I left an note…

[Whiskytangofoxtrot12345]

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

No, their kids all run away, they can't manage getting them and all their other kids across a car park safely, and a ton of other flimsy reasons but of course everyone else is 'lazy'.

Ah, OK. Didn't realise there were so many errant toddlers on the loose

@Mumsgirls

Thanks to those who have objected to my name being used as an insult again. Been a couple of weeks since we had one! Glad you now get it op. Don’t know why mumsnet allows this, the only subject of undeserved abuse that seems to be ok ?

Oh I don’t know. Check some of the casual ageism out some time.

I have a confession to make. When my mum was very old - over 90 - and the useless county council refused her a blue badge, I always used those spaces when I took her shopping. If I’d come back to find a snippy, passive aggressive note on the windscreen, I’d have been furious.

@osbertthesyrianhamster
I didn’t say “surely”. I was just asking the question.

I think it smacks of self importance to park somewhere no intended for you.

@peeweemermaid
Bit extreme 😂😂 it’s not a case of not coping. I just want them to be safe while we’re there and not have to sit in a trolley with traffic going by unnecessarily ☺️

@IToldYouIWasFreaky
It’s not a massive issue. I feel bad for leaving the note. It’s a massive pain in the arse. We also can’t get delivery easily where we are…also shouldn’t have to if people respected the rules put in place by the car park company 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Anotheruser02
I think that’s why I feel bad for leaving it. I get why I did but feel bad about it now.

@vivainsomnia

I really really really don't get why people would park there when they don't have kids in pushchairs. The only group that can be forgiven are the disabled where there are no disabled space.

I see people with kids over 8 park there. Why? Are they really so lazy that it is worth it to avoid walking a few extra yards?

You can have special needs kids over 8 years old.

@IPacificallySaid

Don't feel bad for leaving a note. Selfish, inconsiderate f**s who do this. They lack the ability to park in a standard space. They expect parents to have enough room in these standard spaces to safely remove young children/pushchairs, while avoiding smacking the cars beside them. Prcks.

I find this type of ire about a parking bay hilarious. It's beyond precious, IMO.

the people who do it really wont be swayed. They dont give a shit. Theres a woman who does it in my local waitrose every week. I worked their years ago and already know her to be a stuck up wanker as a customer so while I do shake my head very obviosuly at her I doubt she'd care

Its something that annoys me but only for a second. I do shake my head or say something loudly to my dc in the tiny hope of making someone feel uncomfortable for it

@osbertthesyrianhamster

They won't care and are probably still laughing at the note.

And no, 'surely' not all disabled children are awarded a blue badge and often enough all those bays are full.

The P&C spaces are a courtesy (that should be abolished or put at the back of the car park IMO).

People don't give a shit if you think they're lazy, selfish, whatever. It doesn't bother most a jot what others think as long as those others aren't paying their bills, family, etc.

A note just smacks of self-importance.

God this is one of those subjects that brings out the ridiculous mumsnet posters.

Parent and child spaces should be put at the back of the car park? So that the people holding hands with young kids/pushing a buggy and holding a toddlers hand/caring for children with SEN who don’t have road danger should have to walk the FURTHEST out of every customer across the busy car park. If they want to get the benefit of a space with the hatched extra space for getting children/car seats/buggies in and out. Cool, sounds fair and sensible!

Being heavily pregnant and with terrible pain whilst weight bearing I did once use a space in the parent and child section, but it wasn't the last one. I could only get out of the car with the door open really wide, so wide I needed one of those spaces and couldn't walk far.

Someone had a real go at me for it and threatened to block me in so I just left without going inside. I think your note was absolutely fine because I would hope if someone didn't need the space it would make them think. If they did, hopefully they'll just ignore it. A note is much better than shouting abuse or blocking someone who may have needed it in as some people seem to do!

@1starwars2

They are not legally enforced and I don't think you can be fined. Surely if you have to park further away you leave babies in car strapped in while you get the trolley, put all in trolley walk across car park. It's a minor inconvenience and wouldn't stop me shopping. I would get a lot more worked up about people parking in essential disabled spaces.

Most three year olds no longer fit in trolleys so this doesn’t actually help. For lots of us who really need these we have children who might later be eligible for blue badge but we don’t yet have to the paperwork (thanks to ridiculous nhs waiting lists!).

This used to really annoy me, so I decided to start parking near a trolley park further away from the entrance where there weren't any other cars so I could still open the doors wide, and just put them straight into a trolley.

Honestly, it did wonders for my stress levels!

Why should I have to park further away when I've got a wild toddler to get out the car and almost man handle into the shop just because some lazy twat has decided they can't be bothered to walk the extra minute with no parental/caring responsibilities? Come on, dear. Be sensible.

If your kid is that wild, do your shopping online. That would be more sensible dear.

Of course, you can also take the stance that people don’t mind if you touch their car with your door, just because there isn’t enough space and go for it. Would it work for you@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult?

Park at the back of the carpark where there is loads of room since it isn't about being near the door. That might work better for you

Now, now, InBlue. I have a child with SN but the precious ones say 'surely' all children who have SN have a blue badge so shouldn't be using the P&C spaces. You don't have to use them if they're at the back of the car park. They weren't a thing for some of us and we managed to get everyone in and out of the car park safely before they came along.

Well, it was enough of an issue for you to leave a note and start a MN thread about it!
Why not click and collect if delivery is difficult? You wouldn't even need to get the kids out of the car for that.

Yanbu this annoys me too! I know if disabled parking is full people with disabilities using the spaces is widely seen as acceptable but I reckon most people who park there without kids are just being lazy and wanting more space to protect their precious car or closer to the store. I never parked in those spaces before I was heavily pregnant (at that point I needed the space to open the car door enough to get out!) So I don't see why anyone else should. I never park in them if I don't have DD with me!

Private companies can't "fine" anyone.

P&C spaces are bollocks. Supermarkets provide them as they want people to spend money and they think that you might spend more if you have children.

If research showed that people called Deidre spent the most money in supermarkets they would have special places for Deidres instead.

If the problem is just that people can't get their PFB in and out of a car without a bigger space they could put the bigger spaces at the far end of the car park and then no one would bother with them, but they don't, they put them near the door hoping that you'll like the convenience so might shop with them.

The spaces are there to try to attract particular shoppers, not for any other reason.

Disabled spaces = 100% to be respected.
PFB spaces = who really cares.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here regarding what you see as older children. My son is 12 looks older mind you, now we park in child spaces if they are free rather then using our blue badge to park in a disabled space. My son does not look disabled nor does he look young enough to be using the other spaces, appearances can be deceiving not everything is at it seems please just be aware

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Now, now, InBlue. I have a child with SN but the precious ones say 'surely' all children who have SN have a blue badge so shouldn't be using the P&C spaces. You don't have to use them if they're at the back of the car park. They weren't a thing for some of us and we managed to get everyone in and out of the car park safely before they came along.

Huh, are you replying to me? This doesn’t seem to relate to what I said at all.

Okay, whatever.

True, Sofia.

Park at the back of the carpark where there is loads of room since it isn't about being near the door. That might work better for you smile

Hmm…. My two dcs are teenagers and can walk pretty well on their own. It’s not about me. You being condescending towards me won’t change a thing about the situation.
But I’ve just learnt that you clearly dint mind If people either

• use two spaces where ever there are spaces.
• touch your car with their doors because there just isn’t space for them to take their dc out.

That’s great. Thanks for the heads up @DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult
(Very apt name btw )

We have the same situation here, but I manage to park elsewhere and get my 3 year old and 1 year old out and have for some time, even when younger. I mean what did people do before these spaces existed? They managed right?

It does annoy me, but then I remind myself I. Not entitled to those spaces really and having two kids is not a disability, it's hardly a massive hardship.

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345

Wouldn’t they have a blue badge though?

It's not exactly easy to get a blue badge.

I am not entitled

I also think it's true that anyone finding a note on their windscreen will not change their behaviour because of that, even if they're undoubtedly in the wrong, so it is completely pointless.

I got a note on my car for parking sensibly on a residential street with no restrictions - I actually took some pleasure in reading it, laughing, and then pushing it through the nearest front door. I am now more likely to park on that street because someone tried to rattle me (and they dared to touch my car ). People are a bit bloody-minded like that.

I find this type of ire about a parking bay hilarious. It's beyond precious, IMO.

You find it 'beyond precious' that the parent and child spaces should be for parent and child??? The irony 😂😂😂😂

now we park in child spaces if they are free rather then using our blue badge to park in a disabled space

Why? Just why? That’s completely bonkers. Use the bloody spaces your blue badge entitles you to.