Found husbands "weird porn"

[RedDogCollar]

I can't ask anyone is RL about this as my husband is a good man and I don't want anyone to think badly of him.

My DH is a technophobe when it comes to phones. Can do the basics but really has no clue about how the Internet works and saves everything you look at.

We've been married 15 years and this is the first time it's ever happened. We bought our DC a climbing frame and DH was saying he saw a video on YouTube of how to construct it but then couldn't find it again. So I said if you go into the video history on his Internet settings you will find it there, he didn't know how to get into that so handed the phone to me. When i opened the settings you can quite clearly see that my DH watches porn very regularly. Not just standard porn either - mixture of Granny porn, transsexuals, masterbating in public etc. I felt sick when I saw it but didn't let on that I had seen it.

Abit later I couldn't get it out of my head and confronted him. He reckons that he watches so much porn that he watches the weird stuff but doesn't get turned on by it - which I think is a lie. I also mentioned that he is sometimes too tired for sex but clearly he has been jacking off in the day (he works shifts) so is not in the mood when he gets home.

He promised to stop and make more of an effort to hold off and have sex with me when he gets home. He claims he still finds me attractive and is just lazy and that a quick wank is easier.

I did something I never do and checked his phone last night when he was asleep and he is still doing it. Granny porn the last couple of days.

I don't know what to do. I feel sick and just don't know where to go from here

We have had a chat and he has said that he wants to stop and feels ashamed. He has suggested me putting a blocker on his phone for these sites but does that really cure the issue? He was crying and never cries but not sure if that's from shame or genuine upset

@RedDogCollar

I mean he knows how to search the Internet for stuff, use Google etc but if you asked him to delete his search history, log onto a different WiFi that sort of thing he hasn't got a clue. He doesn't use a computer, he will only use his phone

It's amazing how much they can learn when they have to, isn't it?

As a woman who watches occasionally, I've definitely looked at stuff I wouldn't in a million years want to do, but it's exciting to watch in the same way an action movie is but I wouldn't want to go out getting in fights!

I strongly feel this is a difference between men and women (as a generalisation). Women are happy to keep some fantasies in their head, they know reality is different. I think most men though, would try out their fantasies given the chance.

My husband enjoys tentacle porn so I cannot find it in me to find these sexual fantasies weird.

@RedDogCollar

We have had a chat and he has said that he wants to stop and feels ashamed. He has suggested me putting a blocker on his phone for these sites but does that really cure the issue? He was crying and never cries but not sure if that's from shame or genuine upset

He sounds like a good guy.

@Daisychaincarrot

My husband enjoys tentacle porn so I cannot find it in me to find these sexual fantasies weird.

should I stop no we don't work, we're retired. We don't go to the gym and any friends are joint friends, or family. It's blissful, thankyou.

@Dillydollydingdong never go shopping or even for a walk by yourself? Or have a long bath by yourself? Literally spend every minute by each other's side?

He has just messaged me to say he would like counselling. He was a previous alcoholic and he thinks his addictive behaviour stems from this. Does anyone know of any free counselling sessions either couples or specifically porn addiction? Money is tight but don't want to ignore this

never go shopping or even for a walk by yourself? Or have a long bath by yourself? Literally spend every minute by each other's side? or even fall asleep before him? Plenty of people want when their partner is asleep.

I’ve found it’s always the ones who are adamant that they don’t watch porn that spend their lunch hours watching hardcore bondage 🤣

@RedDogCollar

He has just messaged me to say he would like counselling. He was a previous alcoholic and he thinks his addictive behaviour stems from this. Does anyone know of any free counselling sessions either couples or specifically porn addiction? Money is tight but don't want to ignore this

Is it a porn "addiction" though or does he watch it just like other men do? Can he not function without watching it??

@BunnyRuddington

never go shopping or even for a walk by yourself? Or have a long bath by yourself? Literally spend every minute by each other's side? or even fall asleep before him? Plenty of people want when their partner is asleep.

Or watch different things in different rooms.

70 and 80 year olds? Do they look like old ladies?

My DP looks at all sorts of weird porn that repulses me but I genuinely don't think he is turned on by it all the time I think it's a bit like scrolling through Instagram for him.

I'd be more pissed off that he is wanking at work

@Watchingyou2sleezes

You idiots that think your man is far too virtuous to watch porn 🤣😂🤣🤣.

Get a grip (Not of them-they'll still do it no matter how much you service them). You just havent caught them yet.

You're not being very original. There is literally at least one of you "all men do it" on every porn thread.

I've no idea what mine gets up to privately, but he isn't using porn.

You're not being very original. There is literally at least one of you "all men do it" on every porn thread

Isn’t it interesting that’s it’s the only time it seems to be ok to say All Men? Harder to force women to roll over if they think they have a choice.

@RedDogCollar

He knows how I feel about it especially the type of porn.

I read that ALL men watch porn whether in a marriage or not, not sure if that's true? It's the fact that he knows the content disturbs me yet continues to do it behind my back.

It's so upsetting as our life is great apart from this

As long as it's not illegal, it's not your business what he watches. You also can't police his masterbation. His body, his business. Not yours.

@RedDogCollar

We have had a chat and he has said that he wants to stop and feels ashamed. He has suggested me putting a blocker on his phone for these sites but does that really cure the issue? He was crying and never cries but not sure if that's from shame or genuine upset

This is out of order. If a woman came on here saying her husband sexually shamed her, there'd be uproar.

I think some people have sexual kinks that they don’t want to share with their partner but when it affects your relationship then it’s time for a serious chat. However addiction is hard to break regardless of what the addiction is.

This is out of order. If a woman came on here saying her husband sexually shamed her, there'd be uproar

Hahaha! A woman getting off to videos of elderly men would be defended with no question? Yeah, they’d be called a troll is my bet.

This is out of order. If a woman came on here saying her husband sexually shamed her, there'd be uproar

She didn't sexually shame him. She is trying to deal with new information about her marriage.

3Brit clearly doesn't get how a real relationship works.

Sounds like he wants to stop but has no addictive personality. Everything else sounds great so I woukd go to counselling and work through it.