To hate that everyone comments on the size of my child?!

[waitingforwinter]

8months old, and has consistently been around 98th centile for weight and 75th for height. He’s a big boy - I’m aware of it - I pushed him out 🤣🤣😅
Is it really the first thing people need to comment on?!
“ohhh...he’s a chunky thing isn’t he?!”
“Well he’s certainly not being underfed”
“Jeeez, what on earth are you feeding him?!”
“He’s a big lad isn’t he?! Has the HV checked his weight?!”
This is from strangers in the street as well as family etc 🙈 I’m plus size myself so maybe more sensitive to the weight comments than others! I feel like people are looking at my size then seeing him and think I’m weaning him on burgers and biscuits 🙈

Is this a normal thing that people comment on? I don’t thing I’ve ever commented on a child’s size 🤔🙄

@Soosiesoo

Oh I get this with my daughter all the time. She's 9 now and has always been tall for her age and all we've ever had is 'oh she's huge' 'isn't she massive' and I really hate it. Why do people feel the need to comment on her size all the time using such negative language.

Now I just say, 'I know, she's beautifully tall, isn't she lucky!', especially when she is in earshot.

Inside I'm thinking, fuck off!

@Soosiesoo People commenting on things about babies is bad enough but commenting when your DD is old enough to understand is awful 😔 that would make me furious!

With my middle child I used to get lots of concerned whispers. Oh, she’s a little one, a wee scrap of a thing, isn’t she tiny. Everywhere I went people would ask how old she was - expecting me to say a few days and I said eight or nine weeks or whatever and they would ask me if she was born prematurely or do the head tilt and just say “preemie?” I got a lot of gasps and concerned interventions about how I was holding her, feeding her etc all down to her tiny size.

She wasn’t premature and she was born a boringly average 8lb 11oz.

Well there isn't much else to comment on, they can hardly talk about his personality or interests or skills! They are likely only commenting to make conversation, 8 month olds are incredibly boring to anyone other than there immediate relatives.

I think we need to all stop normalising comments about people's size - be it tall, wide or anything else. my 9yo is very small for her age and people comment on it like she's doing it on purpose. The hair dresser did it the other day. "Blimey look how short you are. Never seen such a short 9 year old. My daughter is your age and you'd come up to her chest" Pisses poor DD right off. I'm sure the hairdresser wouldn't have liked it if I'd said something like "jeez sounds like your kid's built like a brick shithouse!"

I agree it's so rude and can be very upsetting. No mum wants to feel she is being criticised, usually indirectly, by strangers. Ignore. Most people feel they need to comment but aren't astute enough to say something uncontroversial.

I had it the other way as my two are on the lower percentiles and very slight. It used to get to me a lot.

Now whenever I want to comment on a baby it's usually, what beautiful blue/brown eyes/ hair or what a pretty outfit.
Learnt the hard way 😅

My DS (10 week prem, 2 pounder) is below the 0.4th and size of a six month old (ish). People comment constantly.... He looks quite scary walking though 🤣 under the dietician etc but no concerns from anyone, he's just small! His dad weighs absolutely nothing and is about 5 foot 6....DS didn't have a chance bless him

I think its rude to comment like that to be honest

People just say what they think you want to hear. Dc2 was a proper potato, but no one ever said that. They'd have been correct, but they didn't.

Proper LOL. Us DC2s are always potatoes after the perfect awesome gods that are DC1s. We're used to it

Everyone is always saying how massive DD is at 10yo. She thinks it's great. She tells everyone all the adults she's already older than. Lists them off!

He's a baby. Being big is a good think - they're saying he's thriving!

Thong*

Fucksake thing*

Yeah it's normal ...people are obsessed with size of baby's.

My son was 11lb 6oz when he was born ...he was like a little Mitchelin man ...omg I loved his baby fat, all the rolls on his arms & legs lol

I love a chubby baby .... just so gorgeous!

Try not to take it to heart, they grow out of it. My son was a big boy & was very hungry, I didn't over feed him, he was just a chubby baby, he was born chubby lol ... as he got older and more active, crawling, walking, running, climbing he soon lost it. He's 15 now & tall & thin.

If anyone gives you a nasty remark, reply, "oh wow, that's very rude of you, keep your nasty comments to yourself please".

Hopefully they'll feel incredibly embarrassed of themselves

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

I think we need to all stop normalising comments about people's size - be it tall, wide or anything else. my 9yo is very small for her age and people comment on it like she's doing it on purpose. The hair dresser did it the other day. "Blimey look how short you are. Never seen such a short 9 year old. My daughter is your age and you'd come up to her chest" Pisses poor DD right off. I'm sure the hairdresser wouldn't have liked it if I'd said something like "jeez sounds like your kid's built like a brick shithouse!"

I completely agree! Like a parent or the child has any control over how fast their bones grow or how the lay down fat. It’s the constant policing of bodies, and it starts from birth.

People talk about children and their size like they aren’t even there. It wouldn’t be considered normal conversation to go up to an adult and saying ‘blimey you’re fat’ so why is it to comment on children’s size.

I’ve got a little one too and the comments are really shocking.

Both my children were pretty chunky not long before they started walking, my son had enormous thighs too -
They're 9&12 now and both tall, slim and I think the size just feeds into growth spurts

Just smile and ignore

My DD has always been very large, 97th centile. Everyone always says how big she is as their first comment which I find annoying because there’s much more to her than how big she is! I totally get your frustration.

FWIW I can see why you would be sensitive due to your weight issues but I am very slim (BMI 19) so I don’t think the comments are because you’re bigger. People just love to comment on babies’ size.

I mean this kindly, because everyone's sensitive about their babies. But you're in a very privileged position that I would love to be in. I actually get annoyed at people getting annoyed at these comments!

All I said I wanted when I was pregnant both times was a fat, healthy baby with rolls and cute fat cheeks. Both times, I've had horrendous feeding problems that have meant the first 4 months were spent in medical appointments and being worried sick. I honestly can't tell you how jealous I am of people with fat babies (and people who have never experienced feeding problems).

“I know, I’m a goddess eh? Want to see my episiotomy scar from getting him out?” 😉

I think people are just looking for things to say and agree that it’s probably meant as a positive - I loved my little chunk and now he’s lean and running everywhere I miss his thigh rolls and wrist dimples.

But culturally yeah, we could do with being less obsessed about body shapes.

Who doesn’t love a chunky baby though

Yeah it's bloody annoying. I've got a 98th centile dc, if a stranger makes small talk I say she's older than she really is to avoid hearing these comments.

DS is 4.5 and very tall. He is literally a head and shoulders above his class. I’m constantly asked how old he is then told “gosh he is really tall isn’t he?!” Doesn’t matter where we go it’s mentioned. I’m used to it but I’ve found people expect more of him because they think he is older.
I now have the opposite with DD who is 5 months old and very tiny (2nd centile) and again I’m asked why she is so small/does she not eat etc. I think it’s worse when they are babies when people comment and even worse when it’s your first.
I loved the rolls on my DS at that age and would just tell people how lovely they are.

DS1 was pretty big - mostly long, though - and DS2 is enormous (he's outgrowing his 6-9m clothes currently and he's not yet 5m) so I'm used to this! I also got it myself as a very tall child. I'm a pretty tall adult - I'm 5'10 and DH is 6'3 so I'm not sure why people are astonished by our gigantic children! I generally don't mind it. They are both noticeably large for their age (though DS1, who is now 3, is very tall and skinny rather than chubby now - the baby has fat rolls upon fat rolls and looks gorgeous on it!) so I guess it's an obvious if boring thing to comment on.

The one thing that's starting to bother me is that people often assume DS1 is older than he is and expect him to behave accordingly, or expect him to behave differently to/be more considerate to another child of the same age because he's bigger than them. I think his nursery sometimes forget he's the youngest child they have in the preschool room (he's a July baby) because he's physically among the biggest and I suspect that'll also happen at school.

@NotExactlyHappyToHelp

My friends baby is a boster as we say round our way. I’m always commenting on it because I love it. My baby was a big’un and the podgy cheeks and elastic band wrists take me back to when DS was that age. Incidentally he’s now in secondary and a beanpole of a child.

I’m sure people aren’t meaning to be offensive when they comment. As long as your not puréeing happy meals to feed them I’d just laugh it off.

My Dad's from Dublin and he uses all those phrases!

People always comment on the s

People always comment on the size of children. They think it about adults. But mostly don't say it out loud. We are size obsessed for some reason! Just ignore it OP. Or take it as a compliment? 🤷‍♀️

I love people commenting on how big DS is. He's 99.6th for weight and 98th for height, he's the size of a 3 month old at 6 weeks. I just say "yep he's thriving!" He's a big strong boy and I made him!