretty much unsellable
other than to other family mementos they bat shit neighbour. As others have pointed out at a much reduced price.
Win win for the cul de sac mafia.

How does your neighbour even know when the dog is in the garden if there is a 6 foot fence? Maybe you should do as Redcart21 suggested, look up and print out info about dog allergens to back up your point that a dog in a neighbouring garden is not likely to have any effect.

[quote Bargebill19]@yellowsubmarines

Although I asked it as a question because I don’t know for definite …I think they may have to declare. Imagine the scenario where the house is sold without disclosure, and a new owner wants to own a dog or start a dog walking sitting business etc etc.and then the bat shit neighbour reveals that they went through all this with the previous neighbours blah blah blah. I wonder if the new owners would be able to sue?
So I wonder would they have to declare? If yes, then the house is pretty much unsellable
other than to other family mementos they bat shit neighbour. As others have pointed out at a much reduced price.
Win win for the cul de sac mafia.[/quote]
There are plenty of people who don’t like dogs and will never own one who would still buy it.

You don’t have to declare anything that isn’t formally complained about

Some cultures thinks dogs are dirty animals. Could it be that this thought is exacerbating their reaction to you having a dog?

@Staffy1 really?? I would be running away wondering what other crap the neighbnors wanted to dictate - they’ve already said the op couldn’t use their own paid for drive for both their cars. There is no way anyone can spin that as being reasonable.
It doesn’t make you wonder what else they will expect the op or any other buyer to follow ?

If this was such a huge issue, how were they so sure whomever bought your house didn't have a dog and would move in with it?

Did the EA know.

Either they need to move and leave you and your dog in peace.

@Henryhoover12

You don’t have to declare anything that isn’t formally complained about

Thank you!

In that case, if you did ever decide to sell - make it to a dog breeder. (I know you said your were t going to sell but just if you do).

You weren’t… sorry. Not were t

Jesus H Christ on a bicycle.

The amount of people on this thread who’ve decided that having a child means that anybody in the proximity of that child must live their life as if they themselves were its parent - truly, truly bonkers.

I’m not a dog person and I’ve no children so no skin in the game but if my NDN handed me a list of behaviours I now have to comply with as if I’m suddenly a co-parent, I’d tell them where to go.

I’ve every sympathy for allergy sufferers and would of course take reasonable steps to ensure that my actions didn’t cause harm, but no more than that. It is not my responsibility to redesign my life on the basis so as to avoid what a PP described as the teensiest adverse effect on my NDN’s wellbeing.

You cannot realistically make everyone else liable for your child’s life. People should do reasonable things to avoid danger to others but you can’t just dictate that everyone lives in a really precise way and expect them to follow without objection. That’s the case even if the consequences for your child are as severe as this - it simply isn’t a moral obligation for others to sacrifice their free will to accommodate someone else.

To use another example - air pollution has been found to have contributed to the death of a child. Yet nobody is forcing the entire population of the UK to give up their cars. Encouraging, yes. But not forcing.

So I guess I’m hoping that all of those on the thread saying that OP is being unreasonable don’t own or use a car regularly. If anything that’s even worse than a dog, as a car isn’t a living creature!

@AudacityBaby

Jesus H Christ on a bicycle.

The amount of people on this thread who’ve decided that having a child means that anybody in the proximity of that child must live their life as if they themselves were its parent - truly, truly bonkers.

I’m not a dog person and I’ve no children so no skin in the game but if my NDN handed me a list of behaviours I now have to comply with as if I’m suddenly a co-parent, I’d tell them where to go.

I’ve every sympathy for allergy sufferers and would of course take reasonable steps to ensure that my actions didn’t cause harm, but no more than that. It is not my responsibility to redesign my life on the basis so as to avoid what a PP described as the teensiest adverse effect on my NDN’s wellbeing.

You cannot realistically make everyone else liable for your child’s life. People should do reasonable things to avoid danger to others but you can’t just dictate that everyone lives in a really precise way and expect them to follow without objection. That’s the case even if the consequences for your child are as severe as this - it simply isn’t a moral obligation for others to sacrifice their free will to accommodate someone else.

Hilarious is that of course we have all embraced doing just that for the past year have we not? I have had my life dictated with rules which I have followed (despite them infringing on my free will) to protect others who are vulnerable. I hated that too and it has affected my life a lot more than not having a pet.... But there we are.

@Washyourtoes Bit different when it’s a question of legality though. If OP’s neighbour manages to get the law changed so that nobody next door to her can own a dog then that’s a whole other ball game.

I’m talking about a neighbour who thinks she can impose rules on another person, and posters here who think the neighbour is correct because of moral obligations. I don’t accept that at all.