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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear mostly black to a wedding?

115 replies

CornishGem1975 · 06/07/2021 12:46

When I say black, it's a black dress with a light pink/white floral pattern on it, but I'd be wearing a black jacket too, nude shoes.

Is black too dismal and dreary for a wedding?

Personally, I am getting married soon and if people wore black to my wedding I doubt it would register but I'm aware that everyone has different views.

OP posts:
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kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 17:29

used to work in the industry. In terms of traditional etiquette it's a faux pas

when members of the royal family wear black at a wedding, I am sure it's fine for the rest of us!

hanahsaunt · 06/07/2021 17:35

I am still staggered at my deeply traditional MIL wearing not only all black but black trousers to her only daughter's wedding. It was/is so out of keeping with her that I do still wonder at what exactly she was trying to communicate.

DeadButDelicious · 06/07/2021 17:36

@MrsRussell @AutistGoth My people! Grin

Occasionally I like to frighten DH by suggesting we renew our vows, if only so I could wear the black wedding dress I always wanted and have the Halloween wedding of my dreams. 😍

Graphista · 06/07/2021 17:38

I don't see the issue with leggings being worn under a skirt/dress/tunic.

Not least because it's possibly been a choice made for medical/comfort reasons.

@kindaclassy not sure you are actually

Did the royal guests wear predominantly black with black accessories too? I don't believe so.

Plus the royals don't point out when anyone makes a faux pas but may well comment privately and to the best of my knowledge I don't think any actual royals have attended weddings in black.

CornishGem1975 · 06/07/2021 17:44

Think everyone who is going will know that I'm not a) disapproving b) mourning c) a jilted ex Hmm

OP posts:
miltonj · 06/07/2021 17:59

I definitely wouldn't mind if someone wore black to my wedding, but I would notice. In fact someone did and I think it did register but only for a second and I didn't actually care. I think it registered because it's not what I would do myself, as I love wearing wedding clothes as they are a particular type of dress that you can't wear everyday, whereas I can wear a black dress anytime. But again, wouldn't bother me if anyone else did.

kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 18:07

Did the royal guests wear predominantly black with black accessories too? I don't believe so.

Believe what you want 🤷

You can google a lot more

To wear mostly black to a wedding?
To wear mostly black to a wedding?
To wear mostly black to a wedding?
GreenTeaPingPong · 06/07/2021 18:15

@percheron67

I would not wear so much black to a wedding. Slightly off track - Tautology -f you say I there is no need to add personally. So many Mumsnetters do this. It is so annoying.
Re your English language correction: I disagree, the addition of 'personally' emphasises that for the OP it would hardly register, whereas it might for someone else.
vincettenoir · 06/07/2021 18:24

Sounds great. I think it’s fine.

Pinuporc · 06/07/2021 18:55

I wore a black dress to a wedding of a friend (actually I bought the dress for my DMs funeral) I accessories with bright pink though.
A good friend who I'd not seen for years wore black to my funeral. I would not have expected anything else as she only ever wore black. I was just happy she was there.

Pinuporc · 06/07/2021 18:56

🤣🤣🤣lol worst type ever - my friend wore black to my wedding!!Confused

RaisinsRuinEverything · 06/07/2021 19:01

Personally in my opinion I myself think the dress sounds fine and lovely as it’s not solid plain dark black but has a floral flower pattern with petals and leaves.

FloofyGuineaPig · 06/07/2021 19:08

Before I was aware of Mumsnet I’d been to one wedding where I wore a white trouser suit and two where I wore black dresses - had no idea you weren’t meant to wear black or white!

I think your outfit sounds absolutely fine (though from the above I may not be the right person to ask Grin)

kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 19:12

A good friend who I'd not seen for years wore black to my funeral.

it's a good typo though 😂

Pinuporc · 06/07/2021 19:14

it's a good typo though
Blush
I literally saw it as I pressed post! (Why o why is there no edit function? ) 🤣 🤣

ElizabethTudor · 06/07/2021 19:19

I’ve worn black to multiple weddings.
It’s always been fine.
(As in the B&G, and other family members, haven’t been remotely offended by the black choice!)
So I think it’s absolutely fine Op.

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 06/07/2021 19:22

I think it’s fine, if it was my wedding it would not bother me at all what people wore, I’d just be happy they’d taken the time to come.

XenoBitch · 06/07/2021 19:24

I live in black clothing, so anything else would make me feel very uncomfortable.

nocoolnamesleft · 06/07/2021 19:30

Hmmm. "Nude shoes" - is this yet another one of those white-normative things?

Motnight · 06/07/2021 19:37

I wore black to my wedding, Op!

MrsBobDylan · 07/07/2021 07:48

Absolutely fine to wear black imo. Pre-kids I wore a black corset with a pink knee length flare skirt (all charity shop bought) with a black fascinatior. to a wedding abroad.

We stayed in a tent the night before because we couldn't afford a hotel and I looked better than I have ever done in my entire life.

Hathertonhariden · 07/07/2021 08:09

I think you can tell if a black clad guest at wedding disapproves of the marriage from their body language, facial expressions and probably muttering.

Happy guest in black - very different.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 07/07/2021 09:00

I don’t think black is appropriate for a wedding unless you’re trying to express disapproval!
Black sounds dreary and depressing for a wedding even with a pattern.
The only time I’ve worn black to a wedding was a very colourful dress with a butterfly pattern, shimmery and mostly green/turquoise and blue with a touch of back as the colour faded to ombré at the knee.
I love MN for these kind of posters Grin
It was fine when I wore black, you, urgh no. Hmm

Bumblenums1234 · 07/07/2021 09:02

I always wear black, for weddings I just jazz it up with bright coloured accessories.

Honestly, knowing my friends, if I wore any other colour they would die of shock hahaha

IntermittentParps · 07/07/2021 09:03

I think the outfit you describe is potentially quite problematic.

a) a floral dress with a black background? Confused

b) 'problematic'? It's a fecking dress, not a diplomatic incident.
My main impression of this thread is that some people really need to adjust their priorities. Why on earth would anyone on a wedding day to think about anything other than their wonderful new spouse (the couple themselves) or what a lovely day it is and how happy they are for them (their guests)?