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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have second wedding at same venue as my first?

82 replies

Nahhh · 06/07/2021 10:29

I’d love to know peoples opinions on this.

I’m getting married for the second time next year. We’re having around 20-30 people. I’ve spent months searching and the place I had my first wedding reception seems like the nicest place to host a small wedding in my area.

Would you think it’s weird for me to have my second marriage at the same place as I had my first? Albeit 10 years later....

OP posts:
Xmassprout · 06/07/2021 10:31

Yes I would think that was weird

Hotcuppatea · 06/07/2021 10:32

Yes. A bit weird.

Lampadusa · 06/07/2021 10:32

Yes I would think that was weird. How does your fiancé feel about it?

piglet81 · 06/07/2021 10:32

Yes, sorry, I would find that a bit odd. What does your partner think?

Smarshian · 06/07/2021 10:32

Yes I think it would be weird, sorry. I just think everyone would compare it to the first and be talking about the first wedding all day.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 06/07/2021 10:32

What does your dp think? That's the only thing that really matters.

DogsSausages · 06/07/2021 10:32

I wouldnt do it, I would find it pretty upsetting if I were your partner.

bonfireheart · 06/07/2021 10:33

Yes weird.

Eekay · 06/07/2021 10:33

I don't think I'd like that at all if I was your intended!

Zari29 · 06/07/2021 10:34

Yes very odd. If it's some of the same people then they most certainly will be thinking back to you and your ex. That's a bit embarrassing for you and your dp?

WimpoleHat · 06/07/2021 10:34

Sorry, I would find it very strange! Expect a few “deja vu” comments….

Hoolihan · 06/07/2021 10:35

Yes weird and also massively unimaginative!

Frannibananni · 06/07/2021 10:35

People would talk about it and compare the 2 weddings.

Original poster
Nahhh · 06/07/2021 10:36

It is weird isn’t it? Grin I knew it was really - just wanted to check!

Partner was fine with the idea. It’s a very local, popular hotel/ restaurant so we’ve been several times as a couple to see friends there.

A wedding is something different though!

OP posts:
LemonFantaGin · 06/07/2021 10:36

Wouldn't bother me, so long as my partner was ok with it.

EL8888 · 06/07/2021 10:36

Very odd. There are other venues?! What does your fiancé / fiancée think?!

Mountainpika · 06/07/2021 10:36

No. If you both like it, have it there. Other people can think what they like. It's all about you two, not them.

Palavah · 06/07/2021 10:36

Weird, unless you are a widow and the venue you're talking about is the local place of worship.

StrawberryDelight10 · 06/07/2021 10:37

Have you asked your parter what they think? I feel like I'd feel a bit weird about this if I was your partner.

HauteGirlSummer · 06/07/2021 10:37

I wouldn't do it. Especially if you want a fresh start. Not sure on what terms your previous marriage ended but wouldn't want to take the same 'energy' into a new one...

MachiaNelly · 06/07/2021 10:38

I would think it a very odd thing to do. Even if it were the only venue in town I'd go to any lengths to avoid it

Sloaneslone · 06/07/2021 10:41

If you partner is fine with it, do it.

But, I used to organise weddings for a hotel and we had a few slightly odd weddings, with things similar.

People will think it's weird and maybe mention it between themselves and think it's a bit odd.

Personally, I wouldn't just because I wouldn't want memories of the first marriage being so prominent. But that's because I was so sure it was forever and then ended horrifically.

I know that, for me, I would be playing that over in my head. I was so sure last time. How do am I sure this time.

But that is just me and it probably won't do the same for you

Namechangenumber23 · 06/07/2021 10:41

Weird. Sorry. My brother did exactly this and the whole day people made comments/(bad) jokes about 2 for 1 deals, deja vu, even the best man thought it was hilarious to refer to it as a BOGOF wedding. New SiL wasn't best pleased and I don't blame her. I think she initially wasn't bothered as it's "just a venue" but it turned into a whole day of people referencing his first wedding which is really not what you want ideally

Dixiechickonhols · 06/07/2021 10:43

Yes. It’s odd especially if it’s a venue not church.

HotChocolateLover · 06/07/2021 10:44

YANBU to feel it’s weird. However, those are your feelings and if you’re happy then go for it.
Congratulations!

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