Sending my kids to alternate childcare because provider won't have vaccine

[Mummyandthree]

My kids are currently having to isolate because their childminder and partner have tested positive for covid. In chatting childminder has said she won't be having the vaccine because she believes it does more harm than good.

My parents are mega annoyed with this (older grandparents) and they've made their thoughts known, I also don't actually need to use her services anymore but as she is an old friend I have been doing because I felt bad removing them altogether.

Just not sure if I'm being an idiot over it? I mean does it matter if she doesn't get vaccinated? It's her choice. But as she comes into contact with loads of different kids and doesn't know if any of these kids family members are vulnerable isn't that wrong? Surely she has a duty of care to the kids and their families.

Her personal choice not to have vaccine.

Your personal choice what provider you use.

You aren't being an idiot wanting a vaccinated provider as she isn't being an idiot to refuse vaccine. (I'm pro vax and don't understand her stance but respect it)

Absolutely.

Partly because she poses a higher risk to your children by not being jabbed, partly because she has shown that she has poor risk assessment and concern for others which would make me concerned about other aspects of her care.

She doesn't have to get the vaccination but you don't have to use her services.

YANBU. her choice not to have it but equally it’s your choice to do best for your kids.

She can get Covid again. As you don’t need her, use this as an opportunity to break away.

Her body her choice. Your kids your choice.

I do wonder though whether you would have made this decision if she’d not had mmr for example. Or polio vaccine. For whatever reason.

And by you I mean the generic you. Not you personally op. I’ve seen so many threads and spoken to so many people in real life who have said they won’t see x person because they’re not vaccinated or won’t go to work because x isn’t getting the vaccine.

At what point will we as a society stop trying to segregate ourselves over a vaccine?

Well if she’s just had it she’s unlikely to have it again soon, so she’s probably not putting your family at increased risk for the next six months or so. But she does sound quite annoying and you don’t really need to use her, so it’s your choice.

She doesn't have a duty of care to have a vaccine you think she should have because you're paying her for services, no. Equally though, you've no duty to send your children there. Mutual lack of obligations on both sides. Especially as you don't even need a CM now anyway!

We're not having a measles mumps rubella or polio pandemic at the moment though, are we?!

@ememem84

Her body her choice. Your kids your choice.

I do wonder though whether you would have made this decision if she’d not had mmr for example. Or polio vaccine. For whatever reason.

And by you I mean the generic you. Not you personally op. I’ve seen so many threads and spoken to so many people in real life who have said they won’t see x person because they’re not vaccinated or won’t go to work because x isn’t getting the vaccine.

At what point will we as a society stop trying to segregate ourselves over a vaccine?

I do tend to avoid anti vaxers in general and they always make themselves known at some point.

If you use an alternative provider surely you won't know if they are vaccinated? Nursery staff? School staff? Teachers?

But now she has had the virus, won't she have antibodies?

You can sack her off OP. She'll pick more kids up from somewhere.

@bookh

If you use an alternative provider surely you won't know if they are vaccinated? Nursery staff? School staff? Teachers?

Good point, didn't think of that. At least with this one you know. There won't be any obligation for other providers to share that information with you and if they do, you won't know if they're lying or not. OP would you be moving them to someone else you know well?

@ememem84

Her body her choice. Your kids your choice.

I do wonder though whether you would have made this decision if she’d not had mmr for example. Or polio vaccine. For whatever reason.

And by you I mean the generic you. Not you personally op. I’ve seen so many threads and spoken to so many people in real life who have said they won’t see x person because they’re not vaccinated or won’t go to work because x isn’t getting the vaccine.

At what point will we as a society stop trying to segregate ourselves over a vaccine?

As a childcare provider I would hope that the person is protecting herself against common diseases. Getting measals or rubella as an adult is very dangerous and it can easily being transmitted before the symptoms are shown, she could pick it up from any child in her care or her own children.

I do think that we will get herd immunity at one point and enough people are fully immunisied to protect the ones who can't have the jab. But we are nowhere there yet.

I do not understand anti-vax but respect it to a certain degree if it is not affecting other people. I can't live my life avoiding them though so I would hope that at least at the moment non-vaccinated people do everything to protect themselves like distance, wearing masks, regular self-testing.

I’d consider it as well. I know the rules are going to change but I’d be annoyed my kids needing to self isolate because someone else has taken a decision not to get vaccinated being a higher risk of catching the virus than somebody that has had the vaccine and will less likely catch it

Definitely your choice who you use but the couple studies that have been done show previous infection is better protection than vaccination. Of course previous infection + vaccination is even better... So not really sure you're going to accomplish much.

I think there is a difference between a risk-based decision ("I am concerned this childminder is at increased risk of infecting my family/causing inconvenient and stressful isolation") and a bit of a flounce on moral disagreement ("I won't be around anti-vaxxers"). YANBU if the former; YANBU (but you are being silly) if the latter.

Usually I caution against sacking off a childcare arrangement you're otherwise happy with over a single issue, but if you don't even need her...

Her body, her choice to make herself unemployed.

Put your kids first, rather than pandering to this nonsense. If someone who looks after children for a living can't work out that protecting the vulnerable people they look after is more important than neurotic posturing they actually don't deserve a job. I know that makes me sound intolerant but I've had enough of this.

Well how long will you keep up avoiding the unvaccinated? It's not something thats sustainable. You also don't always get to find out who has been vaccinated anyway, so it's pointless imo.

I wouldn't just out of principle, it would just irritate me

Duty of care doesnt mean putting chemicals in to her body that she doesnt want. Whether you or I agree with her standpoint on it or not is irrelevant in so far as a duty of care goes.

You would not be U to use a different childcare provider, you have to be comfortable with whoever you leave in charge of your children.

I use a well known site to advertise my available childcare spaces and they have introduced a vaccinated tag that parents and providers can add to their profiles.
All of my current parents know that I am now fully vaccinated and I've downloaded the NHS app so I will be able to prove to any new parents who ask that I am vaccinated.
It's ultimately her choice and it's parents choice to use her or not. Considering she's working with children who are not eligible to be vaccinated you'd think that would be top priority to be vaccinated herself.

It’s like an episode of Black Mirror in all honesty. We used to jump away from any other stranger, now it’s just the unvaccinated ones. Surprised we don’t all have to wear a badge letting everyone know whether we’re vaccinated or not.

@gamerchick good point. anti-vaxers are in my mind like preachy vegans. always make themselves known.

interestingly i've just had a conversation with dm about my neighbours. they're travelling at present in the UK (we are channel islands) and haven't been vaccinated. they're both in their 60's. because of this, when they come back on island they will have to isolate for 10/14 days (i'm not sure which).

mum said that she wonders how the border staff will take it when they come through and say that they haven't been vaccinated. do i think they'll be shocked. i said not really. no more than any other person who comes through and says no not yet. that's all they have to say.

So now you know she's tested positive and will be immune. Isn't she safer than moving to another provider that may not be vaccinated?

And even if they are can still catch and spread it. (To your children and parents)

Do you want to make some kind of point? Or do you want someone who has already had the virus and can't pass it to you?