[quote lollipoprainbow]@sleeponeday sorry to jump on the post but I'm in the same boat too ! The school are pretty useless. Any advice would be amazing. [/quote]
Absolutely happy to. All the things I now know, I learned from other parents. It's about finding that network and locking into it, and I wish to God there was a way to do that without going through what you have to, first, to locate that tribe also in the trenches.
There are two excellent charities that help (I would avoid SENDIASS like the plague, personally - independent, my backside. They told me, and three other parents, we'd never get EHCPs. All of us have, all at high needs levels. Trained and funded by LAs.)
IPSEA
SOSSEN!
By parents and adult autistics, for parents and adult autistics.
I'll message you later with my recommendations for private clinicians. All are excellent clinicians, but also excellent and expert with Tribunals - having reports from them means most LAs will back down, because they know they will lose at any Hearing, unless you are seeking a really expensive special school (they usually still lose, if you have the evidence to support it, but it's way more stressful and takes longer than with good legal advice). I'd also recommend, if you can afford a lawyer - lots of people can't and still win, so don't panic - that you use a Direct Access barrister. They don't charge for emails (within reason!) just work actually done. And they are happy to do the tough parts, but not the donkey work, which also saves money over a solicitor. In my view you gain from:
- a conference to discuss all the reports, a draft EHCP if one has been issued, and what to do next, right at the start.
- the barrister drafting the formal Grounds for Appeal for you, so they can make it really tight and effective
- the barrister representing you at any Hearing and cross examining the LA witnesses.
Having said that MOST parents who reach Tribunal - and most don't, as it is settled before - do NOT have a lawyer, yet 94% still win.
If you 'just' (ha!) want more support in school, the key is to get reports saying it's needed, and what it should look like, and then to get an EHCP that says that. They are often chocolate teapots and drafted like a list of friendly suggestions, which can then be ignored as they aren't enforceable. It's against the law for them to be that way. They must be Specific (what must be done, when, for how long a session, by whom, and for how many weeks/months), Measurable (what is the outcome meant to be, and how can you measure whether it's achieved?) Achievable (targets that are impossible are worthless and demoralising) Relevant (does this target or outcome actually matter to the child's development?) and Timely (there should be a set date when it is meant to be achieved).
EHCPs must, by law, specify each and every one of a child's needs in Section B. Must. All of them. That's why good expert reports are so important. And then, also by law, Section F must - MUST - have provision for all the needs B establishes. But you can get wishy washy provision and unless a report specifies what needs to happen in precise terms, you can't insist on eg 40 mins a week of direct OT or SLT. A report by an excellent OT or SLT, and you can - and NHS and LA professionals aren't allowed to make those specified recommendations. All they are allowed to mandate are things schools have to do, so some TA can try to do a bit of OT with access to a phone line. Which is parlously inadequate.
Some charities offer free assessments for people on very low incomes, and I believe some legal aid is sometimes available, and same. There are also some free clinics across the country for training students, who will provide reports at a private level (we have one such amazing clinic and reports, which is a huge relief). But on the whole, parents who want to get their kids properly supported have to be rich, or have to be in debt. We are not poor, yet we are in the second camp. We use 0% credit cards and just shuffle that debt across to new deals when it comes close to the end of the promotional period, while paying it down as fast as we can. Moneysavingexpert saved my children's sanity and education with that trick, essentially. Thank you, Mr Martin Lewis!
I will PM anyone who wants - or you can PM me - with the recs for experts, and also with the name of our amazing barrister. She loves it when I give people free advice from what I've learned from her, too - she used to head a charity for kids excluded for SEN so she is driven by real passion for what she does. She's ranked Tier 1 in the Legal 500, which is a very big deal in legal terms, and OFSTED instruct her in very tricky cases, yet she charges hugely less than a local provincial SEN solicitor.
Finally, the LA can be allies. They have no money - that's why they are so hardball at Tribunals - but they care, in my experience. I love our LA despite going to Tribunals against them and dealing with shenanigans. That relationship is valuable because I can trust them if a school fails to comply with the EHCP. When a school messed one of mine around, the LA contacted the Inclusion Team for me and so pressure was applied by them, me and Inclusion - the school started co-operating. They are just doing what they have to, because the government underfund them so badly that if every kid got what they needed, the LAs would all go bankrupt. So don't take it personally - but also, don't forget that your child has you as their sole advocate. You are the only person who can ensure they have a chance to thrive in adult life, instead of being a recluse, or abused. Never feel bad for fighting for them - that's our job description, and if you are patient, polite and reasonable with the LA and clear that you will never stop advocating for your child, believe me, they respect you for it. More than one has told me that the kids they really fear for are the ones whose parents don't care. You need to be what a doctor friend of mine calls 'a velvet bulldozer'.
Happy to help anyone at all who PMs me. I have lost count of the number of people I have PM'd on here in the last decade to see help and support myself - there s a quiet Freemasonry of parents of SEN kids. I was helped by those who have been through this and that's how I found out what to do next, and I would always welcome paying forward the huge support and help that I have been given. My inbox is always there to anyone who would like a steer.