To hate that everyone comments on the size of my child?!

[waitingforwinter]

8months old, and has consistently been around 98th centile for weight and 75th for height. He’s a big boy - I’m aware of it - I pushed him out 🤣🤣😅
Is it really the first thing people need to comment on?!
“ohhh...he’s a chunky thing isn’t he?!”
“Well he’s certainly not being underfed”
“Jeeez, what on earth are you feeding him?!”
“He’s a big lad isn’t he?! Has the HV checked his weight?!”
This is from strangers in the street as well as family etc 🙈 I’m plus size myself so maybe more sensitive to the weight comments than others! I feel like people are looking at my size then seeing him and think I’m weaning him on burgers and biscuits 🙈

Is this a normal thing that people comment on? I don’t thing I’ve ever commented on a child’s size 🤔🙄

I get the inverse all the f’ing time and tbh I do find it quite rude. DD is 21 months and in between 9/25th centile and I’ve had people come up to me from the time she was 1 month old and ask with a sympathetic look on their face ‘ is she, you know, ok?’ Out of the blue, implying she has some sort of health condition. I’ve been asked if she has dwarfism (by a total stranger) accused of starving her and all sorts. Then there is the of course generic oh are you sure she’s x months, she’s so small. I do find it rude, as they are just pointing out a way she looks ‘different’.

I’ve always put it down to our society’s obsession with big portions and big kids and I’d never really thought of it the other way around. If it helps OP, when people say ‘oh isn’t he big’ I do think they probably mean it as a compliment.

I think it’s kind of sad how as a society we start policing body’s practically from birth. I know how people put it down to small talk but ultimately you wouldn’t say this kind of stuff about an adult, and there are many things that could be said instead of commenting on size, such as ‘he’s lovely’ etc.

@EKGEMS

Many moons ago I was in the children's hospital with my baby about same age as yours and a church member brought me lunch and she called her spouse in front of me to say "Yeah he looks like a cute,normal baby can't tell anything is wrong with him" He has cerebral palsy and we were shielding him from large gatherings as he was on oxygen and vulnerable so obviously not everyone at church had seen him! I'm usually not a shrinking violet but I was just speechless at that! Some people are just rude and ignorant!

@EKGEMS Oh my 😳 I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut at that!! What a cow 😓

@Polkadots2021

I feel for you OP, one of my son's got that kind of attention and once a random stranger angrily shouted as we walked past 'your baby is fat!'. I was so upset but then couldn't stop laughing when I told my friend later as it was so ridiculous. It was just his size he was meant to be - he's pretty lean now but more broad shoulders than other kids and looks like he is going to be tall - he'll grow up really strong, I think.

@Polkadots2021 😅😅 I think if anyone was that bold I’d hit them 🙈 people are unreal!!

My four year old has freckles, lots. People always comment, and I get an itchy fist. Yanbu.

I had this my ds, one health visitor referred to him as a prize turkey!

That would annoy me but I do think you should just laugh it off. It's a feature that stands out to people at the minute. If it wasn't that, it's usually something like curly hair, ginger hair, blonde hair, big eyes etc. It is rude but you know he's a gorgeous chubby baby.

Mine was 10lb 1 born and really swollen with water and we actually got some outright rude comments!

"He looks like a sumo wrestler" which I thought was a bit unnecessary.

He's really slim and long now, he's 21 months and I haven't had him weighed due to lockdowns but he looks older than he is and people are often shocked when they find out his age.

I'd never comment on anyone's baby's size

@MargaretFraggle

Argh, people say the most annoying things about babies. Please don't let them make you worry though. My son was a very similar percentile to yours from birth (with a head off the charts!), but is now seven and (though tall) not overweight at all.

@MargaretFraggle Yeah I think that’s what annoys me more actually - I’ve never been concerned about his size at all! Neither has the HV or the GP 🤷🏻‍♀️ He’s such a healthy boy and is absolutely smashing all his milestones! He was an early roller and crawler and is pulling to stand and has been starting to cruise and climb on furniture since 7.5m 🙈 his size definitely isn’t slowing him down 🤣 but when people CONSTANTLY mention it and question it it makes you doubt your judgement a bit!

@ladygindiva

My four year old has freckles, lots. People always comment, and I get an itchy fist. Yanbu.

@ladygindiva I get itchy fist a lot too 😬 I honestly don’t mind the nice comments - he’s a gorgeous chubby boy and I’m delighted that he’s healthy! It’s the ones that come with the judging undertone! “What a gorgeous big boy!” - fine “Ohhh...you’re certainly not under feeding him” - not fine

I'm not in the least maternal but there is something about a chunky/chubby baby! Love them, they are adorable.

@wjg65ka

Mine was 10lb 1 born and really swollen with water and we actually got some outright rude comments!

"He looks like a sumo wrestler" which I thought was a bit unnecessary.

He's really slim and long now, he's 21 months and I haven't had him weighed due to lockdowns but he looks older than he is and people are often shocked when they find out his age.

I'd never comment on anyone's baby's size

@wjg65ka Yeah some people are just downright rude! I’d never comment either! My second time out the house with baby I was told my a delightful lady that I was “lucky I was so big because a slim lady wouldn’t have been able to birth a baby that big without help” 🙈🤣 I’m a size 18 and DS was 8lb 11oz.

Ah op I feel your pain. DC1 was born average size and by the time he was 2.5 months old he was starting to wear 6-9 month clothes. At 9 months he looked like we had used a shoe horn to get him in his pram. We had to snip the tops of all of his socks as his little legs were so chunky. The comments were non stop. We fed him healthily, and like yours he hit all of his milestones in time to spare.
He is now 15yo 6ft 3” and as healthy a boy as you could meet. Not a scrap of fat on him, despite being a little chunker as a baby.

@Phrowzunn

Oh I’m guilty of this - sorry! Having had two big squishy babies myself I only ever mean it as a compliment. The bigger the cuter in my opinion. (Although tiny little old man babies with all their wrinkly skin and sparrow legs are also very cute!). I also looove babies with lots of hair and always wanted one with red hair! [sigh]

@Phrowzunn I’m sure you comment in a nice way though! People can tell me he’s a gorgeous chunky boy all day long - he absolutely is! But the “ohhh you’re certainly not under feeding him” type comments are not ok! 🙈

In the nicest possible way OP it sounds like you might be projecting your insecurities a bit here. I’m sure your boy is healthy and gorgeous.

I too have twins and have had plenty of judgemental comments about the size of my babies being large. Mainly though I was just proud of their size, that they gained a load of weight and were on track same as a singleton. I remember feeling most affronted when one woman said they were small! After answering her grilling about birth weights, she concluded that she’d not been around little babies in a while as mine weighed more than hers did 😳 wasn’t a discussion I got into btw, she did the grilling, I just answered.

It’s funny really, when people commented on how massive I was during pregnancy (and I was bloody huge) I was so upset. But commenting on my babies sizes was a Good thing in my head, meant they were growing strong and healthy and the fact there was two of them didn’t hold them back.

My worst comment received so far is from some dickwad chap telling me about the invention of tv and how I’d not have had two if I’d known about it. Never mind they’re ivf babies and all that science, it was the lack of telly what did it. That one upset me.

The nicest one was a lovely lady who said I was lucky to have double the joy instead of double trouble.

@Rubyupbeat

Blimey, people are so sensitive.... My boys were extremely tall, it was commented on all the time. Sometimes people think they are being kind, its unlikely it's ever done in nastiness. It's like most mums on here hate anyone even looking at their babies/children.

@Rubyupbeat I’m happy for people to look at my gorgeous boy all day long - and I absolutely do not mind the lovely comments! Even comments about his size that are said in a nice way are very welcome! But there are definitely some that come with a very judgemental tone - whether they’re meant that way or not!

@Zhampagne

In the nicest possible way OP it sounds like you might be projecting your insecurities a bit here. I’m sure your boy is healthy and gorgeous.

@Zhampagne That definitely plays a part in it - I’ve admitted that myself! I often wonder if there would be as many of the judgemental sounding comments if I was a size 8 or if they’d all just be positive “what a gorgeous big boy!” type comments.

@IHateCoronavirus

Ah op I feel your pain. DC1 was born average size and by the time he was 2.5 months old he was starting to wear 6-9 month clothes. At 9 months he looked like we had used a shoe horn to get him in his pram. We had to snip the tops of all of his socks as his little legs were so chunky. The comments were non stop. We fed him healthily, and like yours he hit all of his milestones in time to spare. He is now 15yo 6ft 3” and as healthy a boy as you could meet. Not a scrap of fat on him, despite being a little chunker as a baby.

@IHateCoronavirus They just all grow at their own rate don’t they?! 🙈 I feel like I’m constantly buying clothes 🙈🤣 It’s funny though - my DS doesn’t even look like a chubby baby - he just looks about 18m old 🙈

I think that is exactly it op “They grow at their own rate.” Some of our little darlings just tend to be a bit faster at growing than others.

That would be me OP, I love a Buddha baby, as mine get older I get worse and just want to squeeze though chunky thighs

At 8 months, I bet he's just squidgy gorgeousness - not sure I'm helping

Mine were tiny. Wanted to cut the head off the people who banged on about it. Had to learn to ignore. Managed after 8 years…..

@Dillydollydingdong

Mine was so tall he looked like a 6 year old when he was only 3. And yes, people commented on it.

Snap! I don't mind people commenting on him at all, but it's awkward when people assume he's much older (6) and I can see them silently judging. I always pipe up and say "oh he's a bit shy, but I suppose that's normal at 3" - most people look really shocked and adjust their expectations accordingly.

I think with babies comments on how big they are are usually intended as compliments - human beings regress to an innate recognition that a chubby well fed baby is more likely to survive the winter

I only the other hand have a very petite child who is impossible to bulk up and also gets comments on her size, all of which are very obviously laced with concern.

My not so little boy was 9lb 8oz born and people are saying the same things. So annoying! But he is loving his weaning journey so far and I love that he loves it, makes it much more enjoyable. Try to ignore the ignorant comments, they probably mean well (in the same way people come out with stupid crap when you’re pregnant) are you sure there aren’t twins in there etc etc 🙄

Best comment came last week when the window cleaner told me I’m going to need to get a 2nd job just to feed him 😂 actually laughed my head off!