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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate that everyone comments on the size of my child?!

126 replies

waitingforwinter · 07/07/2021 15:24

8months old, and has consistently been around 98th centile for weight and 75th for height. He’s a big boy - I’m aware of it - I pushed him out 🤣🤣😅
Is it really the first thing people need to comment on?!
“ohhh...he’s a chunky thing isn’t he?!”
“Well he’s certainly not being underfed”
“Jeeez, what on earth are you feeding him?!”
“He’s a big lad isn’t he?! Has the HV checked his weight?!”
This is from strangers in the street as well as family etc 🙈 I’m plus size myself so maybe more sensitive to the weight comments than others! I feel like people are looking at my size then seeing him and think I’m weaning him on burgers and biscuits 🙈

Is this a normal thing that people comment on? I don’t thing I’ve ever commented on a child’s size 🤔🙄

OP posts:
Prairielake · 07/07/2021 15:52

I still get she’s a skinny thing just like her mum all the time and she’s 14. When I’m with my mum we get told I have her build. Im 40 and she’s 72 so it never stops! I’ve no idea why people comment but they do….

mediciempire · 07/07/2021 16:01

ahh i love a chunky baby. they are so cute and squishy. i don't think i do comment on it but i could definitely see me saying something. it's never meant in a negative way i just think babies with chunky legs are sooo cute.

EKGEMS · 07/07/2021 16:26

Many moons ago I was in the children's hospital with my baby about same age as yours and a church member brought me lunch and she called her spouse in front of me to say "Yeah he looks like a cute,normal baby can't tell anything is wrong with him" He has cerebral palsy and we were shielding him from large gatherings as he was on oxygen and vulnerable so obviously not everyone at church had seen him! I'm usually not a shrinking violet but I was just speechless at that! Some people are just rude and ignorant!

CatRatSplat · 07/07/2021 16:29

I get asked if mine are twins, nope they are 2 years apart. Eldest is tiny, below 9th percentile, the other is on the 50th! Height wise only 5cm difference. I just smile and say no 😂

I think it's just a way of sparking a conversation, trying to be nice.

Polkadots2021 · 07/07/2021 16:32

I feel for you OP, one of my son's got that kind of attention and once a random stranger angrily shouted as we walked past 'your baby is fat!'. I was so upset but then couldn't stop laughing when I told my friend later as it was so ridiculous. It was just his size he was meant to be - he's pretty lean now but more broad shoulders than other kids and looks like he is going to be tall - he'll grow up really strong, I think.

Dillydollydingdong · 07/07/2021 16:32

Mine was so tall he looked like a 6 year old when he was only 3. And yes, people commented on it.

ThatWouldBeEnough · 07/07/2021 16:40

I was on holiday in NY when DD was 7 months old. An Italian-American UPS driver crossed over the road to tell DH and I that she had the biggest thighs he had ever seen! Grin I have to admit I just thought it was funny! She was 98th centile too!

MargaretFraggle · 07/07/2021 16:41

Argh, people say the most annoying things about babies. Please don't let them make you worry though. My son was a very similar percentile to yours from birth (with a head off the charts!), but is now seven and (though tall) not overweight at all.

Marty13 · 07/07/2021 16:42

Agree, people will comment on something, if not his weight then his hair, vocabulary, etc.
Mine have a 19 months age gap and I also get asked if they're twins. Both tall for their age but one clearly taller and also darker curly hair while the youngest is white blond and very fair !

Comedycook · 07/07/2021 16:43

When people say this about babies, it's a compliment!

That1GreenBottle · 07/07/2021 16:43

It goes hand in hand with tone of voice.... You know if it's s happy friendly air headed comment or if its an obvious or back handed compliment/ judgement

Hankunamatata · 07/07/2021 16:44

Always comment on something. I used to just laugh and reply - yes he is a gorgeous big boy.

leonpride · 07/07/2021 16:45

It's a baby, what else are they meant to say? He's got a great sense of humour?

I get it's annoying when it's all the time but
A) every baby gets comments on their appearance
B) it's usually just benign chit chat
C) it's a collection of individual encounters with different people. Not like it's the same person bleating on every time.

ChikiTIKI · 07/07/2021 16:48

One of mine is very tall and we often get comments. Other is about 10th centile and we get comments about that too.

I find I don't mind because I love those features about them because it's just they way they are I suppose. I could see why it might get irritating with strangers mentioning it though as now I think of it, only friends and family comment about the dimensions of my kids!

TwoLeftElbows · 07/07/2021 16:48

Honestly people have no idea of how big babies are. I had a few "blimey, that's a massive baby" comments. DD varied between the 9th and 25th percentiles Grin.

Twokitstwokats · 07/07/2021 16:51

I have twins. So everyone says. I know they were born almost 2 years apart though. 1st one small for his age, 2nd one tall. Nothing I can do about it.

Messyplayallday · 07/07/2021 16:53

I went to one baby class with my then 4 week old, it was just before our state in the US moved to stay at home orders, and the only thing I remember from it was “oh my god are you sure she’s only 4 weeks? Gosh she’s massive compared to my 3 month old! Wow, how can you even walk - must have been a c-section! 4 weeks old, wow…I just can’t believe it.”

It was this continued verbal diarrhea out of the others mothers mouth and I was so upset, vulnerable, and the first time I went out the house. I sobbed during the class when everyone went to another room for music time. The worst thing was I used to teach that class! I was with colleagues who let me sob, and I was so excited for them to meet my DD it completely ruined it for me.

We’ve just started going out now to parks and being nearer to people and she’s 17 months, wearing age 3 clothing and now we get comments “she needs to wear a mask at the playground.” Nope - she doesn’t she’s not 2 yet. “Careful Jimmy, that girl might knock you over she’s really big and wobbly on her feet” “oh gosh really she’s only 17 months? Are you the nanny and maybe got it wrong? She’s really big for a 17 month old!”

I hate it. It’s not cute, it’s fat shaming toddlers. No one needs to comment on children’s size and weight.

Phrowzunn · 07/07/2021 16:55

Oh I’m guilty of this - sorry! Blush
Having had two big squishy babies myself I only ever mean it as a compliment. The bigger the cuter in my opinion. (Although tiny little old man babies with all their wrinkly skin and sparrow legs are also very cute!). I also looove babies with lots of hair and always wanted one with red hair! [sigh]

Just10moreminutesplease · 07/07/2021 16:55

@KirstenBlest

If it wasn't that it would be something else.

DD is a redhead like me and all I got was 'what a shame she has ginger hair'. Hmm

That is so rude! I’m furious on your behalf. Ginger hair is absolutely lovely (said as a fellow ginger whose a little sad that her baby doesn’t have red hair).
SecretRedhead · 07/07/2021 16:56

I've always liked to cuddle babies with big chubby rolls, there's something so cute and reassuring about them. DS was a skinny little things, almost no rolls. I was even a bit sad about it (had PND though, to be fair).

Mucky1 · 07/07/2021 17:33

My lad was 11lb and 2ft at birth he was and still is on the 99percentile. Folk have always said it to me and I can't say Iv ever minded. He's 11 now and bigger then me expected 6ft5 as an adult Confused you should probably get used to it Grin

KirstenBlest · 07/07/2021 17:39

@Just10moreminutesplease, I just inwardly laugh. People say stupid things.

A female friend is 6ft and she constantly gets told 'You're really tall' as if she hadn't guessed.

Rubyupbeat · 07/07/2021 18:52

Blimey, people are so sensitive....
My boys were extremely tall, it was commented on all the time. Sometimes people think they are being kind, its unlikely it's ever done in nastiness.
It's like most mums on here hate anyone even looking at their babies/children.

Roomonb · 07/07/2021 18:55

I got told not to worry because mine would “slim down” 🤨 was not impressed, she was a butterball and lovely this was when she was a few months old ffs.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 07/07/2021 19:16

I think it's fine if they say something in a positive way, such as he's a lovely big lad or if it's a small baby what a tiny dote etc. Some people are sensitive so I wouldn't say anything myself but it used to be a lot more common to make these sort of comments on babies and is done with good intentions. Even if someone says a baby is chubby in a nice way it's certainly a compliment as a bonny baby is what everybody wanted traditionally and even though HV sometimes warn against letting babies become overweight I think public opinion has not caught up with that, especially with elderly people who are more likely to say that sort of thing.

I don't like it if people make remarks that are not kind or say a child is too big or small or anything like that, it's really mean and I would give them an hard stare.