To retract/reduce offer of a spare room... AIBU?

[MrD20]

Hello all
In a bit of a predicament. Am expecting some pushback on this but I accept my mistake of being too forthcoming and not fully sincere in it!
A friend from my running club is currently in the process of completing on her new house & her tenancy is due to run out in her old house before completion (leaving her/her partner without a place to stay for what they anticipate to be a “short” but unclear period of time) she is relocating to London which is about 2 hours from here. Recently during a post run coffee within the group she mentioned this and how this was stressful and she was worried about being left short of a place to stay etc, at which point I said “Well if you need anything, a place to stay or store your stuff let me know”. Being totally honest, having never met her partner , and my partner having never met either of them - I wasn’t sure this would be followed through.

Today she has called me, stating that they now anticipate that they will not complete on their house in time, leaving them without somewhere to stay from next Tuesday. And “could they stay with us - they appreciate its asking a lot”. I said I would speak to my partner and get back to them. Having spoken to my partner - he is understandably a bit frustrated with me; but also not opposed to them staying, however due to the space we have, work, my partner is also not in great health and the fact we are due to have family come to stay next weekend also, we really don’t want this to be an extended thing. I think it could get awkward.
They anticipated they “should” get the keys by next weekend (but this is NOT confirmed; so there’s every chance it could go on for several weeks)
AIBU to say yes they can stay, but we are able to offer the spare room from Monday - Friday, and then from Friday night onwards they’ll need to find somewhere else to stay??

Thanks everyone. I think there a few people sadly on this thread who think I am “fake” or portraying “pretend kindness”. I would challenge them to think if they’ve never made an offer and although graciously followed through with it, internally sighed and thought “well this isn’t ideal.” I don’t think I’m a bad or “nasty” person for that.

I offered a couple of nights; their request sounded open ended - I worried about that and so offered a clear compromise which was still keeping in with my original offer. At no point did I say “you can stay as long as you need with a few days notice, rent free and open ended .” As some of you have kindly said, I am still essentially offering 2 acquaintances free lodgings for 4 nights. If me not jumping up and down with excitement makes me a bad person, then so be it.

Thank you everyone who recognised the difficulty in the situation, giving me some good feedback. For those of you calling me fake, nasty etc. I suggest you reflect on your own kindness. @Aprilx @SixesAndEights

It's a good solution, but please let this be a lesson to you to learn some boundaries and not to open your mouth with offers like this. I'd be very frustrated with you if I were your partner.

@MrD20

Thanks everyone. I think there a few people sadly on this thread who think I am “fake” or portraying “pretend kindness”. I would challenge them to think if they’ve never made an offer and although graciously followed through with it, internally sighed and thought “well this isn’t ideal.” I don’t think I’m a bad or “nasty” person for that.

I offered a couple of nights; their request sounded open ended - I worried about that and so offered a clear compromise which was still keeping in with my original offer. At no point did I say “you can stay as long as you need with a few days notice, rent free and open ended .” As some of you have kindly said, I am still essentially offering 2 acquaintances free lodgings for 4 nights. If me not jumping up and down with excitement makes me a bad person, then so be it.

Thank you everyone who recognised the difficulty in the situation, giving me some good feedback. For those of you calling me fake, nasty etc. I suggest you reflect on your own kindness. @Aprilx @SixesAndEights

Op you have been overly generous to accommodate these people. I wouldn't be offering to cook for them each evening. I would assume they will have the cop on to eat out and just come back for bedtime. I'd go as far as leaving a box of cereal out on the counter for breakfast and maybe bread for toast. You certainly shouldn't be out of pocket for people you aren't even that friendly with. I'll be honest, if Dh ever offered accommodation to anyone it just wouldn't happen and he'd have to uninvite them. I simply couldn't host someone I wasn't very close to. In future take a few moments to think before you get yourself into a similar situation.

@caringcarer
@strawberrydonuts
@Whinginadeville
@LonstantonSpiceMuseum
@SixesAndEights
@starfishmummy
@Aprilx
@TillyTottenham

RTFT!! OP has been more than kind!!

OP hopefully it's a lesson learnt - it's very easy to just say what they want to hear in the moment and I get why you did it, its instantly gratifying to say things like that.

What should they have done? They got an offer from someone, and probably thought it was okay. I personally don't mind people staying at mine, and it's not as big hassle for me, and it might be the same for them.
So I can see why they would think it's no problem or not question it. I personally would have double checked but I know not everyone does.

The issue is changing plans at the last minute not about the content of the offer itself. They could have had time to put something other arrangements in place.

You're not unreasonable to feel annoyed by it - I would be angry with myself too. The only thing you can do now is put the situation to them and see if they can do something.
If they can, they can, if they can't they can't

I think you came to a good compromise and as they are acquaintances rather than close friends it was still very generous. Hope it goes smoothly for all concerned. The only part where you were unreasonable was to offer in the first place without thinking of your partner or what it would actually involve. You have said it is a bad trait of yours but as a partner I would be so frustrated with you. You really should work on that. Otherwise it came from a good place and a compromise achieved so no harm done.

Thank you everyone. They have actually taken me up on my offer & were very grateful. They plan on staying with us to bridge the gap between moving out of current place & putting some large items in storage for the 3 nights specified; then get a hotel from Friday if the need arises.

Thanks for the update. You might all get on! You might also find that they don't want to impose and stay out most of the day. At least there is a finite end.

If you do get one, maybe they will have you stay at their new place in the future?