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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have second wedding at same venue as my first?

82 replies

Nahhh · 06/07/2021 10:29

I’d love to know peoples opinions on this.

I’m getting married for the second time next year. We’re having around 20-30 people. I’ve spent months searching and the place I had my first wedding reception seems like the nicest place to host a small wedding in my area.

Would you think it’s weird for me to have my second marriage at the same place as I had my first? Albeit 10 years later....

OP posts:

BunnyRuddington · 06/07/2021 11:11

You know it's weird, that's why you're asking. Otherwise you'd just have booked it.

TheOrigRights · 06/07/2021 11:18

Won't you think it will be weird?
Your mind will be full of thoughts of your first wedding, surely?

honeylulu · 06/07/2021 11:28

A friend from my home town got married twice in the same church. It did seem very odd but she was an active churchgoer there so to her it seemed very logical to get married there rather than somewhere she felt less of a connection with. Her children had been baptised there too.

PurpleFlower1983 · 06/07/2021 11:32

If your partner isn’t bothered then it’s fine but it is weird and you would be opening yourself up to jokes/comparisons etc.

billy1966 · 06/07/2021 11:47

As long as your partner was happy why not.

People wear white a second time and it is their own business.

Suit yourself

FiveShelties · 06/07/2021 11:49

I got married in my village church and after divorcing I asked the vicar if he would marry me and my soon to be second husband. He replied that it would be 'like an action replay with just the groom different'.

Needless to say we married elsewhere.

sailmeaway · 06/07/2021 11:51

Odd. And you don't want your guests comparing the two, or going 'Oh, here we go again!' which they will if you pick the same place!
There MUST be somewhere else you can choose...

BillMasen · 06/07/2021 12:04

Nope

I would feel like the role of “groom” was interchangeable and didn’t really have to be me, anyone would do

Starryskiesinthesky · 06/07/2021 12:05

I kinda get you but I wouldn’t!

theemmadilemma · 06/07/2021 12:06

Yes, weird. The place where I got married the first time had a wonderful restaurant, but I never even took my current Partner there. Just felt too weird.

Dixiechickonhols · 06/07/2021 12:25

Even if people are polite it’s awkward. Usual chit chat with people you barely know - what a lovely hotel have you been here before - yes for ops first wedding. Less polite wondering if it’s buy 2 get 3rd wedding free.
A church is different if you are religious and part of church family then you’d want to marry there - but presumably usually only allowed if first spouse dead so different scenario anyway.

Xmasbaby11 · 06/07/2021 12:30

I would think it was weird and 10 years is not even that long. I wouldn't even have considered the first venue.

mistermagpie · 06/07/2021 12:32

Yeah it's weird, sorry! I've been married twice and my second wedding couldn't have been more different to the first, I think that's more normal.

I know someone who's second husband had the same surname as her first. Fair enough, she can't control that, but they also got married on the same date as her first wedding. I thought that was a bit strange.

There are millions of venues, find a new one.

Backhills · 06/07/2021 12:33

Yes, I'm usually all for practicality and taking emotion out of things, but even I would find that weird.

garlictwist · 06/07/2021 12:36

I don't think it's that weird? But clearly I am in a minority judging by the other replies. To be honest, unless you were close family I probably wouldn't even remember where you got married the first time.

overthethamesfromyou · 06/07/2021 12:38

As long as you don't mind the speeches starting with 'Here we are again......'

peboh · 06/07/2021 12:41

Yeah, I'd find that slightly weird. Personally I'd want to start my new marriage totally separate to my first one.

LizzieW1969 · 06/07/2021 12:43

A church is different if you are religious and part of church family then you’d want to marry there - but presumably usually only allowed if first spouse dead so different scenario anyway.

Not anymore. Most churches will marry divorcees quite freely. My DSis has had two C of E weddings. Though not in the same church and they didn’t have the same hotel for the reception as she had for her first wedding. (I do find that a bit weird admittedly.)

kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 12:48

Very weird.

I would not be impressed with my partner if they wanted a ceremony in the place where they had their first wedding! Who wants to be reminded of the ex on the day?

I don't believe you cannot find at least one other option, and if you are stuck with a very specific date, change that.

dworky · 06/07/2021 12:56

No, it's just a venue.

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/07/2021 13:00

I would think it a bit weird but I'm very much of the opinion that as it doesn't affect me it's none of my business.

It may seem the logical choice but I'd worry that on the day there would be a sence od sadness not joy.

DevonTF · 06/07/2021 13:15

Nope. Just weird.

My cousin did this. Married 18 years ago. 2 kids. Divorced after 5 years.
She then married his friend. Same venue. She wore big white dress, same chief bridesmaid etc. We all still laugh at it now.

Original poster

Nahhh · 06/07/2021 13:23

It’s a definite no then!

Back to the tent in the back garden plan 👍🏻

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 06/07/2021 13:26

Someone I know had the ceremony at the same church. It was very odd.

MMMarmite · 06/07/2021 13:31

Yeah, i'd find it odd if unless it was your local church where you're post of the congregation.

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